NO CUSTODY SET - MILITARY ISSUE

[hulsj]

OK HERES THE CURRENT PROBLEM,
GOING THRU A DIVORCE AND HAVE 2 CHILDREN 1&4 --
WE HAVE NOT BEEN TO COURT AS OF YET AND NO CUSTODY WHATSOEVER HAS BEEN SET UP , NO VISITATION HAS BEEN SET UP ,
NOTHING HAS BEEN LAID OUT WHATSOEVER BY THE LAW.
I HAVE HAD THE KIDS IF NOT MORE THAN HALF OF THE TIME DURING SEPERATION THEN RIGHT AT HALF OF THE TIME WE HAVE BEEN SEPAERATED.  ( I HAVE 7 DAYS OFF IN A 14 DAY PERIOD AND ALWAYS WANT AND HAVE THE KIDS ON MY DAYS OFF) I HAVE ALSO WATCHED THE CHILDREN WHEN MOTHER COULD NOT PAY FOR CHILD CARE AND TERMINATED CHILD CARE FOR THAT REASON.
NOW I HAVE TO GO FOR MILITARY TRAINING FOR A MONTH (CAN BE HOME ON WEEKENDS) AND MOTHER IS YELLING THAT SHE NEEDS $$ FOR WATCHING THE CHILDREN AND FOR THINGS SUCH AS POWER BILLS ETC, SHE IS ALSO ASKING FOR HELP NOW SAYING THAT SHE WILL LOSE HER PLACE TO LIVE SINCE SHE CANT AFFORD THE BILLS. (SHE GOT FIRED I SUSPECT FROM A GOOD PAYING JOB ABOUT WEEK AND HALF AGO AND NOW HAS TAKEN ON NEW JOB WHERE IM SURE PAY ISNT AS MUCH.)  
I HAVE CHILD CARE SET UP WITH MY MOTHER WHO WILL WATCH THE CHILDREN , GIVE PHONE RIGHTS, AND LET MOTHER COME AND GET THEM WHEN THE MOTHER WANTS.  MOTHER IS GRIPING BECAUSE SHE DOES NOT WANT TO MEET MOTHER HALF WAY AND TRANSIT IS APPROX 3 HRS FOR THE FULL TRIP 1 1/2 IF MEETS HALF WAY.  I WOULD EVEN GIVE MOTHER WAL MART GIFT CARD WITH 100 ON IT FOR GAS MONEY TO SEE THE CHILDREN IF NEEDED.
MY QUESTION IS IF THERE HAS BEEN NO CUSTODY GIVEN TO EITHER PARENT WOULD I HAVE THE RIGHT TO LEAVE MY CHILDREN WITH MOTHER TO ENSURE THEIR SAFETY , AVOID FURTHER HARASSMENT , AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY WHILE IM GONE.

THANKS FOR ANY INPUT AS THIS IS THE 1ST TIME IVE EVER BEEN THRU DIVORCE OR ANY KIND OF CUSTODY ISSUE --

[Cookiemomma4]

And your answer is no, not really.  You could try it but there mother can come pick them up and not return them and you will look like the bad guy for trying to "take her children from her."  Good luck!

[MixedBag]

Actually, this is not a military issue at all because it doesn't matter if the training is required by the military or your civilian employer.

I too wouldn't like the arrangements you made if I as mom was willing to take in the children during your absence.  You wouldn't like it either if the shoe was on the other foot.....put yourself in her shoes and think.

I also hope that someone has filed something with the courts to get the ball rolling....and that should be you.

Honestly, I'd give her some money for the children and on the memo line of the check write that it's for the children.