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Hope...it can be done!

Started by iLUVmySD, Feb 09, 2006, 07:06:09 PM

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iLUVmySD

I've used this site off and on over the past 5 years.  I really owe a lot of my knowledge concerning family law to this site and the resources it provides.

Today my husband and I were able to obtain a Temporary Restraining Order against my SD's BM.

SD has been living with us for 2 years, and because BM still had a Child Support order, she wanted my husband to keep paying this whole time.  Anytime there was any irregularity in the child support payment or any minor disagreement, BM would threaten to come pick up SD at our house in AZ and take her back to her house in NV.

Finally we got the money together to hire an attorney.  We filed the petition for custody etc this past December.  Now the BM's threats have gotten worse and more frequent.  So last week we had our attorney start the TRO.

Today the Judge signed the order!!!!!!!  No more worrying about my SD being uprooted from her stable life, school, etc.

BM has the chance to prove why the order should not be in effect one week from tomorrow, but she has to come 800 miles to do it!!!  Not to mention she has one week to prepare!

So for all of you out there...don't give up hope, your chance will come.  We have been waiting 5 years for this day!!!  It just took a little patience and a lot of preparation!

ocean

Good for you!! Now get that child support order fixed :)

iLUVmySD

Well here's another update...

We had the hearing yesterday where BM had the chance to prove why the TRO should not be kept in effect.  She was not able to hire an attorney but did manage to get to Arizona.

Anyways, BM's arguments about my husband being an alcoholic, drug addict, etc. etc. etc did not go over too well with the judge because he actually said to her..."if you were so concerned with all of these problems before then why did you leave your daughter with him for 2 years?"  (Plus all of his past "rocky" history was 7-10 years ago when he was still in Nevada.  There are no blemishes on his record since his moved to Arizona, not even a speeding ticket.)

Then she kept arguing that she deserved the child support and claiming my SD as a dependant on her taxes for 2004 and 2005 even though my SD lived with us in AZ.  For the 2005 tax year BM said that she would not return my SD to Arizona unless my husband and I signed an agreement that we would not claim her.  We showed that agreement to the judge, and as you can imagine it proves that BM is using her daughter for money.  The judge said to BM that regardless what she says, BM used "her daughter as leverage to get what she wanted."  She looked horrible.

Needless to say the judge kept the TRO in full effect and granted sole physical custody to my husband with reasonable visitation to BM until the final hearing in March.

Sunshine1

WOW!  That's great!  Does it really say "reasonable visitation?"  Is this a custody hearing in a family court or a civil matter?  I can't tell how you got the TRO?  Is the same judge going to hear/make the final judgement?

msme

There is no such thing. That phrase is just something to keep the fur flying & lawyer's wallets fat. Look on here & find a long distance parenting plan. Modify it to meet your family's needs & present it to the court. Make it fair & swallow any desire to make it stingy.

You will look good to the court & your child will benefit by your mature approach to the problem. Use her school calendar to plan it. Remember to make room for changes as she grows & wants more time with her friends.

Good luck & God bless.
You never get a second chance to make a first impression!

iLUVmySD

No, the visitation is every weekend (Sat and Sun) with 10 days advance notice given, and 3 phone calls per week.

This was the Temporary Restraining Order hearing in family court.  We got the TRO because the law says you can obtain one if there is a good possibility that the other parent may take the child from the state.

The same judge is going to hear/make the final judgement, so hopefully it will also be in my husband's favor.

iLUVmySD

Thanks, for the advice.  The final custody and visitation hearing will be next month, so the final visitation schedule will be decided then.
I've already utilized the parenting plans on this site; however the lawyer said that they will come up with one for us. (They probably just have a standard one also and will customize as needed.)

msme

and must take direction from you. You tell him/her what you want in the parenting plan. Do not allow any vague or suggestive language. make sure that everything is spelled out in plain & simple language.

Good luck & God bless.
You never get a second chance to make a first impression!

iLUVmySD

Well my husband went to mediation with BM and they agreed to Joint legal custody with Father's home as the primary residence.  Visitation etc. is all agreed to also.
Now to get the child support order amended in NV and we are all set!
It took 5 years and plenty of preparation.  We were also lucky because the perfect opportunity presented itself to give us a very solid case for sole physical custody for my husband. With a lot of work and hope it is possible. :)