Parenting Time: she switched her decision, mid stream

[kevinA]

Massachusetts

My wife and I are divorcing. ( 12.5 yr marriage, (2) children (7 & 9 yrs. old), No spousal abuse, she left the marriage, She makes over

110,000 and I make 60,000 per year, I cared for my kids when she worked odd hours)

In September, our lawyers were drafting a separation agreement (we didn't agree on several points, so we were still hashing out the

points).
The latest revision of that draft (written by her attorney) showed a parenting schedule that allowed me equal time (53% with her / 47%

with me) with our children AND stated I would be getting child support from her.

Note: During this time & before any agreement was met, she was also trying to finance a new house contingent on using the equity of my

refinancing the marital home. I wasn't moving because the agreement was not finalized.
Well, because of the time it was taking to finalize our separation agreement, she got tired of waiting & dropped out of these "back &

forth" negotiations and served me a complaint for divorce. This now showed a reduction of my parenting time (she ignored the 'draft'

schedule) & was asking for child support from me. (She later admitted to me she HAD to do this in order to get approved for the

financing on her new house.)

We went to court for the child time, because she was having her mother watch the children while she worked, instead of me. I "won" the

court case, basically the judge just quoted the Support Guidelines from Massachusetts. I got the kids when she was working, however she

has now changed her work schedule to take this time away from me.

Now, the un-agreed upon schedule is 60/40...& she is still pursuing child support from me.

I've been an involved father, whole day's involved with my children.
I don't think she has been thinking in the best interest of the children, starting with her affair!

What do you feel my rights are?
Does the draft separation agreement hold any value in court for showing an acceptable parenting schedule?
Obviously, I would need support from her to balance out the future obligations we will have for supporting the children and the
children's home.
Any strategy suggestions?

Thanks

[gemini3]

So, the last time you were in court, what were the judges orders regarding parenting time?

[kevinA]

 
The Judge basically said to "Follow parenting schedule" (of which there was none agreed on, that's why I was there!!...) She unilaterally decided on the children's schedule. I have been emailing her since September expressing my discontent and giving her alternatives to her "complaints" (we live 2 miles apart & she states that it is "wearing" for them (((being in the house they have grown up in! )))

She has been controlling & angry to deal with during this divorce (Just like our marriage!)

What should I suggest to my lawyer for the next step?

[ocean]

Do you have another court date or open case now?

In the papers you have (from last time or any time) does it ever spell out parenting time? It just says follow parent schedule and does not list anything? vacations? summer? nothing??

[kevinA]

Do you have another court date or open case now?

In the papers you have (from last time or any time) does it ever spell out parenting time? It just says follow parent schedule and does not list anything? vacations? summer? nothing??

No open cases ((yet .....?)), just the pretrial is scheduled.

In the "divorce agreement" we were working on, it states "We will have shared legal & physical custody of our children..." and the "parenting time" was spelled out, with the "when mom is scheduled to work" in the draft (which was the situation for years prior).

In her 'responsive motion for temporary orders' (<<the order's I sought to get my children,  while she was working  ==see Court for child time in my first post===), she states that she "didn't think it was working out" (& makes false accusations regarding my compliance to the parenting plan listed in the "divorce agreement" (<<<My lawyer submitted email proof in my defense to the court....this wasn't mentioned in the court case) & has now unilaterally changed the children's schedule to be with her now that she changed her schedule @ work. All this without regard to the parenting plan we had been setting up.

This situation still frustrates me, as I can't afford to keep running to court & I'm a still upset for not seeing the my kids on the weekday schedule we had for years (during the marriage).

[ocean]

If there is no orders, you have to wait it out. Family court is very slow..process can take a year or more especially if she is fighting everything. If she is now not working then usually she will keep them. You should keep that clause in the final papers in case her schedule changes again.

Is she allowing the every other weekend? Are you seeing them at all? My guess is she talked to a lawyer and said if you "let" him have them that much it will be a 50/50 situation and no child support so go to the standard plan of every other weekend. BUT even that plan has a midweek visit.

Does she have a lawyer? Call/write him and ask for a temporary proposal...look up your state min standard plan, ask for that plus some extra and see if the lawyer will get her to agree until trial. Also, ask for a few weeks this summer because it does not sound like you are close to finishing if she does not agree.

You can write her a short email first and see if that works...

Ex,
Ever since we separated, I had the kids on XX days. Now that you switched your work schedule, I loose time with them. Can we compromise and figure this out together instead of paying lawyers/court fees to do this. I'd rather spend the money on the kids. Below are a few proposals, see what you think and if you can come up with different one, please let me know. If we work a near 50/50 schedule, I will not ask for child support from you and make it 0. We can split all out of pocket medical/dental and school activities 60/40 as that is what our salaries show currently. I want to stay an involved father and work things out with you instead of the courts ruling and we are both unhappy and down thousands of dollars.
Thanks
You

YOu can add a line and offer mediation instead of trial....and if it goes well in mediation you will drop the trial.

[kevinA]

Yes, she has a lawyer. I have gotten the stbEX to a 45% with me / 55% w/ her parenting plan (Alternating 2 week schedule w/50% overnights with each of us). It's getting there, but I still don't think it is the best plan for the children. mostly centered around weekends with me, weekdays with her)

I can't keep running to court, and don't want to spend the money.  I'd like my parenting plan looked at by the judge, mine is closer to how we raised them when she worked until late during a few night during the week days and it would decrease the children's 'time away from either parent'.)
How can I get my wishes in so the judge can look at what I feel is an acceptable parenting plan?

Thanks