BM threatening contempt for returning the child as ordered!

[eagleeyefam]

Long story as short as possible. BM/BD joint legal, joint physical with BM being primary physical. BM lives in Cali, BD lives in Idaho. Schedule is set for 1 week a month in Idaho with BD. Child is 2 1/2. Courts did not recognize his age as "tender" on the fact that a child needs both parents in life. 1 week a month is set until  mediation rolls around again and discussion of extending time is discussed. (hence court on Monday)

One catch to all of it. Dad pays 100% of travel. Mode of transportation will be agreed upon between the parents. If mode of transportation can not be agreed on, then an airline ticket must be purcahsed. Ahhhhh the loophole for BM. BM refuses to ever let BD pick up the child via car. It's flight and flight only. Flight to pick up, flight to return. And now that the child is over the age of 2 that's 3 round trip airline tickets a month. BM pays nothing. No big deal. Driving is a fraction of the cost.(travel clause is one major reason there is court monday)

One time BD was in Cali planning to return to Idaho with child for his scheduled week, which was agreed upon months prior. BM refused the time based on the fact BD was not flying back to Idaho with the child. Child is not allowed to ride in a car with dad according to BM

So this trip, BD flew to Cali, picked up son. Flew back to Idaho. Explained to BM since court is Monday and child is to be returned Saturday, then we will leave for Cali a day early in order to make sure child is returned to BM on Saturday.

BM FLIPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Has now threatend to hold in contempt based on the fact the child was returned to her via car and not flight. HUH!!! The child is returned!!! Is there some mystical magical powers awarded to BM after a child gets off a plane? If so there are a bunch of moms missing out!

and the nightmare begins. BD will be held in contempt for returning the child at the court appointed time, just not by BM's instistant flight. hmmm. I don't get it.

BM can get away with denial of custodial time, be absolutely uncooperative with anything, lie in court, but BVD returns the child as ordered to and he's the bad guy? Explain this to me!!!

BD has 4 different contempt charges ready to file but has chosen not to. BD does not want to hinder BM's life in any way. BD is a fair man but gettign stomped on for being the nice guy. He is a great dad. For a year and a half now the child has been coming to Idaho to spend 1 week a month with dad. Each trip has been a fight with BM. And they justget worse with each month. They wer enever married, paternity established, even a judge has told her to be more agreeable. Until that order is changed for the travel she will fight. I just don't get it.

[CuriousMom]

I personally think car vs. air is incredibly trivial but sounds like she wants things her way or no way.  Hopefully it gets ironed out on Monday.

[gemini3]

Let her file for contempt.  I seriously doubt that she'll win.  It says "parties will agree on mode of transportation".  Not that BM gets to dictate mode of transportation.  He should bring documentation that he has requested to drive x amount of times and that BM as never agreed.

In the meantime, your husband (boyfriend?) should ask for modification.  The financial requirements to exercise visitation should not be so great as to make it impossible to do so.  Also, if it's required that he foot the bill for all transportation then he should also get to decide on the mode of transportation.  AND it says that parties must agree - not "BM gets to choose".

However, he does not "have" to buy 3 round trip tickets a month.  I only see a need for 2 - his and the child's.  Once the child reaches the age of 5 he will only need to purchase one for an unaccompanied minor.

[tigger]

However, he does not "have" to buy 3 round trip tickets a month.  I only see a need for 2 - his and the child's.  Once the child reaches the age of 5 he will only need to purchase one for an unaccompanied minor.

If I understand correctly here are the three round trip tickets
1 -- dad from Idaho to Cali to pick up and bring back child
1 -- child from cali to idaho and back again
1-- dad to take child from Idaho back to Cali and then he goes back to Idaho solo

[eagleeyefam]

Tigger has it correct. 1 round trip for dad to get to cali and back, 1 round trip for child, 1 round trip to return child. Total of 3. If he was still a lap child it would only be 2

[gemini3]

duh.    sorry about that!

[ocean]

She cant file contempt until after something happens and you have court first thing on Monday so...she would have to have a lawyer do it or go herself after. The WORST thing that would happen is that your DH will be told not to do it again BUT you have the law on your side this time. I would OVERNIGHT a letter to her with signature that states according to the court order you can drive the child home, especially since you have to be in court on Monday. I would also state the dates and times that you already notified her of the change.

Suggestion, next time dont tell her so early...lol. But this should be addressed on Monday anyway...

[eagleeyefam]

She cant file contempt until after something happens and you have court first thing on Monday so...she would have to have a lawyer do it or go herself after. The WORST thing that would happen is that your DH will be told not to do it again BUT you have the law on your side this time. I would OVERNIGHT a letter to her with signature that states according to the court order you can drive the child home, especially since you have to be in court on Monday. I would also state the dates and times that you already notified her of the change.

Suggestion, next time dont tell her so early...lol. But this should be addressed on Monday anyway...

Wouldn't have told her but she has been demanding the return info since Saturday morning at 6:30am. She started the texting. Then the emails. ANd now it's a huge mess. Hopefully monday will change all of the travel clause.

[CuriousMom]

I interpreted it as if they couldn't agree on a mode of transportation, then air travel had to be done - fully at father's expense.

[ocean]

I agree with you but what is BM going to say in court? Well, I wanted him to fly her home instead of drive even if we had court and he had to stay in hometown?  I think it was supposed to protect the father because then it would be put on him to get flights and not BM to play games....