Starting the divorce process

[jamello]

I am needing someone with a similar experience to shed some light for me.  I have been married for 4 years.  My soon to be ex had a daughter from a previous relationship.  I entered when the child was 5 and she is now 10.  The child has had behavioral issues all along and is really disrespectful to her mother.  Long story short we have since had 2 children of our own and she mistreats them terribly.  I am really concerned with their well being.  Besides that my wife sees nothing wrong and is not willing to discipline her.  My wife and I have really grown apart and we need to separate before things start to get out of hand.  Have any of you gone through this and what was the outcome of your separation?  Throw me a bone on this one please!

[CustodyIQ]

Hi,

It's time for you to start reading some books, in addition to websites like this one.

As part of your separation, you can request a custody evaluation to ascertain the impact of the older child on the younger two.  An evaluator can make a report to a judge as to what is in the best interest of the younger two kids.  That would make much sense, if it's as bad as you describe.

But the first step is for you to really educate yourself as to what to expect and how to position what you feel is best for your two kids.

Posting here is only the beginning (a good beginning, but only the beginning).

[4honor]

I have a SS who was 5 when I met his father, 6 when we married and 7 when his first younger sibling was born. Over the years (our 10 year anniversary is in November), he has pushed his toddler brother out of a parked vehicle (resulting in a head injury), taken a rusty hanger and poked holes in the back of DS1' hand, beat DS1 with a plastic rod until welts developed up and down his legs and back, tried to strangle DS1 and DS2 on separate occassions and lastly, raped and sodomized them both for about 18 months.

SS has been tried and plead guilty of Rape of a Child in the first degree. He no longer has contact at all with DS1 and DS2. They have been in counseling and are dooing OK at this time. SS is in treatment and is on probation with 0 chances left --he keeps messing up things like getting to his probation officer's meeting.

We have not been back to court with regard to vistation, as there are so many stipulations on SS that it is a crap shoot as to when DH can see SS (away from our home- at our added expense I might add). BM has been alienating since before I got involved with DH. So, there is no help for you there.

The thing is, Children are easily manipulated. The lack of discipline now is a precursor to what you will likley see in the future. A child will push the limits until they push back. Sounds like a hard road ahead. My prayers go out to you and your children.