Temporary Custody Order Dad Wants to Modify

[Baba4Ever]

I am a dad of a 22 month old boy.  I have a TCO which is 70/30 (me 30).  I have every other weekend and 2 overnights during the week, plus we share basic holidays.

I want to go back to the court to modify the custody order - which has been in effect since April 2011.  I want to modify it so that we incorporate a parenting plan which will incorporate a step up to 60/40, with us sharing all holidays, including when he starts school, i.e., summer break and winter break.  I would rather get this done now, rather than later, because I hear permanent orders are very hard to change.  I am in California.

I also have joint legal and physical custody.  That's not to say though that it was easy.  My wife fought me every step of the way to get sole legal custody with no overnights since she believed our son was too young.  However, he is doing wonderfully and is thriving.

I tried to hash all of this out for a settlement agreement but my wife is not agreeing to, so we have a Status Conference scheduled.  Our divorce will probably be bifucated so that everything will be settled except for the custody issue. 

The questions I have are, can I file a motion to modify the temporary custody order now, even though there is a status conference schedule.  I don't have the date yet but it will probably be in 3 or 4 months.

Or should I just wait until the Status Conference and wait and see what the judge does?  I heard the judge won't make any orders at a Status Conference. 

One other thing - my wife wrote a defamatory blog saying vicious things and that she doesn't want me to have custody, etc., etc.  I am not planning to bring it in, but I am wondering if I had to, if I could, or should.  I would rather settle amicably, even though she does not want to.

[ocean]

From my experience, status conferences are the lawyers telling the judge the status of the case and see if you will work it out at the last minute or go to a full trial. We had many many status conferences, kept putting it off another month. If you have a lawyer, see if they will push to put a trial date on the calendar. Have you tried mediation? You may be able to hash out part of the parenting plan and then have the judge decide the rest.

[Baba4Ever]

From my experience, status conferences are the lawyers telling the judge the status of the case and see if you will work it out at the last minute or go to a full trial. We had many many status conferences, kept putting it off another month. If you have a lawyer, see if they will push to put a trial date on the calendar. Have you tried mediation? You may be able to hash out part of the parenting plan and then have the judge decide the rest.

Thank you, yes we did have two mediation sessions and we after that the judge ordered a 70/30 plan.  I have tried with our lawyers to get a parenting plan incorporated for going forward, but my wife is refusing to.  I was also informed by my lawyer that "there is no way this case will go to trial" because the judge won't allow it, since what I am asking for is very reasonable apparently.  I don't know if she will agree at the status conference, that is why I was wondering if I should file for a modification now, go to mediation again, since the judge may recommend that anyway if we don't agree at the status conference. 

[ocean]

Ask your lawyer but I think your temp orders stay until you agree to something different or a judge rules. I do not think you have to put in modification papers because you are in limbo, if she does not agree that day, then the judge will be forced to go to trial. BUT...they can just set another conference date again...and again...and then finally a trial.

[Baba4Ever]

Ask your lawyer but I think your temp orders stay until you agree to something different or a judge rules. I do not think you have to put in modification papers because you are in limbo, if she does not agree that day, then the judge will be forced to go to trial. BUT...they can just set another conference date again...and again...and then finally a trial.

Thanks, I think you are right about the temp order.  I was just worried because I've heard as more time goes by, the less the judge likes to change the orders.  On the Request for Status Conference form her attorney estimated "trial" would take 2 to 3 hours, so I don't know if that indicates anything. 

So, about her writing a defamatory blog - it would not be a good idea to bring that in to show she does not want to cooperate right?  I wanted to have it on standby in case I had to show the judge what her true intentions are. 

[ocean]

Print it and all other evidence you have out and put in a neat binder. Go over with your lawyer before hand and then that morning and they may be able to get some things into evidence or if it goes to trial, he can ask your ex questions on cross examination. Trials get ugly, so give your lawyer whatever you have and they will sort out what they can get in. (emails, past police reports? medical reports? proof you are involved, pictures of you and kids happy, evidence you are in contact with schools, dr, dentist).

We also made a calendar and color coordinated all the days we had kids, you can do that and the times you asked for more time and she said no. If she ever denied court ordered temp time, get that in there too.