Unwed Father About to seperate -- Ohio

[steelglass06]

Hi,

My current situation is this.  My daughter is nearly 17 months old and now her mother and I are probably going to separate.  We aren't getting along and her mother seems hell bent on trying to make me suffer with my only child for it.

She insists now that she's only going to let me see my daughter every other weekend.  I don't see how that can possibly be fair to me or to my daughter and I know that she is only doing this to be spiteful and vengeful. 

What are my rights?  We're still living together now in an apartment that we share, but she says that she will be moving out in just a couple of weeks.  Our lease ends at the end of march and I'm assuming that I'll get stuck paying the rent when she leaves too.

I'm scared to death that I'm not going to get to see my daughter enough.  I'm scared for myself and for her.  I'm a good father.  I love spending time with her and playing with her and being with her.  I know that she needs that and I know that its important for a child to have time with both of her parents.  If my soon-to-be ex gets her way she will shut me out of my daughters life.  What DO I DO?! 

I feel helpless right now and I feel like there is nothing that I can do.  I hear so many horror stories of fathers being denied equal access to their children.  And I want to be around and I want to be in her life as much as possible.  I know that it won't work for either her mother or myself for me to come and visit every day.  But it seems fair and and responsible for me to atleast get to see my child every couple of days.  Please help me.  Thank you

-Andrew in Cleveland

[ocean]

File in family court first for JOINT custody and Shared Parenting plan.
Joint custody has to do with legal stuff (dr appointments, schooling)
Parenting plan is the time you get with your child (ask for the moon...see what you can get...work around work schedules)

Start documenting on when you have child alone, pick up from daycare, take to dr. Take a CPR class and parenting class (it looks very well in court).

You can file yourself and read this site for more info.

You can try one last ditch effort and pull out a calendar with mother and see what you can work out for the next few months. See if you both sign it... wont hold up in court but something ...shows you are trying. There are also mediation places you can go to and try to work it out before court.

Usually the LEAST you will get is every other weekend, one or two days during the week, alternate vacations/holidays, and a few weeks in the summer. What you decided now will be FOREVER>>> hard to change so think of school age and what you will do on school breaks...you can add a section for when child gets to be school aged and add time during breaks.

[bloom6372]

I have to agree. You need to start documenting everything now. The documentation could be used in court. Just make sure that she doesn't know where you keep it (so she can't do anything to it). Try to come up with reasons it's best to keep your daughter more than EOWE (your relationship, how often you provide her care now, etc). Try to get 50/50 legal and physical custody (if she's moving close by this will be best). I'd also make sure that before she moves out you get all this started with the courts. Make a plan for the future, so that the court sees that you are looking ahead (you can split up your proposed parenting plan to be for 5 and under, elementary school age, middle school age, and high school age). Make your proposed plan as detailed as possible so that there is no "wiggle room" for the soon to be ex if your plan is granted in court. And make sure in that parenting plan to state that the child CANNOT move more than 20-30 miles without the consent of the other parent or the court, so that she can't just take your child and force you to lose time. I know it seems like a short distance, but the further away she's allowed to go, the less time you'll get with your daughter. Good luck!

File in family court first for JOINT custody and Shared Parenting plan.
Joint custody has to do with legal stuff (dr appointments, schooling)
Parenting plan is the time you get with your child (ask for the moon...see what you can get...work around work schedules)

Start documenting on when you have child alone, pick up from daycare, take to dr. Take a CPR class and parenting class (it looks very well in court).

You can file yourself and read this site for more info.

You can try one last ditch effort and pull out a calendar with mother and see what you can work out for the next few months. See if you both sign it... wont hold up in court but something ...shows you are trying. There are also mediation places you can go to and try to work it out before court.

Usually the LEAST you will get is every other weekend, one or two days during the week, alternate vacations/holidays, and a few weeks in the summer. What you decided now will be FOREVER>>> hard to change so think of school age and what you will do on school breaks...you can add a section for when child gets to be school aged and add time during breaks.

[Kitty C.]

If she wants to move out, that's fine..............just tell her that your daughter stays, so as not to disrupt her stability.  Then if she tells you that YOU have to move out, tell her no............she is the one who wants the divorce, so she can be the one to leave. 

Stand your ground..........