SOLUTIONS AND METHOD

[MixedBag]

Ocean -- folks have to sign for a registered letter,

Overnight is fine, maybe that can be tracked on line.

Priority Confirmed Delivery needs no signature and you can track that on line.

Registered needs a signature.

Restricted Delivery Registered -- means ONLY the person you're sending it to can sign.

[Andrew_S]

Thank you all for responding it is a lonely place to be, but like many of us the hardest part of course is maintaining the mechanical side of all this B.S. and trying to keep the emotional, financial and personal interests out of it.

I did write on OFW the following prior to the commentary.  I do this so that perhaps others can learn from the error in the message pointed out from a member in the use of words.   Certainly I have many of these on family wizard going back to 2007.

Andrew xxxxxx
To:	XXXXXXXXXXXXXX	(first view:                                                                                       never)
Sent:	05/15/11 02:55PM
Subject:	Hi I have not heard from you
Message:	Dear XXXX,      I have left a reasonable number of messages on your phone, as well as communication through this program Family Wizard to at least communicate with me and let me know what is going on and what are your intentions. I have not seen the children as scheduled in the court order by actions you have brought and I feel you are frustrating any attempt to see the children. You appear to be using whatever means are possible, even wasting state resources on issues that do not exist or certainly are not of my creation. I also believe these are costly and ultimately detrimental to the best interests of the children.      I would appreciate at the very least that you let me know either by email on this program or by phone, if I am to get the children this coming weekend as scheduled. There are no national holidays or recognized events that you need to attend with the children that would serve as an excuse and I do not believe there are any special events that directly concern the children. So they will be free to spend the time visiting with me unhindered.      My main concern is that you please do notify me that you intend to continue withholding the children in order that I am able to conserve my scarce resources both in gas and finances to serve other purposes. I am stating this to avoid the financial problems it creates through lack of communication and more importantly to avoid costs. Where the expenditure becomes an unnecessary burden that serves no one. Thank you

So that unfortunately is the message I wrote prior to the last posts in offering advice, for me the scary part of all this is the whole system seems to be geared towards turning all parenting and the processes involved into money and rules for being a parent.  Divorced parents today and tomorrow every parent who decides to have kids, scary thoughts about the future.

[ocean]

Thanks Mixed bag! I always have to ask at the Post office when I go.

Andrew...too many words. For next time, no excuses, no discussions. Straight to the point. If you want to add a sentence "if you are not at the exchange point in the papers, I will be forced to file a police report and contempt of court against you"

[MixedBag]

Dad -- why are you ASKING if you can pick them up when you have a court order that says your children are allowed to spend time with you?

Let me play devil's advocate here, k?

Let's say I'm your EX.

Let's say that I interpret that if you're asking, you don't really want them, no matter what the court order says, so FINE, they can stay with me because obviously you don't really want them because you're asking.

Now, back to the normal me.

You have an order.  Notify her that you will be exercising your parenting time according to the order.

Drive, buy gas there to prove you went.

Do this say a month in a row so that clearly she is denying weekends with you because if she doesn't let you have them say 3 weekends in a row, clearly the order is not being followed.

FILE in court.   Don't mention court unless YOU're ready to follow through -- and as painful as it is, sometimes you have no options.

[Andrew_S]

Thanks all the information was very helpful. 

Ok So I turned up tonight waited, got myself a cup of coffee from macdonalds where the pickup is, kept my receipt and cup.  However from experience I did also phone the police department got an officer to take a report confirm my presence and of course cite the report with number.  While I do understand this procedure as I have 64 missed placement reports of a similar nature which were dismissed previously as hearsay.  I have as a note found the courts to be a little unfriendly when you try to use them as evidence, so where I am from you have to also request or subpoena either the person who sold you the item or the reporting officer to testify as to the report or receipts veracity.  Otherwise the court will reject it as hearsay and not accept the receipt or report as authenticated or alternatively tell you to get a lawyer to validate your claim.  So in the meanwhile I note that there is a notice filed today for change of placement from the former spouse and a motion.  SO it would seem as I have stated before that I am in the death throws of losing contact with the children.  I have in no way given up, but as I have stated the attorneys and lawyers along with the judge seem to construct a scenario where they can orchestrate a parendectomy by default, by simply wearing you down and out money you.   So Monday I file my motion and we will see what happens, for those interested I will update this thread as I go along.

Thanks   

[MixedBag]

o.k., I disagree with your strategy.

filing for a change of custody....now?  I believe it won't work and you won't be successful.

64 missed time, 64 police reports....  and YES, you have to get the police officer to testify that he wrote the report and that she wasn't there.

Same thing with any other piece of evidence -- like if you get a report from Social Services, THEY have to testify that they wrote the report.

What court did you file in for the 64 missed times?

[ocean]

He just got the court to switch jurisdiction so maybe now it won't be so mommy biased.

File contempt of court papers in the new court...hopefully it will be better there.

[Andrew_S]

I am sorry Mixed bag you may have misunderstood something, my former spouse has filed for a change of placement on the 19th.  Previously the GAL would prevent and fight for motions to be admitted under the 5 day rule, I would object she would file again and so on and so forth, until somebody missed the deadline.  Then she would get it changed by default to benefit the GAL, the attorney I had at the time just simply would not object, and basically told me.  'Don't bother wait until the children are 18', and he further explained that he talked with the GAL and they stated that they were 'not sure I would do to her what she was doing to me', so much for clarifying the way the legal system works.

1	05-20-2011	Notice of assignment of judge	Evenson, James
2	05-19-2011	Notice of motion, motion
Additional Text:             to Change: Physcial Placement
3	05-19-2011	Transcript
Additional Text:             10/21/08 Hearing
4	05-19-2011	Transcript
Additional Text:             11/19/07 Hearing
5	05-19-2011	Transcript
Additional Text:             4/8/09 Hearing

I have NOT filed a motion someone else HAS I was waiting for the judicial transfer and paperwork, and I understand that there is a summons with my name on it, so I await the summons service to see what it is.  It could also be a TRO not sure until I see it

http://wcca.wicourts.gov/caseDetails.do;jsessionid=51BDCD242F3E78E2241745CFCED87F19.render6?caseNo=2011FA000183&countyNo=56&cacheId=0021C4550038824B6F984648FFA80EDA&recordCount=7&offset=0#party_2

Thanks.

[MixedBag]

O.K., I just read the two links....and while it gives us a clue as to what happened, it doesn't give details,k?

Personally -- I too would wonder or be concerned about the fact that you were in a hotel during your week.....did I read that right?

I go back to what I said before.

And it looks like details got added when you went back to court time and time again.

Now that jurisdiction is changing to another county, start gathering new documentation from this point forward.

A receipt is sufficient to show that you attempted to exercise the parenting time YOUR CHILD is allowed to spend with you.

The summer is coming -- give her notice of what 3 individual weeks the child will be spending with you.

And nope, don't hook them together -- I get the feeling from the transcripts that this would not be allowed.  I think I read "3 individual weeks, one per month" so saying the last week in June and firt week of July won't be acceptable.  But lay it out now....and let Mom know.  (Heck, I used to notify about 6 months in advance -- which made dad angry, and Camilla even complained about having "left overs" -- vs. seeing the positive side of planning so that they could also plan).

If by the end of June, your child didn't get a week with you, FILE for contempt.  This is clearly evident in the transcripts.

If the child misses a weekend with you because the child is sick, Mom is supposed to provide a doctor's note and attempt a makeup weekend.  Have you been keeping track of this?  If not, start now.

And after a missed weekend, remind her of the rules -- doctor's note and attempted make up time -- and get ready to file -- yea, again.

[Andrew_S]

Thanks for your response mix bag , but I still don't follow the, 'I too would wonder or be concerned about the fact that you were in a hotel during your week.....did I read that right?', where did you get that from ?