Confiscated Hidden recording device

[RoosterC]

Facts: After instigating a false emotional abuse claim (dismissed by county) ex alternated witholding custody contact (documented) with what seemed at the time to be very odd phone contact. Some calls even sounded like a machine in the background, when I mentioned this and even asked  "are you recording me?" the noise would stop after a rustling or the call would cut off.
When I fanally did get kids back by pressing custody order to local police, things seemed ok, we didnt dwell on what was going on, just rried to get back to 'life'.
Next morning, see shape outline in son's pants, after nervous defensive reaction to question, he hands over a very very small concealed recording device which he explains his mother gave him to try to record any reaction I had to the false charges; he said he felt uncomfortable with doing this especially after the false charges, (the previous evening his mother evidently said to give the recorder to his siter if he "didnt have the guts"
Funny, there was nothing to tape, 5 minutes of calm conversation, reassurances that Id do all I could to make things OK again, and then homework and dinner, a movie and off to bed.
On the tape I discovered Id been taped for quite some time (illegal in my state) and that those phone conversations that felt 'funny' were prepped and recorded by mom. Again, oddly, nothing Id be ashamed of beyond how terribly like Mr Rogers I sound when I talk to my kids.
But ALSO on the recorder were recordings made by ex's live in boyfriend with his (still current) wife. Details include incidents requiring rehab, leaving rehab, mention of 'drug counselor' and claims he does not drink anymore (I have oodles of evidence he still does)
My lawyer seems inclined to think this is our nuclear option in the custody battle ex has brought to me with same emotional abuse charges that county debunked.
How can I insure those recordings (alchohol tapes) get heard? they are relevant to whats going on in that house, right?
Im not donald trump, do I need to get all this transcribed or just keep the recorder?
Should I try to get criminal charges while or after the case for the hidden recordings?
How do you get the evaluator to acknowlege or listen to this thing?
Thanks
PS- when this is all over, Ill share what Ive learned to help the next batch of parents, promise!

[ocean]

I am not a lawyer ...This is what my DH did.
Keep recorder in device and put tape in a safe. You need to prove that you were the only one with access and you did not change the tape.
When we got to court, we handed it to the security guard and he put it into evidence. Then when the trial started, they officer went and got tape to play. Make sure you have a device so the judge could hear it (loud enough).

His lawyer asked him:
How did you tape this?
Who had access to this tape afterwards?
Where was it kept?
Was it ever altered?

The tape was played...

Her lawyer asked:
Is he an expert in tape recording?
Tape was already played so who cares...lol already showed her true colors...

Honestly what she is doing is emotional abuse to the kids by doing what she did. Is there a law guardian involved you can tell? Are they in counseling? Try to get court ordered counseling for them as they are being pitted between two people they love...maybe a temporary order? ask you lawyer....she crossed the line by involving the kids. GET your lawyer to question her on that!! We also made a list of questions to ask each person that ex had...he picked and chose what he could get in...

[RoosterC]

Without sounding creepy, it goes EVERYWHERE with me in a zip lock bag in my briefcase. There is no tape to remove, its digital, about 1.5 inches by 3 inches by 3/4 thick.
Maybe Im too close to this but I think it shows how this poisoning is being done.
and I know that we are only supposed to talk about how things affect the kids but I feel violated, my kids were primed to provoke responses (that never came) for the sole purpose of feeding a custody attempt. Its not just the tape, its what went into making some of whats on it. I was being set up. Thank goodness I never took the bait, fact is I never would.
Now she is claiming the kids were given the tape to "show to" me in case I got angry and tell me "daddy, I want to tape you so you know how you sound when your angry"....oddly, they do not remember it that way. Not oddly, I never got angry, even then.
and I suspect the prior calls being covertly taped and the hesitance to surrender it will tend to make that claim sound like the fabrication it is.
Im tired of being painted as a monster.

[gemini3]

Where are you guys in the process?  Do you have a hearing coming up?  Have evaluations been ordered?  Is there a GAL?  What about psych evals, of you guys and of the kids?

I would want a clinical psychologist to do an evaluation of the kids regarding the alienation.  I would stay away from the word "alienation" unless your lawyer says otherwise, but you can definitely ask them to evaluate whether or not the children are being coached.

I would also want a GAL to meet with the children.  And I would want to talk to the custody evaluator seperatley from the ex.  From another post it sounded like you guys were meeting with her together?

[RoosterC]

We are 'somewhere' in the evaluator process. There was a solo but it was more a long interview of health and family history. The meeting where we were to each express concerns never got around to me (I will be afforded time later) and was a littany of rehashing disproven allegations and meanspirited comments like "why do you try to talk to them, dont you know they dont want to speak to you" and "your son doesnt want to be with you, why are you holding on, dont you care what HE wants". She was frantic to avoid the tape being played.
My attorney has definitely used the term alienation in the counter, as did CYS.
I just bought "divorce poison" and its a creepy kind of relief to know Im not alone.
There is no hearing yet.
I do not know what a GAL is.
I guess each meeting I AM being evaluated?!

But I do get the vibe that the goal with this evaluator is to knock heads together and reach some deal that keeps the local dockets manageable.

[MixedBag]

GAL -- guardian ad litem an individual appointed by the court to look out for the children's interest in this process.

EVERYONE in the process is always interested in settling out of court  -- except attorney's who may be egging you on to go to court, but ethically, if they can get you to agree to an agreement, that's on their mind too somewhere.

[RoosterC]

GAL -- guardian ad litem an individual appointed by the court to look out for the children's interest in this process.

EVERYONE in the process is always interested in settling out of court  -- except attorney's who may be egging you on to go to court, but ethically, if they can get you to agree to an agreement, that's on their mind too somewhere.

Thanks. There is no GAL.
As for settling out of court, We've tried to defuse this at several points and have made two VERY reasonable ofers at out of court resolution but Im dealing with someone who has been assured by her counsel that as the mother she has nothing to worry about, that having made allegations of emotional abuse, even if disproven, will likely be given creedence with a better safe than sorry notion, and that she has 'nothing to lose' that the 'worst that will happen is that things stay 50/50'. At the moment, it appears all to likely to be the case.
I can tell you its going to be painful to have to dip into what Ive sved for college to fight this.