mother moved 100 miles away, cant deal with being that far for my children

[ggray3]

Hi there, this is my first post and am looking for guidance/advise/tips or whatever anyone can bring. I have been seperated from my ex wife for 3 years and divorced for about a year. we had 50/50 joint custody where they would be at my house for 3-4days and nights and her house 3-4days and nights. Everything revolved around her work schedule and when she could and could not be there to watch the girls (13, 11, 7yrs old). I am not the biological father of the oldest but have been there since she was 13 months old. In the past 3 years she has found a new boyfriend, had a baby with him and decided that her moving to phoenix for HIS schooling was the way things where gonna go.  Contrary to what her and MY mother believe I never agreed to the move, and told her over and over again that i did not want to do it...especially for her boyfriend. Needless to say she moved regardless of what i wanted. SO now she thinks that me having my three children every other weekend is fair, and is split evenly. Last time i checked 3.5 days a month is nowhere near 15! My oldest (again who is not legally or biolgically mine) wants to live with me and cannot stand her future step father. All three girls say that alls he does is play video games and yell at them, and since the move and school starting he is the primary person watching them while their mother works 45-55hrs a week. Their mother does not acknowledge the fact that it is unfair to them or me...she only cares about what is fair for her. she thinks that her home is a "better enviornment" then mine even though i have a girlfriend that adores them, along with her children and my family up here. I planned on going for custody for all three of them but she informed me that i was never going to win my oldest. Therefore i dropped it and ignored the problem until the beginning of the school year. Now a month into her arrangement (no court order) and i cannot deal with just seeing my girls more than 3.5 days a month. I want custody of them, but at the very least i want more time!!!  Besides uprooting and moving down to the valley what are my options. She is a good mother, but i am a better father and i deserve to have my girls and they deserve me more often! Thank You in advance!

[Kitty C.]

Going to need more information to be able to help you:

What does your CO say about move-aways?

If your CO has specifics about move-aways, what aren't you filing for contempt?

Even without move-away language in your CO, she is denying you CO'd time with your children....did you know that you can file fro contempt for that, too?

How long has it been since she's moved?  If it's been a few months, you need to get moving on this NOW.  The longer you wait, the more likely a judge will think you ARE okay with her move, because you did nothing to stop it or file contempt immediately once she did leave.


I highly recommend getting an atty.....if you had one during the divorce and custody proceedings, get in tough with them and ask what your next move should be.

[ocean]

I agree...need to file ASAP but let us know what exactly you have now in court papers.
You could of fought the move, and maybe still can. All of this will be dealt with in the family court in the county of the divorce if you file now.
The oldest you probably can not get full custody BUT when you go to court, ask for a GAL and ask for visitation of her. (especially if her own father in not involved). A GAL talks to the kids and finds out what they would like, and what is the best interest of the kids. The GAL talks to the judge and is like a lawyer for all three kids.
Look at the school calendar, almost every month there are long weekends you can ask for, then most of the breaks. You could change the holiday schedule so you have them the whole school break. Thanksgiving- Tues or Wed after school until sunday, Christmas break, winter, break, spring break...then most of the summer-6 weeks.

[nila fordyce]

Hi there, this is my first post and am looking for guidance/advise/tips or whatever anyone can bring. I have been seperated from my ex wife for 3 years and divorced for about a year. we had 50/50 joint custody where they would be at my house for 3-4days and nights and her house 3-4days and nights. Everything revolved around her work schedule and when she could and could not be there to watch the girls (13, 11, 7yrs old). I am not the biological father of the oldest but have been there since she was 13 months old. In the past 3 years she has found a new boyfriend, had a baby with him and decided that her moving to phoenix for HIS schooling was the way things where gonna go.  Contrary to what her and MY mother believe I never agreed to the move, and told her over and over again that i did not want to do it...especially for her boyfriend. Needless to say she moved regardless of what i wanted. SO now she thinks that me having my three children every other weekend is fair, and is split evenly. Last time i checked 3.5 days a month is nowhere near 15! My oldest (again who is not legally or biolgically mine) wants to live with me and cannot stand her future step father. All three girls say that alls he does is play video games and yell at them, and since the move and school starting he is the primary person watching them while their mother works 45-55hrs a week. Their mother does not acknowledge the fact that it is unfair to them or me...she only cares about what is fair for her. she thinks that her home is a "better enviornment" then mine even though i have a girlfriend that adores them, along with her children and my family up here. I planned on going for custody for all three of them but she informed me that i was never going to win my oldest. Therefore i dropped it and ignored the problem until the beginning of the school year. Now a month into her arrangement (no court order) and i cannot deal with just seeing my girls more than 3.5 days a month. I want custody of them, but at the very least i want more time!!!  Besides uprooting and moving down to the valley what are my options. She is a good mother, but i am a better father and i deserve to have my girls and they deserve me more often! Thank You in advance!

I feel for you, this truly is tragic...But how was she allowed to move that far anyway-was this thru the courts? She has to have permission first. See, this is one of the major problems with these horrific move away situations that are allowed in some states. Some states are worse than others--they should be banned. How do these selfish mothers and the Family Legal System think that you can feasibly see your children anymore than that--I am surprised you can do that with having to work for a living and all. Plus all the other extra expenses traveling with the economy as well as your personal finances. It is truly egregious to the relationships with fathers and their beloved children. She might be a good mother--but she is a very selfish mother and is not thinking about what is in the best interest of the children. Children NEED their good fathers and the Family Legal System destroys that. However, you are fortunate that they are only 100 miles away--I know fathers that are 3,000 miles away from their children and it is sooo sad for all of them. There are alot of people in this world that need their heads examined. And all their doing is destroying the futures of the children. There is absolutely NO benefit to a child being taken away from a good fit parent. Unfortunately it is usually the father. So good luck trying to make it better because the Family Legal System is very biased and incompetent and greedy!!!