Unwritten grace period

[Remi2]

Is there an unwritten rule in Family court that when it comes to court orders/visitation schedules?  This is what I told by a police officer.  For instance, even though the court order clearly states that pick up times for weekday visitation are 3:00pm until 8:00pm, that the parent returning the child is not considered late until they are returned after 9:00pm because their is an unwritten rule that parents, NCP or CP, have an hour grace period after the designated drop-off time. 

I follow the court order to a "T".  However, the NCP has made a habit of returning the child late.  Would you advise that I just ignore the late times because in the eyes of the court it doesn't really matter even if it is a continued pattern?  I am following the court order however it seems like the NCP does not have to follow the court order. 

 

[tigger]

I think there's an understanding that there are times when traffic, circumstances, etc. prevent a timely return.  However, if it's a pattern that interferes with the children's schedule then I think you could bring it up during a future hearing.  I wouldn't go to court over that one thing. 

My ex was routinely late bringing home the boys.  20 minutes late almost every Tues. and Thurs. night visit.  (He was usually on time Sundays.) Tues and Thurs his visitations were at his parents' home who lived less than a minute from me.   Absolutely no excuse for it.  However, I let it go because it didn't really interfere with the boys as they were usually bathed by Granny and I still had 40 minutes to get them settled and in bed.  When he decided to take me back to court, I asked that the return time be enforced as there was nothing to prevent him from bringing them back on time.  He in turn called into question why I would run errands when he brought the boys home. (Whatever, it was a 5 minute trip to the convenience store to get them something to drink and a snack.  Not necessary but useful in that it was routine, they couldn't run off to their room and it gave us time to reconnect in a limited space.)  I offered to pick up the boys from the grandparents' on those nights but since he wanted to restrict me from taking them anywhere else he agreed to bring them home on time if I agreed to not leave my home once they got there. 

[Remi2]

Thanks.  Your story sound similar returned on time on weekends (Sundays) but late during the week.  I understand things can and sometimes do happen but the NCP does not email, call or send text that he is running late.  The child is 4 yr. old and when she is returned home late it pushes back the bedtime schedule/rotuine and she ends up going to bed late. 

[MixedBag]

I agree....

1.  You gotta show a pattern.

2.  You gotta show it hurts the child.

3.  You gotta learn to pick and choose your battles particularly when it comes to going to court.

This behavior is something that you hang on to and when there's a bigger problem......deal with that, and tag this on.

[sillystring]

Next time you go to court over something, request for it to be changed so that the parent getting the child is the one to do pick-ups. This is what we have done and it has been a sanity-saver! My husband's ex was always late when she was supposed to drop off DSD (yet early when she had to pick her up, go figure).