The Never Ending Drama.....

[Beantowngal]

Our court date for the contempt was last Monday.  Attorney was ill, so it is postponed to 12/6!!  Not sure this old gramma will make it that long!
During mediation BM requested we let her know when going out of the county.  We go frequently to football games, relatives, shopping, attractions, family reunions etc. 1 to 5 counties away.  Always a day trip.  Never have had a problem.  We live 35 miles from the state line.  Saturday, we let BM know we were going to that state to a popular fun restaurant....2 counties, 45 minutes away, but in another state.  Well. she didn't like it!  Got a nasty text.  When we took him home today we got a signed paper that states we do not have permission to take him out of the county without written permission.  Once again this is not addressed in our agreement.  I will take to our attorney next week.   I am not sure of her motivation other than to be nasty.  This child is 10 years old, loves to go with us.  We are property owners with deep ties to the area...not going to run off with him at all.  What am I not seeing?
BM also is not attending any court ordered counseling sessions.  She will not return the counselers call to schedule so case is closed.  Hoping if we ever get to court this changes.  There is no need for any of this behavior.
We go to probate court tomorrow.  she has accused us of selling my son's property and using the money.  This is the same woman that has not signed any of the probate papers and we have had to have a hearing for everything.  My son's possessions are all in sorage with us paying.  She also complained that she was not given the opportunity to go through his things, and we did not give her half of the memorial contributions.  She went so far as to call my son's former employer to ask how much they gave and not to give any more.  She and current hubby have just moved for the 3rd time in 6 months after an eviction.  I fear my grandson will never see the money his father meant for him.
This is never going to end is it?

[ocean]

Many of us learned that you can not be nice. So, plan you time with him, take him wherever, and let her freak out after. Ignore all calls, keep voicemails and letters. If the court order does not address it, you are not breaking any laws.
Family court gets postpones for months into years.
Court tomorrow, if it looks like she may get some money, ask that it be put into a trust that child gets when he is 25 or that you be executor -give money as needed.

[Beantowngal]

We can do that, however how do I do that without putting the child in the middle?  He is 10 and well schooled in all of the "rules".  He sees mom as the victim, very defensive of her.  We try to go above and beyond so he is not in a position where he feels conflict or the need to defend.
BM will freak if we do this. Not sure what to expect from her.  Really beginning to wonder about her mental stability and the effect on this child.

[ocean]

Do not tell child either, just say we are going out to eat or to xx house when the times comes. If child talks to mom in the morning, just say you do not know what you are doing yet, then talk about it after the phone call. Then child will go home and just say, we went to xx house, or out to eat.

Does she have a lawyer?

[Beantowngal]

Court today was uneventful.  The judge explained how it worked, and asked her if she wanted to spend more of her son's money. She withdrew her complaint against me.  I know she will have control over a $100,000. trust fund for the child.  He will have access at 18.  Hope the court moniters his money.
She does not have an attorney at this time.  I think, including the divorce, she has had and dismissed 5 attorneys.  I am expecting her to plead indigent and ask for an attorney.
Interesting note, I looked on the clerk of courts website today, her current husband 's name popped up.  He goes to court for contempt with one of this exwives 11/5. ( they are 37 and 4th marriage for each of them)  This looked like his 7th or 8th contempt which had included some previous jail time.  I think his is due more to not paying support.  This, along with the fact they were just evicted from a rental (3rd move in 9 months) scares me with the money that is for my grandson.  They also receive $989. per month for him from social security.  I do not believe much of that is going for him.  Last winter he did not have a winter coat, until I bought one for him. he is not seeing the specialist his pediatrition referred him to last April

[Spaceman1982]

Court today was uneventful.  The judge explained how it worked, and asked her if she wanted to spend more of her son's money. She withdrew her complaint against me.  I know she will have control over a $100,000. trust fund for the child.  He will have access at 18.  Hope the court moniters his money.
She does not have an attorney at this time.  I think, including the divorce, she has had and dismissed 5 attorneys.  I am expecting her to plead indigent and ask for an attorney.
Interesting note, I looked on the clerk of courts website today, her current husband 's name popped up.  He goes to court for contempt with one of this exwives 11/5. ( they are 37 and 4th marriage for each of them)  This looked like his 7th or 8th contempt which had included some previous jail time.  I think his is due more to not paying support.  This, along with the fact they were just evicted from a rental (3rd move in 9 months) scares me with the money that is for my grandson.  They also receive $989. per month for him from social security.  I do not believe much of that is going for him.  Last winter he did not have a winter coat, until I bought one for him. he is not seeing the specialist his pediatrition referred him to last April

did the dad leave the money to you in his will??

[Beantowngal]

There was no will.  Two life insurance policies, each left to one of the minor children.  The guardian of the policy is the guardian of the child.   Wish insurance companies would educate the people they sell policies to.  Never leave something to a minor....leave it to an adult you trust for the care and well being of said minor.

[tigger]

There was no will.  Two life insurance policies, each left to one of the minor children.  The guardian of the policy is the guardian of the child.   Wish insurance companies would educate the people they sell policies to.  Never leave something to a minor....leave it to an adult you trust for the care and well being of said minor.

Exactly why my brother has always been the beneficiary of my life insurance and not my kids.  I've left instructions for him in writing.

[Beantowngal]

Wise decision Tigger.  My son would not have done this had he known his ex would control the money.