BM's sex life and exploitation could harm 3 year old son.../Psyche Evals

[evalisto2005]

***SOME ONE MADE A SIMILAR POST A WHILE BACK BUT I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT SITUATION JUST SO YOU KNOW (THAT POST  DID GET CRAZY)***

This afternoon I found one of BM's web sites. On it she has pics of guys

dry

humping, pics of her getting felt on by a guy, pics of her partially naked,

and

right next to those pics are pics of my son. BM also publicly talked about

how

she goes to parties for swingers and that she does at least 5 different

kinds of

drugs. BM left her real full name, location, etc. on her site also.

My son is not in the sex pics but his pics are right next to them and BM's

info

is right there for a pedophile, rapist, stalker, etc. to see and either way my

son's pics should not be there.

I left a message for my lawyer about it but my lawyer is not in the office

and

I dropped off print outs with full details under my lawyer's office door.

Since my son was not in the sex pics, is what BM did protected freedom of

speech and something that a judge would look down on but not be able to

do anything about?

Also, BM has pics posted of her hanging out at a place for swingers and

has pics of her with people that are not just under 21, but are under 18 and are drinking. This is too sick and humiliating.


My family changed their minds and will be getting money to cover

psyche/custody evals, a child representative, etc. and my lawyer already

started filing everything for emergency temporary custody, psyche evals,

home evals, everything. Any surprises I should know about with psyche

evals? What my son is going through makes me irritable and maybe seem

angry, or if I'm drained and exhausted I could appear to be severely

depressed. I talked to my therapist and psychiatrist. They said that the

worst case would be me being diagnosed with depression but that it is

from what I'm going through with the custody case and it does not make

me unfit. Anybody know what I should expect other than the obvious?

Thanks in advance.

[Sunshine1]

Have you stopped texting eachother?  How are things going?  No more false allegations?  You haven't boiled any rabbits have you?  LOL

IMHO, the websites are very damaging, and I would keep what you know to yourself and make sure you keep all the documentation for the custody evaluator.  Our BM was pregnant at the time of the custody eval and she thought nothing of it when she told the evaluator and everyone else for that matter that the father of the child was one of 4 men.

In the end the evaluator wrote this in her recommendation:
"that the mother's sexual promiscuity would inhibit her ability to parent effectively".  Custody was awarded to DH basically because she thought it was truly ok to have all these men in and out of their lives...and 6 years later she is still doing it.  

If she is running a porno shop out of her house, I would ask for supervised visitation, for gods sake she has her kid on the website and if she is doing drugs these whackos might think he comes with the package, you NEVER know!  I do think your case is shaping up here in your favor, but the waiting and the trama before it ends is very overwhelming to say the least.

While you are at it and got the money rounded up, I would hire a private investigator to see if she is in fact a "swinger".  I would think that evidence of her doing drugs and having sex with everyone she meets would be enough of a done deal for that evaluator to consider custody arrangements.

Ps... I would also ask for immediate drug testing at the time of the hearing.  You don't want her to be prepared for it.  Bring that card out at court.

[evalisto2005]

Hey, thanks! Yes, I had to stop testing her because she has a bogus order of protection, and my lawyer told me not to talk to her much because she won't tell me anything anyway and kept trying to have me falsely arrested. The OP will be vacated early next week. It's a slam dunk for me and possible perjery charges for her. She probably has made a lot more false allegations but I haven't heard about her making any to the police. She and her mother told my father with my mother listening on loud speaker that I didn't pay child support for a while. She also left a message for my lawyer saying that, but she cashed the check for that week before she said that!

No, I haven't boiled any wabbits yet. :P And things are crazy but better, thank you. :)

I guess she heard something from her lawyer because she said that she's putting our son in school for the special ed he needs (but told my father and mother that she put him in school because she got a job and doesn't want to pay for child care).

Yes, I have to talk my family into paying for a P.I. because I can't afford one. But some places that BM goes to post online when their parties are and where. Is some one that I know a person that would be considered biased? Of course. But I think that pictures and video footage do not lie. I'm going to see if I can get some one that I know and trust to go to ojne of those parties with a camera and a video camera, and first they can slowly work their way to BM on websites while pretending to be a minor that just wants sex, and wants to meet our son. If BM fell for that I think it would be so much more of a slam dunk.

Oh, *ADVICE FOR PEOPLE THAT NEED PRINTED UP INFO FROM WEB SITES AS EVIDENCE*:

Of course you print up everything. But things can be doctored before they are printed up and people can delete their posts. If you use your web cam to take digital pics of the posts right off of your screen I think it shows that
what you have is from a site, NOT a word document that's meant to doctor
things.

Of course I'll try to keep a lot of things secret until the last second. BM knows that she could be drug tested at any time and knows that if she drinks that 24 hour tea or whatever it is, she could pass a drug test. BUT, she constantly takes ephedra and that gives a postive for speed.

It's crazy! BM lives 90 minutes from me if traffic is flying but she often drives by my place with her frineds and they yell, squeel the tires, take off, and then come back later. I wondered where she would be going in between her crazy trips here and i found out today that she's in contact with a sicko from the internet that lives maybe 5 minutes from me. A LOT of the people BM talks to online are dumb enough to post their real names so I have all their contact info in case I'll need it.

I suggest trying google and yahoo searches a lot first for free but if you find nothing switchboard.com gives an unlimited people search for 24 hours for about $25.00.

Yes, even if a mother is not having sex at all I think it is really harmful for a child to have guys/fake daddies in and out of their lives and that's the case with BM.

I wonder what will happen in court now that BM's lawyer will NOT say anything for her based on her word because he found out he was lying for her under oath so many times.

I have to shut up because my mind and body need rest but my mind keeps racing since I'm online.

Thanks again and thanks to everybody that even read this.

[Sunshine1]

My hubby does internet security for a bank, he told what to tell you to do to save the website in case she finds out and takes it down so you can use it as evidence.  I forgot what he said so I will post to ya later when he gets home.  

She is going to have to prove she is Mother Theresa with all this evidence you have.  She isn't going to be able to lie her way out of websites and porno shots.  Our BM just couldn't do it.  She would talk the talk but when it came down to it she was busted for not being able to walk the walk.

Just last night she tried to lie her way out of a suspended license.  That was FUNNY!  " I didn't know officer, that my license was suspended."  yeeeeaaaaah riiiiiight.  45 minutes we waited for her to get a ride so the kids could go with her. Sigh.  The cop was ever so kind to let us know the ticket that suspended her was the one we turned her in for on Halloween, right after our court date for our 5th degree assaults.  He was even so kind to tell us WHEN she would be getting it back, which is 3 months from now.  The cop told DH straight out, " I KNOW SHE'S LIEING."  To me that is worth billions.  Just actually having a cop tell you he believes you is a friggin miracle.

Ok anyways, I will stop my rant and I will post back when I have the directions to save your evidence.

Sunshine~ :)

[Sunshine1]

ok here ya go..not that difficult...

Go to the website and click on "File".  Then go to "save as" Pick a folder or a place to save it in and click "save".  Then everything she uploaded you will have a copy of, and then burn it to CD and give it to your lawyer.

Make sure you repeat these steps for each page of her website.

Good Luck!

[evalisto2005]

Thank you! I knew to do that...

...but I completely forgot. lol. Thanks again!

Tomorrow I'll be getting a referral to some good P.I.'s and I keep finding out

more by looking at web sites of friends and online friends of BM. Not all of it is

a smoking gun but it's strong evidence or at the worst I know where to point

the P.I.'s. They can just show up at that crazy swinger party since any

one/every one is invited. Some of this seems too easy.


BM is talking to people that are as young as 16 and 14 and is drinking with

them, and apparently doing much more than that. Who do I report that

kind of thing to? I knopw there's some kind of law enforcement or a group

of citizens that pose as minors online, ask adults to meet them to have

sex, and then if the adult says they want to meet the minor for sex

something is done. Anybody know who I report this kind of thing to? I

think that the police won't investigate unless they already have something

more to go on.

[Sunshine1]

You can call your local police department and ask to speak to a detective that specializes in internet solicitation of a minor.  If it is a small town they might not have one, but if it is a fairly large city that you both live in they probably will.  If not, ask to speak to a detective and what it is regarding and they will assign someone to investigate it.

Someone will come and talk to you and you show them what you know on the internet.  I would highly recommend consulting your lawyer before doing so.  The cop might not take you seriously because of the custody issues going on right now, but if your lawyer ties that all in to your case somehow, you may have a shot at catching her.

What I would do is have the P.I. pose as the underage minor and have him contact the authorites, that way it isn't you trying to set her up directly.

[msme]

would be to find a good counselor for yourself. Having the wisdom to seek help during extreme situations, goes a long way. The psych eval will talk to your therapist & your therapist testifies that you are a perfectly normal father getting help in trying to deal with protecting his son. You look good all the way around.

It also gives you a good place to vent & get ideas on how to deal with things. The best advice that my son got from his therapist was that he had to stop trying to rationalize the behavior of an irrational person.

He also says that you must learn that you are not responsible for the behavior of others. You are only responsible for your response to their behavior.

You might also take your son to him during your visitation. The boy is surely getting strange exposure in her custody & there is no telling what he will tell the therapist. It will definitely help you & can only help your son.

To find a good therapist, call around to the area grammer schools. Ask to speak to the school Guidance Counselor. Tell them that you have a preschool child that needs some counseling & ask for the name of a good child psychologist. Call several schools & go with the name that comes up most often. Cream rises to the top.

Good luck & God bless
You never get a second chance to make a first impression!

[evalisto2005]

Yeah, I'm going to have the P.I. do that, I just have to wait until my lawyer said it's the exact right time. Thanks. :)

[evalisto2005]

I've been seeeing a therapist since before I even filed the case. The problem is that she will not testify for or against her clients. She said that what is on her records would make me look bad because of her not being able to defend me. I had just mentioned to her some small things that a lawyer would have fun with if no one could defend me.