Just got out of court here in NY....

[NYParent]

Hi everyone.

So I just got out of court here in NY.  There's not much to update on, but I though I'd let you guys know what happened.  NY judge spoke to TX judge.  NY judge not ready to make a decision on the jurisdiction of the case because he needed to still work out certain things with the other judge (whatever the h*** that means...sorry I'm a bit frustrated).  No temporary orders....according to judge that will be handled in the next court date.

On another note, BM did not show up.  BM made a major mistake in her filing (don't want to give too much details, you never know how's reading).  This was the SECOND court date she didn't show up for.  Of course the judge was furious!!!  He looked like he was ready to blow!  I also told him that BM was blocking my access to my child.  Told him that according to BM, NY doesn't have jurisdiction over her or the case, so there's no need for her to follow the NY CO (well that sure got the Judge PO).  So now I have to go back to court in early Dec.  Judge did not give me another summon to serve BM with (good because I've paid to have it done twice) instead the Judge said that he would personally take care of ordering that BM was present and had an attorney with her on our next court date.

I am frustrated that this is taking so long, because in the meantime I am not having enough time with my child and my holiday visitations are being threatened.  In a way it was good that BM didn't show up again, the judge got to see for himself the kind of defiant attitude she has.  So for now I just have to try to stay focused on my child and the bigger picture which is getting more time with the child.

Once my other court date comes through, I will once again update the situation.  I really hope that the judge here in NY decides to keep jurisdiction.

[asof2005]

good luck to you.  yeah BM not showing up definitely doesn't hurt your case.

[Kitty C.]

I don't want to read too much into this, but with another court date in early December, I would venture to say that this judge might be very inclined to give you a very large portion of the Christmas vacation this year, if not all of it.  Doesn't do much for Thanksgiving, but you have to look at this long term.  Be willing to give up a little now for a LOT later. 

It would be nice if you coule get back in to court before Thanksgiving, but between the full dockets and the judge having to notify the BM, there probably wasn't time.  She probably will pitch a fit because she will say she doesn't have enough time to get an atty.  You're damn lucky the judge willingly took that over, because there's no way she can talk back to him!

[NYParent]

Kitty C- Yes, he did say that he wanted me back at that time so that I can make my holiday plans with the child.  Our current CO has the holiday scheduled, and I'm supposed to have X-mas this year, but of course BM is being very vindictive and saying that I can only have the child x-mas DAY and nothing more (although I am the one who always travels to see the child and would be traveling to TX specifically for that).  When I told the judge that he said no, no, and said that it would be settled in the next court date.

Asof2005- Thanks!  Yeah, BM is definitely helping my case with her attitude.

[Kitty C.]

You have a PM........

[MixedBag]

sometimes baby steps are really giant steps in disguise and they lay a good foundation for the future.

[NYParent]

MB- You're right!  I guess I just had to go through the emotions of the day.  I went with the idea that jurisdiction was finally going to get settled or that temporary orders would be set. 

Does anyone know how many no shows a parent is allowed to have before the courts do something more drastic than simply summon?  I mean BM didn't show and there was no attorney to represent her either....this is #2 for her.  I guess things are getting more drastic since the judge said he was going to take care of it himself but I guess I wanted a general idea of what could be the next step if she decides not to show again?  The judge said she no longer had the option of simply sending an attorney, that she had to SHOW UP with an attorney.  Could I possibly get temporary custody of my child at this point?

[ocean]

If she doesn't show then you can ask for whatever and it will probably be granted. He really cant make her get a lawyer though...You can represent yourself. Does she have a TX lawyer?

[NYParent]

Ocean- Yes, she does have an attorney in TX.  She also had an attorney in NY during our initial custody hearings.  When I began the modification process the judge told me that both parent had to hire and attorney or try to get a court appointed if possible.

[ocean]

Judges rather deal with two lawyers then us...LOL.  Our BM went through 3 lawyers and represented herself at the end. It is harder to make deals with uncontrollable people so they try to make you get a lawyer.