Can I move again?

[reshawn]

Here's the situation, I've always had physical and legal custody of my eight year old daughter.  Two years ago a home evaluator came in because I suspected sexual abuse on my daughters father part (he had visitation with her).  The evaluation was completly against him, and supported what I was saying...  He had supervised visitation at a center, stopped coming, never heard from him until two years later when I got served papers to give him visitation.  I had a crappy lawyer because she wanted to settle instead of letting the judge rule, so we have a parenting plan that gives him every other weekend, mainly because psychiatrist said she was to young for therahy, she had been abused but it was to hard to pin point who...

So fast forward, he starts seeing her, and a couple of months later me and my husband want to move to Alabama, to make a better life so we thought, he agreed with us leaving and sent for her during holidays, we only stayed for nine months because the economy was even worse than where we are from, Maryland.  We came back to Maryland, no jobs and no place, staying with family....  Now we have to leave where we were staying and are facing becoming homeless, our only option is to move to Florida (currently in Maryland) but I'm worried that this will cause my daughter's father to drag me in court screaming I'm unstable...

Not ot mention in January I ship out for the US Army, and within six months from then I'll have a new duty station...

So am I risking everything going to Florida but not having my family homeless?

Do I appear unstable and unfit?

[ocean]

If you have sole custody then you dont need his permission. Look at your papers and see if you have to ask the courts permission to move. I would think if you are military, then it wont be perceived as crazy as military families move. Offer the same schedule he got while you were out of state again.

I would be careful though because FLA can not take over the court case unless you live there more than 6 months. And then you are going away...where will the child stay? Can father take her while you are away...? He may be able to get custody while you are away if you dont address it now in court. Once you are gone, he can ask for temporary custody of her.

[reshawn]

I'm married with four other children and accordingus to the military I don't need a family care plan because custody stays with my now husband, whose raised her since she was 1, she knows him better than her own father.... 

My concern is that me going to florida now helps us to not be homeless, but might gine my daughter's father reason to drag me in court and either make me come back or postpone my move.... my mother in law has a 6 bedroom house that she's offered us to live in , rent free, until I get my duty station (six months down the line)...

[reshawn]

Oh and as far as what does my order say, it's something to the effect that we'll agree on any moves out of state.... I'll get the exact wording tonight...

[Davy]

I disagree with the statement "If you have sole custody then you dont need his permission " (to move to another state).

I seriously doubt if such a statement is written into any legal statue anywhere.  That's not to say that such an issue has not become a social policy somewhere and other legal stop gap measures exist to help prevent such removables.

In consideration the child was previously robbed of a relationship with the other parent along with the clearly unstable  living arrangement ... past, present and proposed future it is my IMHO a very favorable parental access plan should be coordinated FOR the child with the potential left behind parent.  No games. No government intervention.

[ocean]

If she had Sole custody with no provision of not moving in her orders then she can without breaking any laws. I do not agree with the military person who told her she didnt need new orders when she left though...I would double check that... Leaving child with step father who has no legal rights in court will allow the father to come and ask for temporary custody. He would have to prove it is best to for child to live with him during that time but it has been done.

[MixedBag]

I have to agree with Davy -- the moving stuff is going to be located in the state's code and not in the individual's decree.

The individual won't need a family care plan because she is married, period.  It doesn't matter to the military if that spouse is a biological parent or a step-parent -- retired military here and that's how it was during the 20 years I was on active duty.

Now -- back to the moving issue, jurisidiction, and stuff.

If the bio-dad to the child did not leave the original jurisdiction (Maryland), then even if the mother moves with the child (around the world), Maryland will retain jurisdiction until the father moves out of the area.  (IMHO -- I am no attorney, k?!)

If Mom has a signed contract to enter the military in January, here's what I suggest.

1.  File now to get permission from the courts to "move in conjuction with your military career" and use that signed contract as your "significant change in circumstances" to justify going back to court.

2.  Work with dad on coming to an agreement for a long distance plan.

Personally -- and again I'm no attorney -- since Mom has had custody, since dad has previously agreed to a move either through court or his actions, I think the court will let Mom move.

I also suggest that as the child gets older, as the time with dad goes well without incident, that Mom consider more frequent and longer periods of time with dad -- particularly if dad asks.

And Mom, hire an awesome attorney.  Once you leave, you will be on active duty and the SSCRA will protect you some, but not totally, from going back to court.  So -- do the right thing, ask now, get the ball rolling now, and if this isn't settled by the time you leave, make 100% sure your attorney knows how to contact you and what you want and stuff.  You may be able to appear by phone to get this solved. 

[reshawn]

Thanks for all the great advice

I read my order and it says that if the mother or father wishes to move and the parenting plan can not be executed as set forth the moving parent must provide 30 days notice to the other parent and the parents must come up with a replacement plan or use mediation before coming to court....

[Davy]

I have to agree with MB (ha !)

And further the bio parent would not have to prove anything if the child is left with the SF simply because the SF is not the parent and absolutely has no standing for custodial rights and may even be considered abandment.

Sole custody may allow relocating within a jurisdiction but Maryland statues do not apply in the anartic.

I hope this enlistment is at an officer pay grade.

[MixedBag]

Then Mom, get the ball rolling and send dad a notice and proposed offer on how you think it would be best for the child.

Davy -- have to disagree about that abandonment thought.  If Mom enlists in the military, those laws and stuff will immediately kick in and with the "trend" today to protect a person who is serving, I doubt the dad will get far in court.....because the SSCRA stuff will also kick in.  Mom just needs to leave step-dad with a power of attorney just in case.