First visitation

[mdegol]

Your approach has been very noble, but you are simply running into the same problems that everyone seems to run into at some point.  You guys broke up for a reason and aren't going to be on the same page. 

That's why it is best for you not to know all the little details, because something will tick you off (just like if I knew all the details, I would get ticked off, bedtime issues or where they go, diet issues ect....).  In the beginning it drove me nuts (my child was just a baby so I couldn't ask him and BF would never say anything except that everything was wonderful).  It was good though, because I learned not to worry about what he was doing or knowing any details.  It is actually a big stress reliever to let go of the control.  Because the truth is: you have absolutely no control over his parenting time.  You really don't.  The more you try to control, the less you will have.  Once you accept this, the situation will vastly improve emotionally. 

Just like you had to figure it out, he has to figure it out for himself.  He either will, or he won't.  I wouldn't call at this point, let him call and let him know that you need a schedule that your daughter can rely on.  Time to get the little bird (him) out of your nest, and parent separately.  And get it down on paper so that there are no arguments.