Husband Is trying to get Sole Custody

[Jolene Reedy]

I am being accused of haveing no contact with my children since June 2010 to date. I have phone records that I have made many phone calls and sent text messages. My custody agreement states I am to have the children over summer vacation. I could not take them this year due to a car wreck i was in and broke my neck and I have TBI a brain Injury due to this.

I have been unable to work since this happend Dec. 2011 so i have not been able to pay support since then. My ex husband is trying to have the judge rule that I have no contact with the children untill my back support is paid. that I have to go under a mental evaluation through the military and pay for it. He wants Sole custody.

He quit answering my phone calls quite some time ago. So I have no contact at all even though I still try to contact them. They reside in California, I was in the area for a couple months and wanted to see the children he stated he would call the cops if I showed up.

I called my son once and the first thing he asked me is mom why dont you pay your child support, He is 8.

I have recieved many nasty text messages from him. i.e. over xmas he stated in one I will tell the children you sent nothing and that the stuff came from someone who cares.

I have done nothing wrong, and do not deserve to be excluded from my childrens lives. I am doing Court Call to California I reside in Virgina now. I guess my main question is how do I submit my medical records and proof of phone records to the judge since i am doing court call and have no Lawyer.  He does

The lady from the child support division called me and said she could not belive his alligations it was the weirdest thing she had ever seen, and that she could not even talk or reason with him.

Im kind of at a loss as how i need to present my case on my own I dont want to loose custody of my children because I was hurt in an accident.

[ocean]

Sole custody means he gets to make decisions about school and medical which he is doing now BUT even with Sole custody you still keep visitation and phone access to the kids.

Send the letter from this site to the kids school and get on their mail and online access to their grades and attendance. The federal law is if you are their parent you can get access. You can call first but if they give you a hard time, send the letter with a copy of their birth certificate. Keep up with their schooling and teachers. Ask for the online password so you can watch online.

Keep sending cards to the kids with proof you sent it from post office. Keep a binder to show kids when they are older. You may want to slow down on the gifts and open a bank account and put a few dollars in their each time you want to buy a gift. They can use it when you see them next or when they are older. Can you send the cards to another family member? Are the kids on facebook?

Call the court house and ask how you can send the judge your evidence since you are doing a phone hearing. Tell them that you have medical reports that the judge needs to see to show why you did not have kids this summer.

You can file a counter motion if you have time, for modification of visitation due to father denying phone contact with children and informing children about the court case. Mother has tried to call once a week for the last xx months with no contact or return call. Mother requests phone access to all children every Tuesday at 7:30pm. If children are not available they will return call within 24 hours. You can also ask for email access or a facebook account to be set up for access to children or video chat so you can see them at a certain time each week.

You can also file a counter motion to modify child support since you are disabled. You should send a little each week to show you are trying if possible. They may lower the amount you pay. Are you on disability? Can the kids get payments that way? See if you qualify for federal disability, if you do, children will have payments directed to them and it will not lower the amount you get. You can start an application online.

[Jolene Reedy]

Thank you very much for the help with my questions.

I have a couple more if anyone can answer them.

The Child Support Lady told me they would zero out my child support if I can have my Dr. sighn a paper stateing I cannot work. I went to a free clinic here ( I cannot afford a dr. right now, no insurance) and she told me they would not sighn any paperwork because they were a free clinic. And she doubted that any Dr. here would because I do not have a relationship with them. My past Drs were in Montana where I was involved in my accident. And my court is on Oct. 4th.

I have not offically not been served the summos from the court yet it was sent to my mothers in Montana I was told by CSD to have her send it back. I sent my new address in a txt to my ex husband. (she is sending me a copy of it in the mail) but since I have not offically been served and now that he has my address does he have to resend the paperwork?  from what I read on the Internet since I live out of state I have to have a 60 day notice is this  true?

I have sent for my medical records but just got the medical release form today and faxed it back ( the clinic would not even let me have them faxed to them so I have to have them mailed to me.) They will not be here in time for my court date (not to mention sent all the way back to California)

Can I put in for a continuance on my case so I have time to get everything together and submitted? Does my ex have to agree to that if I do?  Or do I do the court call and state to the Judge that i just found out about my summons and have not had adequate time to gather information on my behalf for the case.

I am currently trying to find a place to help me file a disibality claim in my area also.

Thank You for any help I am at a loss  as how to procede with this matter.

[Jolene Reedy]

Sorry about the spelling (TBI)

[Jolene Reedy]

One more question.

Can I ask the judge for a new parenting plan since I have relocated things need to be adjusted as far as travel ect. for the children. Or do I need to go to a mediator here in VA and put in a request with them.

[ocean]

Ok...
You can call the child support court and ask how to get a continuance. We can fax a letter to the judge. If you have the judges name, ask to speak to their secretary and find out. In the request, tell them you are currently disabled and you were informed by a third party that their is a court date but have not be sent/served any paperwork. Request a new date so you have time to gather medical info from dr's concerning your disability. You may want to write that you are starting the disability process and the children may be covered under the federal plan.

Go to your local social service and see if you qualify for medicaid then find a dr to get past info and start dealing with you.

Usually child support is not zero. Here you would still have to pay $25 a month.

To get federal government disability, you can start the application online. Then a dr would have to continue and send in paperwork (or you might get the paperwork in your medical files) to start the case. If you are approved you get $ and the kids would get money also. It would also be back dated so start an online case.

In order to change the parenting plan, you can either get the paperwork or download it from their court site. It would be called "modification of parenting/visitation plan". You should go to the same court that the child support case is in but sometimes it is a different judge. You have to file this "motion" and can not just there and ask for it. They would send him a copy and you would have a court date over it. They may do it all together next month or it might be done separately. -depending on state/area.

[Jolene Reedy]

Thank you so Very much.. You have been such a help!! I filed today for my disability and Medicade if they approve me. So hopefully I can get things rolling. Blessings to you and yours always!

[Kelly Smith]

Well I have read all your questions and you claim that you have done "nothing wrong?" wow you must be perfect! Nothing gets to the point you are at by doing nothing! Why did your ex mail the paperwork to your mother in Montana? Did you not provide him an address or only provide him an address since your ex filed court paperwork? Everything you are asking help for sound like you don't want to pay child support to your children.....what kind of person are you? Don't you even care about providing support or are you just selfish and only care about yourself? If you don't have a job how do you have internet? a phone? how to you move from CA to VA? You did all this without having a job is amazing!!!!  Why didn't you file paperwork back in Dec....why did you wait all this time to provide medical paperwork? That sounds like you only care about yourself. But oh that is right....you have done "nothing wrong" Sounds to me like you are not telling the truth!!!

My ex does anyting he can to pay his child support. He would never treat our children like dirt and not pay any support. Everything you have said Jolene is that you want to talk to your children but not work for them! Child support is for the children! I can't believe the type of parent you are by not wanting to work to provide support to the children. You give women a bad name and I am ashamed to hear that you would do such a thing.

[ocean]

Wow...your first post is that?
This lady is just went through a disability, was forced to move, and currently can not work due to the disability. While she is going through that her ex, is refusing contact with kids. Hopefully she is able to get disability which would be great for the kids as they will get payments directed to them. This is a federal program that you pay into with every paycheck. She is entitled to this money and so are their kids (if she is truly disabled).

[Kelly Smith]

Ocean: Where does it say that she was forced to move? My dislike is parents that refuse to pay thier children child support. If she claims to have been in an accident in Dec why didn't she start the paperwork in Jan to help the children out. She also stated that she has talked to the children and then says that her ex won't let her talk to the children in her post.....which is it. If she is disabled then why didn't she call childsupport in which ever state and let them know? Sounds very fishy to me.