Quick Question re PHDs or counselors for a child

[Heston]

It would be very helpful to get some input on this one thing.  After lots of problems with an unqualified and nightmare counselor the court ordered a PHD.  Long wait to get the BM to comply.  Then a specific PHD is appointed in a subsequent hearing.  The BM fails to take the child to the first appointment.  I had left a previous voicemail with the PHD stating that I would like to arrange to see her to discuss the case.  The day of the missed apt, the PHD calls and leaves a voicemail stating that she is sorry she cannot speak with me or see me.  She says her first duty is to her client and that her client is the BM.  Ironic really, since it was my research and me that put her name forward!  She says she understands my concern but she cannot due to ethics and law, speak to me unless the BM signs a release, which she is unwilling to do.  It is obvious the BM told the PHD the same story she tells everyone else.  I don't know the story because it makes everyone unwilling to speak to me, but I am guessing its the same old story to everyone.  The BM does not want me to have input as she does not want a PHD knowing the truth of what is going on.  The BM takes over like this with any professionals involved in the case and stops me having a voice and more to the point, stops them knowing all the terrible things she is doing to the child, preventing visits and so on.  This ensures she can continue to lie and have professionals back her up as they believe her and due to our great family court system it works for her.

I would have thought a PHD or any sort of counselor would need to hear from both parents in order to know what is going on so they are able to help the child.  I wondered if its normal for PHDs or counselors to have allegience with the mom and refuse to see the dad.  To me it seems unethical but I am wondering if its normal.  Any imput from others with experience of this would be very helpful as I am preparing for court.  Many thanks

[tigger]

When my son was court ordered into counseling, HE was the client, not me or my ex. 

What EXACTLY does it say in the court papers regarding the counseling?  If it specifically states that the child needs to be in counseling, I would send that to the counselor along with a letter clarifying that the child is the client and that input from both parents is needed in order for her to be accurately treated.

[Heston]

Thanks.  The Order states the child is to see a PhD psychological and that the parents are to see a parental coordinator.  I would have thought the same as you said, that the child is the client.  And I would have thought a psychologist would need to see both parents.  But this PHD states that she will not see me unless the BM gives her written consent and that her first duty is to the BM as she is the client.  It is just one more obstacle.  The BM seized upon that plus another issue of her creating, and filed a new motion against me.  I have been following the Order to the letter, but it seems to make no difference. 

[ocean]

Send the court order, mom probably did not share the court order. See if that gets you anywhere, if not then ask the courts to clarify order that father has right to speak and be at any therapists sessions that therapist sets up as mother has refused to allow dr to call father.

[tigger]

ask the courts to clarify order that father has right to speak and be at any therapists sessions that therapist sets up as mother has refused to allow dr to call father.

Change that to clarify that the THERAPIST has the OBLIGATION AND RESPONSIBILITY to speak with the father without bias created by the mother.

[Heston]

I would like to send a copy of the CO, particularly the joint custody one, as well as the one stating she should be the therapist for the child, but the PhD has said she does not want me to send her anything or call her again, so I think if I did, it may make things worse.  I am going to ask the court to clarify that both parents should speak to the child's therapists and have the right to attend sessions.  The BM does not want me to see anyone treating the child because if I did, and the therapist knew what was really going on, she might be held accountable.  So instead the BM makes it impossible, then creates lies and files new orders.  The BM goes to any lengths to prevent me from being able to use a therapist as a witness, as she does when she tells the child to lie to the therapists of her choosing.  The sad part is, she has an uncanny knack of getting these so-called professionals on her side.  But then I guess I should expect nothing less from an alienator - she's an expert at it : (  Thanks for that extra suggestion : )