Stress

[oneaddress]

I would like to know how some parents deal with the constant stress and strain of court issues. I know that my journey has been very short compared to others.

[Kitty C.]

Stress??  What stress??    

All kidding aside...............I've learned the hard way, because stress manifests itself physically with me and I never know what symptom I'm gonna get: hives, zits (even pushing 50!), weight loss (not anymore! ), IBS, just to name a few.

You HAVE to take time for yourself and be good to yourself.  I've watched people run themselves in the ground with stress and worry and I tell them the same lesson I learned:  How can you take care of someone else if you don't take care of yourself?  So often, people feel guilty for being selfish and taking time for themselves, but it's the best gift you can give yourself.  So that's what one needs to think about..........if the stress, anxiety, and worry debilitates you in some way, what good are you to anyone else?  Be good to yourself so that you can help others.

[ocean]

I agree with Kitty...
We also had set times we dealt with court issues and it was time limited so it didnt take over OUR house. I was more nutty then DH and he just kept repeating we cant let the BM take over our lives... So agree that after court you can debrief for an hour then that is out...go out to dinner, take a bath, something... Also tell you family that you dont want it brought up every time you see them ..that you need time to just be normal. Give them updates by email so they know becasue Im sure they care but then have your family time too.
Good luck!

[MixedBag]

I'm with Kitty on this one...

weight loss....

upset stomachs out of no where...

too many trips to the bathroom....

deodorant fails to work.....

Oh -- BAD hair day guaranteed....so I just put it up and say "forget it", I win

night mares.....

[mdegol]

Hmm, seems like I didn't handle it too well.   Couldn't even drive past the courthouse for 4 months.  But the biggest problem was lack of support.  Tell your doctor what you are going through.  Get help.  See a psychologist (behavioral is best for dealing with stress).  And I agree deeply with others, don't let it take over your life (easier said than done).  Don't talk about it all the time, constantly updating family and friends (there is a fine line between support and wallowing in it).  Need to get it into the background.  We worry about the worst, but keep in mind the actual probability of it happening.  *Try* to keep your perspective.  *Try* to enjoy your life still.  It will get better once a status quo is established.  It is the beginning court stuff that is the worst (at least in my experience).

[oneaddress]

I know that I must find balance, because I have been letting the court matters fill every minute of the spare time in my life. This weekend, I will try a little de-stressing (after I find what will help).  It helps to talk to others who know the stress of what goes on in family court. Thanks group for your positive comments.

[MixedBag]

"in family court"  the biggest biggest challenge is to remain CALM and to keep a poker face.

No fidgeting...

No rolling of the eyes (yep, did that and didn't even REALIZE that until the judge was yelling at me for it!)

No smirking....

No staring down the other parent....

no stuttering

no yelling

stick to facts and have the facts backed by hard/touchable evidence where possible.