texas custody laws

[wife1]

DOes anyone have information on what the laws are in texas having to do with the minor child wanting to move to the non custodial parent. The child is 12 now and will be 13 in dec, he has made it very clear that he wants to come move down here with his father and i but we all know that his bio mom will not allow it nor will she eve entertain the conversation. i know i read somewhere that if there is a substantial change in his home life they would consider it, and they move around alot because his step father is in the military. they just came back from living abroad for 5 yrs, we have lived in the same town for 8 yrs and have no plan on moving. he has mentioned how he doesnt want to keep moving around and that if he could he would move now. we dont know wht to do

[Simplydad]

You can file a motion for change in custody. In Texas at the age of 12 a child can decide where they want to stay...now keep in mind the judge will still have to grant it but the wishes of a child at that age carries a lot of weight.

Because the child wants to move in with the Non-Custodial parent that is considered a change in circumstance that will allow the motion to be filed with the courts.

[Kitty C.]

'In Texas at the age of 12 a child can decide where they want to stay...'

Not quite, Simpledad.....it's important in issues like this that the meaning isn't misconstrued.  A child can VOICE who they want to live with, but you're right.....it still is up to the judge whether it's granted or not.

OP, keep in mind that the child just can't say 'I want to go live with Dad because I like it better there.'  If the child gives a fairly mature basis for their decision, it will carry more weight with the judge.

[wife1]

even though he has voiced his desire to live here with us , we are worried that because his mother has such a uge influence on him he would be too scared to go against her. His exact words were " if i could i would move here right now, but if i go against my mom i will be in alot of trouble" she holds him to her by fear.

[gemini3]

At the age of 12 a child can express where they want to stay - but that is in the context of a custody hearing that is either the first hearing, or based on a material change of circumstance.  The child's desire to live with the other parent is not a material change in circumstance.  The moves are also not a material change in circumstance.  And, a lot of states are now enacting laws that prohibit using a military members deployment or duty station assignments in a custody decision.

Is there a reason that the child wants to leave?  Has something happened?  How are the child's grades and behavior?  It sounds to me like he might be feeling that he needs to show some loyalty or alignment with you guys, and this is how he's trying to do it.  It's hard for kids to be split between parents, and if he feels that you guys are really upset about it, or that you guys really want him to come live there, he may feel the need to make you feel better by saying these things.  It's very common.

BTW, it irks me to hear people use the sacrifices military members make for our country against them when it comes to their children.  We don't want to get moved around constantly and be seperated from our family either.  But we do it, because that's part of the job.

[MixedBag]

"BTW, it irks me to hear people use the sacrifices military members make for our country against them when it comes to their children.  We don't want to get moved around constantly and be seperated from our family either.  But we do it, because that's part of the job"

Thank you gem!!!

20 years retired here -- and all those MOVES actually benefitted my children.

They know there's more to life that living where we currently live and that there's sooo much more out there -- and places to avoid.

In this case (IMHO), the laws won't protect the mother of the children who is married to the military member....like the SSRA....so the denial of time according to the order is something that can be brought to court etc.....but be careful about bashing the many moves because she is married to a military guy.

[Simplydad]

'In Texas at the age of 12 a child can decide where they want to stay...'

Not quite, Simpledad.....it's important in issues like this that the meaning isn't misconstrued.  A child can VOICE who they want to live with, but you're right.....it still is up to the judge whether it's granted or not.

OP, keep in mind that the child just can't say 'I want to go live with Dad because I like it better there.'  If the child gives a fairly mature basis for their decision, it will carry more weight with the judge.

That is what I meant....your version sounds better...

[gemini3]

I agree MixedBag.   My dad was career military, as is my husband.  I've lived all over the place, and loved it!

Unfortunately, when my husband divorced 8 years ago, the climate wasn't as friendly to military folks.  He was denied anything more than standard EOW, and dinner mid-week because of his deployment status.  It's a shame that it ever happens.

[wife1]

Please do not misunderstand what I am saying as far as her husband is concerned and his job. Both my parents were both military and right now my father is on his second deployment to afganistan as well as my brother, to me the differnce of feelings is because the child does not want to go and has made it very clear that he doesnt want to. I can honestly say I dont think he really feels any kind of loyalty to us or worried about hurting our feelings. He has always been a sensitive child and she has made sure to do certain things and raise him rough so that he would stop showing any desire to come with his family over here. There are times when we arent even talking about it or the idea hasent been brough up and he says it himself, there is always a change in his attitude when he has to go back with her and its not a positive one. He is very unsure of himself, seems tohave anxiety, and just a whole bunch of mixed emotions about going back and forth when he does come see his father kind of like he just isent sure if its ok for him to want to be with us. He i not the child that understands what is going on between his parents or why they are unable to get along some kids know what they want and who they want to be with and dont feel bad about it but he isent that child.

[wife1]

@Gemini he wants to come live with us because his mother has tried to stop him and limit how much he is with his father since birth. she is one of those that " i want him here at this tme exactly and not a minute later" I say what and who you can talk to kind of person, she has been like this since he was a baby. She has a very rough personality and he just isent like that.