The dreaded braces issue...

[gemini3]

I've been doing some research on this, and have found a lot of info regarding whether or not the NCP has to pay - but nothing on our situation.

My SD is in need of braces.  Over the summer she went in for consult during my husband's parenting time.  I took her (my husband was working) and found out that her mom hadn't even gotten an x-ray of the child's teeth in 8 years.  I got the x-rays, and there was some serious malformation of her teeth.  The dentist had the ortho come in, and he said the sooner the better - and that some teeth needed to come out because the adult teeth weren't coming in because of them.  Authorized that, and was told that she needed to get the braces right away because her teeth were crowded and the hole would close up without the adult tooth coming down if she didn't get the braces.

That was 4 months ago.  Mom showed up at the dentist when she found out a tooth had to be pulled, and almost started crying over her "poor baby" right there in the room.  I gave her the info on braces that were given to me, and got a copy for my husband.  My husband sent her an e-mail outlining the costs, and what she would be responsible for - and what the monthly payment he would make to the dentist would be.  She never responded, and she hasn't taken the child in for consultation.

The teeth that the dentist was worried wouldn't come in haven't.  You can't even see them starting to come in - just gums.  We're afraid that she's going to have serious problems if she doesn't get the braces soon - and there's no question that they're medically necessary since her teeth aren't coming in properly.

Any suggestions on what we should do?

[MixedBag]

I've had 3 kids go through braces.

Two different courts, so it was handled two different ways.

Personally -- I suggest you focus on this from two different angles.

1.  Handle your step-daughter's situation to get care as one angle.  Proceed keeping her care first and foremost in your mind when it comes to making decisions about what to do based on the dentist and orthodontist's advice.

2.  Handle getting Mom to reimburse dad or to pay her share as a separate situation.

With EX#1 -- he didn't want to pay for his two girls' braces and the judge didn't make him.  Now....that was many many moons ago, and maybe the courts as a whole handle it differently now.  Our girls KNEW who was footing the bill to get their pretty teeth.

With EX#2 -- I supported getting braces for our son, so that wasn't a problem. 

My middle daughter needed appliances and then braces -- so it was a double whammy of care in the long run.

[Kitty C.]

I work at a dental college, so let me see if I can help.........

I know it's obvious to you and me that it appears braces are medically necessary, but you know the drill.......get it in writing from the professional.  If it is proved that the braces are medically necessary....and you have an order that all costs are split, then you have an argument for whether the NCP has to pay.

But since BM is the NCP and appears unwilling to do this for her child, then I strongly recommend that all the appts. be made while the child is with you.  Other than that, if she still refuses to seek tx for the child, then your only recourse is court.  As for the cost (and she still refuses to pay it), the court will have to be notified about that as well.  Not sure how it's done in your state, but some states have all med. reimbursements done thru the CS office, so that may be where you have to start on that issue.

Your other enemy here is time......with kids' teeth, a few months can make a big difference because changes can happen pretty fast.  And the last thing you want is to have to resort to oral surgery in order to alleviate the situation if it goes from bad to worse.

[Kitty C.]

One other suggestion, gemini............

If you live near a university with a dental school, you might want to investigate what the cost of orthodontics would be there.  Here where I work, it's about $2500-3000, less than half of private in the area, but you have to be screened and selected for the program.  DS has been and currently SS is going through the program......saved us a TON of money!

[gemini3]

Just to clarify - my husband is the NCP and BM is the CP.  Although, she rarely takes the kids for any routine medical or dental visits.  We usually end up doing it when the kids are with us - which is what happened with this. 

In their order it states that my husband carry the insurance, and she is responsible for out-of-pocket expenses up to $250 every year.  After that they are split the cost.

It sounds like we're going to have to get them put on ourselves, and then see if the court will order her to pay her share.  Is that a show cause?

[Kitty C.]

I am assuming it would be a show cause, as she will have to prove to the court why she isn't paying.....

[ocean]

Ask the dentist to bill her portion. We had SD dentist do this and we each get our own bill. They may do it.

Did you start the braces yet? If not, send her a certified letter stating something like:
Ex,
According to the dentist SD needs braces and dental work. It has been a few months and we have not heard anything. I made an appointment tentatively for XX when SD is with me. The costs will be split according to the current court order. The dentist has agreed to set up payment plans for both of us and you will receive a bill in the mail for your portion. (or your monthly cost will be xxx, and can be mailed to the dentist at XXX)
You

If the dentist wont do that , then just write, then dentist needs a deposit of XXX as of XXX date. Since you are responsible for the first XXX, please submit your portion to them directly and I will do the same so the work can be started.

[CuriousMom]

gemini -

Our CS order states I pay the first $250 for out-of-pocket medical, but it doesn't clarify if medical is all inclusive to dental, eye, etc.  Not sure how that would work with your husband as NCP either but if it's medically necessary it should fall under that clause.  Anything I pay out of pocket over that and he refused to reimburse me, I have to submit directly to domestics and they take the ball from there. 

I think Ocean made a good point, see if the orthodontist will bill her her portion while you and your husband pay yours directly.  Kitty made a great point too by finding a dental college.  I work for a dental manufacturing company, we have a divisional R&D building beside mine, they do pro bono work for the public at times.  Another avenue to try if there is one close to you.

[MixedBag]

I'd lean towards ortho being an expense that's shared whether it's specifically listed or not.

I'd also lean towards getting everything done on the parent's time who will support this endeavor with or without the other parent's support.

And yes, if dad leans forward and does this -- ask mom to reimburse and if she doesn't, ask the judge to make her.

BUT I'd be ready to foot the entire bill myself just in case.