BM In Contempt, What's The Punishment And Is It Worth Pursuing?

[evalisto2005]

 I learned that a stipulation entered by agreement through a mediator was entered after BM wanted me to think that it wasn't.

She is to inform me immediately of any medical attention that my son needs, receives, will be receiving, etc. She refused to do that and still refuses, thinking that I have no say so because she is the custodial parent. The stipulation that was ordered along with me being able to get all documention of my son getting medical attention can maybe only go so far because BM can lie and say that she told me. However, she said in a voice mail that if I wanted to find out anything I could just drive (4 hour round trip depending on traffic) to my son's doctor and get the documentation (for 10-20 dollars per page) when she could just tell me, and is court ordered to tell me what is going on with my son's health and all medial attention that he gets.

But she is so vindictive that if my lawyer files something for contempt, BM will start dragging things out again to make sure that other parts of the case drag out or go no where while I'm spending enough money to buy a new car.

I don't want BM to suffer, but no one is above the law. If I did what she did I would be locked up. It's up to my lawyer to decide on whether or not to pursue this. But if it is pursued, BM will not agree to anything (mediation for custody and visitation is not done yet and of course my lawyer and I want BM to agree on as many things as possible).

Sorry that I'm too worked up to make much sense but please feel free to post advice, your thoughts, or anything. Thank you in advance.

[Ref]

everyone including our shrink, Soc and our lawyer said to forget about contempt. We have letters written by her and voicemails too stating that she wasn't going to give any of that information.

Chalk it up to her being a b*tch and move on. The only way you might need to pursue this is if your child has a serious injury or illness. I would save the retainer money and use it on a great gift or college money for your kid.

My Sd is 15. Most of the advice that we recieved was to keep in contact w/ SD and ask her directly. If your child is a teen, this may work for you. If not, keep in touch with his Dr as much as possible.

Good Luck
ref

[evalisto2005]

I figured that but I had to ask.

My son is 3. He had serious developmental delays because [admittedly] BM didn't even work on his speech or play with him much until after he was 2. Alot of special schooling and therapy was strongly suggested but BM doesn't want there to be anything else showing that he has problems because she doesn't want to look bad. My son needs a hearing test before any one can do further speech therapy and other follow up evals but BM won't get that done. His doctor ordered an echocardiogram to see if his heart murmur would require surgery but she won't get the test done. My lawyer is alreqady working on getting the special schooling and everything court ordered. BM has to be given some time to respond though.

Thanks for the comments and bst of luck to you too.

[Kboeds]

I agree with Ref, but I would add that you do not need to drive and get medical records in person. My DH and I have always done it by mail with his children who live out of state. Doctors don't like being put in the middle of ex disputes so I wouldn't go into all of that with them.
Write a letter requesting records for the specific dates you need. If that is years worth then ask for 1990 to current. Don't say anything about beign charged. Just end the request with telling them if they have any questions to contact you and provide a phone number, email address and mailing address.

We have had some doctors charge us and others have not. If there is a per page charge I can't see it being 15 or 20 dollars a page. That sounds like someone thinks you'll believe anything she tells you.

If the Doctor is going to charge you then they will either call you or write you and let you know how much it is and should tell you approximately how many pages you can plan to pay for. I would also make a call to the doctor and simply tell him or her that you are very concerned about your child and want to know if he or she would mind you calling to keep up on things since your ex wont.

[dipper]

Hi, just wanted to say that there is a form letter on this site for receiving medical information - similar to the letters regarding school information.

My dh has used this both and gotten information requested.  Usually there is a fee for copies, but very minimal - like 50 cents a page.  We too know that to find the truth, you have to look deeper.  For example, when ss was in hospital, dh was told that doctor said he would  not be able to travel here.  We left a note for doctor -and he signed saying that there were no travel restrictions.  Also, we requested all hospital and doctor notes as she kept saying that ss was not allowed to be in sun at all.  Truth - ss simply needed to wear sunbloc while outside.

You do not have to actually drive to the doctor's office - send a letter requesting information.  Like I said, the most we paid was around $7 and that was for a stack of hospital records....

Best wishes...

[MixedBag]

I think BM is blowing smoke (or maybe smoking) when she said what she did about $15-$20 per page.

And with what Ref said -- chalk it up to her being a witch, and press on.

Skip the contempt filing BUT keep all the documentation.

It might be a good subject to address when Mom doesn't allow you the time you're supposed to have with your child.  THEN you add the doctor's stuff on to that but don't file for a contempt on it's own merit.

[marnbuk]

If you have the child regularly then you can take child for the screenings he needs. If you get him for the summer visit then set it up then. Another way to get medical records free of charge is to set him up with a doctor in your area when you have him. Have that doctor fax a request for records. It is a good idea regardless to get child established with a doctor in your area because if he gets sick or hurt when you have him you wont have to go through the mess of finding one or using ER.