New to all this- my summary please help

[GreatDadofTwo]

This is my summary- forgive me if I mess up.  I feel like I was just hit by a truck!  I welcome your thoughts and prayers.  My wife of 19 years told me a week ago that she wants a divorce. She says she just does not love me anymore and are different people now.  We have two kids- 15 and 11.  Since about 2005 I have been a stay at home dad working part-time hours but some extended periods of no income.  I have been the primary caregiver to my two kids. I have been an excellent dad. We are keeping up appearances until school is out.  I have been asking for her to reconsider and to try to work things out or start fresh but she has decided it is over.

I REALLY do not know how this divorce thing happens.  I have a lot of learning to do.  I saw on one post to see articles and first aid kit but I have not found it yet.  My fear is that I will be the one forced out of the family and our house.  I feel down emotionally and career wise.  I worry when/if she gets a lawyer that his/her advise will push me down.  I worry wife will empty savings and leave me nothing to hire a lawyer with but if I pull money that will start a negative action on her part.  I can see us having pretty even custody but I believe (emotionally) we should sell the house we live in together. It is a symbol of what is going on- it needs a lot of repair. I don't believe the kids have a connection to this house but they do to the neighborhood.  Ok- I'm feeling the truck that ran over me and I'm rambling. 

Please let me know your thoughts and things I should and should not do to mess up my position.  I've started a diary of the things I'm doing to assist ours kids on a daily basis. I welcome all thoughts from moderators and users alike.
Sincerely, 

[Mom1Step2]

I would say first, do not be the one to move out of the house. Keeping up appearances is fine, but once it is time to make the move to let the kids know & to actually split up, do not leave the house & the kids.
If you have been the primary care giver, continue to do so. The kids need this continuance in their lives. Additionally, keeping the status quo will make it more likely to stay the same in the future.
If you are the one to leave the house & you leave the kids behind, it looks like your decision.
Good luck.

[Waylon]

Start reading these immediately:

http://deltabravo.net/custody/protect.php

http://deltabravo.net/custody/thelist.php

http://deltabravo.net/custody/survivalguide.php

[GreatDadofTwo]

Thank you for the help.  I did read those articles in detail. Wow! This is really a tough thing to deal with- especially being the one that really does not want it to happen.

[Waylon]

Yep, there's a lot more to read...try and read as much of the stuff that's relevant to your situation as you can. The more you know the better prepared you'll be and the better off you'll be.