"Best interest of the children"

[tgastte]

The whole TRO was denied? She cant ask for the whole family to be under HER TRO....LOL...

YUP!!!!!!! she did try...but how the hell can she file for TRO against me to protect my kids when the kids are living with me...all she wants is to throw false accusations against me so she'll look good in court..like what i said on my previous postings my record is clean..im talking about clean..only speeding tickets..THATS IT!! unlike her she has a record under the influence, possession, and parapernalia of METHAMPETHAMINE...i dont know what she thinking..hopefully that's a point againsta her for filing a bogus domestic violence against me..

[tgastte]

I have one more question...Like what I wrote earlier that the kids stayed with me for the last 4yrs 100% of the time..how do I present my case to the mediator and to the judge about it..or how am I going to let them know to just follow "STATUS QUO"..Im sorry im just totally lost when it comes to this custody,divorce and child support legalities..

[ocean]

You can make a year calendar and make all the days you had the kids blue and all the days she saw them in orange....
Great picture all in one shot so they can see.

Can do the same thing for phone calls...if you kept records...

Just say "I have been the primary parent for the last 4 years. Ex left the home and did not return until XX. In the 4 years she has called the children XX times and saw them XX days" Since the court papers have been filed she has seen the kids XX times and called XX times. I have been the kids primary parent since XX month, XX year and have done all the school events, activities, and dr appointments. They are both doing well in school. I want to work with XX to give her ample time to see our children but at the same time give them the stability that they need."

Also fit in there that "last week that she filed for a TRo that was denied" (not sure how to word that part)>
You can have a little speech ready in your head to say...sometimes you will be able to speak...others times..judge will just keep asking questions...some of your speech can come out during those questions...

[tgastte]

You can make a year calendar and make all the days you had the kids blue and all the days she saw them in orange....
Great picture all in one shot so they can see.

Can do the same thing for phone calls...if you kept records...

Just say "I have been the primary parent for the last 4 years. Ex left the home and did not return until XX. In the 4 years she has called the children XX times and saw them XX days" Since the court papers have been filed she has seen the kids XX times and called XX times. I have been the kids primary parent since XX month, XX year and have done all the school events, activities, and dr appointments. They are both doing well in school. I want to work with XX to give her ample time to see our children but at the same time give them the stability that they need."

Also fit in there that "last week that she filed for a TRo that was denied" (not sure how to word that part)>
You can have a little speech ready in your head to say...sometimes you will be able to speak...others times..judge will just keep asking questions...some of your speech can come out during those questions...

So with my situation what are my chances of getting "SOLE PHYSICAL CUSTODY"? pls somebody be honest; is it slim to none? 90%? 100% so I can get myself ready and the kids for the worst...also she's killing me with false accusations and temporary support, i nver got credit for taking care of the kids for 4 yrs..gimme a break..if i lose this case i dont know what to do anymore, i will lose my kids, money that i barely make and evrything coz my kids are everything to me..if she keep on pushing the $850.00/ month support she moght as well take the kids in her apartment coz i wont be able to afford the rent..thats why i rented the place is for me and my 2 kids for them to have a secure house and environment..i wont be able to afford it anymore...pls help!!!

[ocean]

You just want primary custody...even if it is joint is not the end of the world. If it is joint she has a say if you wanted to change schools or dr appointments...but they live with you and it would be a joint decision.
With you having them for 4 years, you have a high shot of keeping custody. You can also say that you would like the child support to reflect the custody as it is making it harder for you to keep up with the kids cost. Why are you paying that much again? Is that temp support ? Why was that ordered if you have kids?

[tgastte]

You just want primary custody...even if it is joint is not the end of the world. If it is joint she has a say if you wanted to change schools or dr appointments...but they live with you and it would be a joint decision.
With you having them for 4 years, you have a high shot of keeping custody. You can also say that you would like the child support to reflect the custody as it is making it harder for you to keep up with the kids cost. Why are you paying that much again? Is that temp support ? Why was that ordered if you have kids?

that was only a temporary support order while our case is in litigation "PENDENTE LITE ORDER"..i have No idea where did the judge get that figure, coz during the first OSC that she filed we agreed to 50-50 i think thats why she get that kind of money but since that order pushed thru she only saw the kids twice for 5 hours each visit..so i re-filed for another OSC to modify the support and custody, we went to another mediation and the mediator's report said clearly in papers " THAT THE FATHER WILL HAVE SOLE PHYSICAL CUSTODY" went to court when the judge is about to finalize it she didnt agree to it now we have to go to another mediation on nov 20th and a trial on dec 11th, i dont think the judge put an IMPUTED income whe he did the numbers on support coz she's unemployed and just dont wanna work at all...the judge also ordered for our next mediation that make the kids available at all times for the mediator or evaluator, the kids are 13 and 11..so what do u guys think?

[boilergal]

I think you are getting lots of good advice here.  And unfortunately nobody can give you any sort of idea what the outcome may be.  We can't say 50 50 chance or 90% likely or anything.  Because we just don't know.

I certainly understand your worries and need to find some answers, but the answers are really only going to come from the mediation and the judge.

I don't remember, but are you doing this without a lawyer?

Have you filed a motion for Sole Physical custoday since the 50/50 earlier this year?

I can't remember what others have said, but I'd look into filing for Sole Physical Custody now if you haven't already.

Keep us posted.

[tgastte]

I think you are getting lots of good advice here.  And unfortunately nobody can give you any sort of idea what the outcome may be.  We can't say 50 50 chance or 90% likely or anything.  Because we just don't know.

I certainly understand your worries and need to find some answers, but the answers are really only going to come from the mediation and the judge.

I don't remember, but are you doing this without a lawyer?

Have you filed a motion for Sole Physical custoday since the 50/50 earlier this year?

I can't remember what others have said, but I'd look into filing for Sole Physical Custody now if you haven't already.

Keep us posted.

YES!!! i did file for a SOLE PHYSICAL CUSTODY thats why we're going for another mediation and trial after..this time Im not going to be the Mr. Niceguy who gives way to all her request, I will be firm on my sole physical custody and then ask the judge to review my child support order coz its to high and i have the kids 100% of the time..all i know is she's trying to screw me up and the kids by asking or taking money from me for the support..my PLAN-B is is the child support is still gonna be still the same $850/month i will tell her ok u want that money? take care of the kids and house them, take them to school and maintain their current lifestyle, with that rediculous amount of support i wont be able to pay our rent, i rented this place coz its the best environment for kids, best school district, best neighbors and neigborhood, 2 miles away from my work etc..if the judge didnt change the support order, i got myself ready and prepared for the worse which is give her the kids and i will just take them on the weekends and holidays and i will move to a lower rent area that i can afford..feel free to respond or comment on my case..thanks in advance...i really dont want to lose custody of my kids but the support is killing me and they dont even wanna go with her or even see her at all...

[tgastte]

Whats next?? i just got a letter from my payroll department and they're taking away $854 a month on my paycheck for the temporary child support..that is so rediculous..she hasnt even seen the kids or took care of them..I still have them from day one she took off 4 yrs ago...i have a mediation on nov 20th and trial on dec 11th, can the judge order to return all the money that she recieved coz she didnt take care of the kids..this is my and the kids rent money...im so lost with this..pls help!!!

[MrCustodyCoach]

Given the circumstances you describe, you ask for the whole ball of wax (sole physical custody) with detailed provisions for generous time to mother.  You can even go as far as to provide for regular revisits to review the custody arrangement based upon significant, positive changes in circumstances for mom.

Don't go in asking for less than what you have now.  That would be a tremendous mistake under the circumstances.