Medical care by NCP

[jgaff78]

I am not completely sure what the laws are when it comes to custody and providing medical care to the child. My stepdaughter's mom has full custody since she had moved 1000 miles away prior to their divorce. At the time, the court and both parents thought it was the only way to arrange custody due to the distance. We are interested in changing it to at least joint custody but have not filed any paperwork as of yet.

My question though is whether we can take SD to a doctor or counselor when she is with us for visitation or do we have to have BM's permission? The reason I ask is that SD is 8 and has not been to a dentist yet. She has a major gap between her two front teeth and she also has sensitive teeth. We want to take her to a dentist to start her regular checkups and make sure she doesn't have any cavities or anything. We also wanted to be able to take her to a doctor when she is with us in order to make sure she gets her flu shots and things like that. Plus we thought it might be a good idea to have her established with a doctor here in case she gets sick during her visitation times with us. I have been trying to figure out how to get her set up with a counselor for the last couple of years since I feel like BM causes a lot of stress for her when she argues with us or talks bad about us in front of SD. I just think SD would benefit from having someone neutral to talk to about how she feels without worrying that it will get back to either parent.


Do any other long-distance parents have doctors/dentists set up for their children? I would appreciate some advice on how to handle the situation if anybody has any experience with a similar scenario.

[MixedBag]

I am/was/am again long distance to my son.

When he was younger, YES, I'm the first one who took him to a dentist and then I let dad know.

Joint custody here -- and the time at the dentist was to benefit our son.

So....I suggest where you can, set up an appointment for time the child spends with you -- and yeppers, this may have to be planned well, and do what you can and tell Mom the results.

[jgaff78]

We have a wonderful children's dentist in our town. I'm sure I can manage to get her an appointment sometime during the summer when she is with us. If she does have any cavities or issues that require more visits, her mom will probably need to take care of it since she has limited time here with us. But at least we know she will get the initial check up and then BM will be forced to take care of it or it will be considered neglect.

I have asked BM many times this year if SD is going to get the flu shot for seasonal flu and for swine flu. BM keeps saying she is going to do it but she can't get her to the doctor. SD told me last summer that her mom said she can't afford to take her to the dentist. There's just always flimsy excuses for why she doesn't take her to the doctor or dentist when she should. If BM worked a normal job, I might understand not being able to get SD to the doctor easily. But BM has every Friday off and doesn't start working until 11am, so she has plenty of time to set up a doctor's appointment. And since our insurance provides all of SD's annual cleanings, etc free of charge, the excuse of not being able to afford the dentist doesn't fly either. I'm just glad to know that we are able to take her to the doctor and dentist so we can take charge of her medical care.

[ocean]

I would send her a letter or email stating you are willing to set up the dental appts this summer and take care of it, to please let her know if this would be a problem. I would not start routine work if she is that far away.
Be careful with the dental insurance. I know ours,...it you start at one dentist that is who they cover and you cant change or if something falls out (cavity) then you have to go back to THAT dentist.

Since she has sole custody, you really should not be bringing her for routine things (of course if she is sick). If mom is not taking care of medical issues that is when you can get it changed due to medical neglect. Best bet is to see if mom will agree for you guys to do the once a year checkup when she is with you...