Here we go again - working third shift questions

[gemini3]

This issue has come up with us before, and last time we were able to get it resolved through the intervention of the court ordered counselor.  We have no longer been going to counseling, after yet another violation of our privacy and trust.  The counselor told her that she needed to seek counseling for her own issues before anything could be accomplished regarding co-parenting.  That was about six months ago.

So, here we are again, and she has accepted a job working 3rd shift.  She told my husband that a neighbor would be coming over (after the kids went to bed) to watch them until the morning, and then they would go off to school.  According to her it would only be 2 days a week, and the other days would be over the weekend.  Found out from the kids that it would actually be 4 weekdays and one weekend day.

We do not have first right of refusal.  We live 20 minutes from the kids mom.  My husband has joint legal and she has primary physical.

My question is do we have a good chance of getting first right of refusal if we have to take this to court? 

[eagleeyefam]

Living that close together I would guess yes. Be prepared to drive the kids to school in the morning!

[ocean]

Taking a chance...you are not in the same school district so you would have to get them every night and then bring them to school. Really it is daycare and they are asleep so I dont see the big issue with it. She is using someone to watch them sleep and an hour in the morning to get the off to school. If she is not asking you to pay for it, I would leave it alone.

Maybe you can ask to "help" one day during the week. You will keep them overnight and bring them to school. Ask and see if she willing to do that...it will help her out, not paying anyone. If you have her email you can do it on there so it is less emotion. Just keep it factual. "The kids told me that you need a babysitter on XYZ. I would like to have them for one of those nights each week. I can pick them up, do HW, and get them to school in the AM. This will save you from daycare issues/money. Please let me know which day would work for you"

Now if she is asking for you to pay for the babysitter, then offer your house as the altenative....

[gemini3]

We are in different districts, but one school is actually only ten minutes from us because of the way the districts are laid out.  We have no problem taking them to school in the morning.  We told her this, and my husband also offered to give up some of his time on the weekends since he would have them during the week.

[srobarts]

You should file for shared parenting.
There isn't any reason why the children wouldn't benefit by being with either parent, even when asleep. Think about the evenings that they have a bad dream, are sick, and so on.....a parent is better than a babysitter when a child needs nurturing.