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Summer schedule conflict

Started by Remi2, Jun 12, 2011, 02:05:10 PM

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Remi2

Greetings!  I am looking for some advice.  I am the custodial parent of a 3yr. old.  The child's father and I have a CO in place since '08.  The CO states that each parent is granted 6 weeks of summer vacation.  The non-custodial parent will select the weeks of summer vacation by March 1st so that each parent will have ample time to make summer camp and child care arrangements.  This year the child's father did not send the weeks he selected for the summer by the March 1st deadline.  I think that he forgot to send the schedule.  After not receiving anything by March 15th, I selected the weeks for summer camp for the child and notified and sent the father the schedule via email.  The schedule was 2 consecutive weeks at a time for parent.  The child would spend the first 2 weeks with the father beginning June 6th.

The child's father is claiming that he mailed (via the postal service) the summer schedule back in February, which I know that he did not. The child's father wants to change schedule that I sent to alternating weeks.  I have planned the entire summer vacation as a well as my vacation from work based upon the schedule that I sent.  The child's father is saying that he will bring the child back today instead of keeping through the following weekend. 

We currently have a contempt case pending and we are awaiting the investigative report from the GAL.  Once the GAL finishes the report I do not know how long it will take before we can see the judge?  I would like to try and resolve this matter about the summer schedule as soon as possible. I sent an email and left a voicemail message to ask if the child's father if he please will follow the current summer schedule.  If the child's father decided not to follow the summer schedule and returns the child early does anyone have any advice on what to do about the summer vacation schedule before go before the judge?  I have made alternate arrangements for the child for the upcoming week.

ocean

Well, I think you should of asked him or had a discussion back in March BEFORE you signed child up for daycare.
I am sure the daycare will switch weeks if you called them so see if you can switch around to what dad almost wants except the week that you scheduled vacation. Ask him from now on to email you or send the letter certified so the mailman makes you sign it. Then send your ex an email/text:
Ex,
I never got your summer week letter but am able to switch the daycare weeks on my end except for the week of XX since I already scheduled my vacation with work. Below is the rest of the summer weeks:
XYZ
Thank you
You

MixedBag

You know -- in Communications 101....the responsiblity of a message getting across to the recipient is upon the sender.  And the sender knows the message is received based on feedback.

SO....I actually see room for improvement on both sides.

Can he PROVE he sent something back in February?  (Like provide a receipt?)

And can you PROVE he read your e-mail with your schedule (like use "readnotify.com").

After that I say pick and choose your battles -- and figure out when it's important to say NO, and when it's possible to bend.

So stop and think....particularly if you already have open court actions that need to be resolved.

Remi2

Thanks, Oceans.  But the deadline for the summer camp registration was March 30th.  The summer camp cannot switch weeks.  The summer camp staffs the weeks and makes plans based on the number of kids who sign up.  I still asked the Director if it would be possible to switch and she told me "No." because the weeks are full.   
No, he cannot prove the he sent something in February. 

I do use bcc all of email communication to him using whoreadme.com

I am dealing with a high conflict personality.  So, I have learned to cover all my bases because the truth has a tendency to get twisted.

I do agree pick and chose your battles. 
UPDATE:  Potential conflict crisis avoided.  Surprisingly, the child's father agreed to stick the summer schedule. 

MixedBag