Grandparent Visitation Rights

[trangert418]

The state of Virginia has no statute regarding grandparents visitation rights. But the court CAN award visitation. Anyone here had any experience with this? It can be any state that is similar in that there is no statute.

[ocean]

Usually it is when the parent is not around for whatever reason, the grandparents take over the parents visitation. If both parents are seeing child then they can deny their own parent visitation usually.

[trangert418]

Well......this is the sad story. 10 years ago I was involved in a visitation / custody dispute with my ex-wife. She did whatever she had to do to see that she ruined the relationship between me and my kids. After 3-4 years and a LOT of $$$ later, with the court not enforcing their own visitation order, I gave up. It was mentally draining and I could no longer beat my head against the brick wall known as the family court system. I didn't see my kids for about 2 years. I was told by many that eventually my kids would realize the truth. I didn't believe it but they were right. "I" now have an excellent relationship with my kids. Today only 1 of my 3 kids even speaks to their mother and that is the one who was not involved in the custody dispute. My kids are adults now and they "escaped" from their mother as soon as they were mentally ready to. I compare this to how I have heard abused spouses say it's not as easy as people think to leave their abusive spouse.

Fast forward. I now have a 10 month old grandson. Grandma was there when he was born, against the wishes of the parents, and has seen him only a few times and not in about 8 months. This is the wishes of both parents. I don't 100% agree with them but I also have to add that grandma brought this on herself. Does a grandchild deserve not to have his grandmother in his life? NO! Does a parent have to subject her & his child to a grandparent that has been diagnosed with mental issues, physically and verbally abused her own children, talked badly about her own children's father and his family when they were kids, has attempted suicide, attempted to assault her grandson's father, continually violated court orders, etc, etc, etc. The list goes on.

Grandma has now filed for visitation rights. 1st day in court was last week. My daughter and son-in-law now have to submit to a "home study" (requested by grandma) at THEIR expense. A Guardian Ad Litum was appointed for the child at THEIR expense. They may be subjected to psychological evaluations at THEIR expense. They will most likely hire a lawyer (biggest expense).

This is absurd. I have read about the case in Washington state involving grandparent visitation. The Supreme Court said this:

The Supreme Court affirmed the decision of the Supreme Court of Washington. The heart of the decision is a statement that "fit parents" are presumed to act in their children's best interests. The state should not, therefore, "inject itself into the private realm of the family" to question the decisions of those parents

This seems so cut and dry. Grandma shouldn't have a chance in h*** of getting visitation. But I dealt with the family court system (the same one) 10 years ago and that's what scares me.

[careyrn]

Pretty much "grandparent visitation" centers around a recent Supreme Court ruling from the case Troxel V Granville, which you may want to familiarize yourself with via google.  Basically most states have adopted that visitation by grandparents must be "in the best interest" of the child.  (duh!)....though I know all grandparents are not "good" ones, it seems to me (and I am going through this now) that better provisions need to be made which don't cause such stress on the child, not to mention a wait of almost 9 months and counting.  There are websites on it, but none that are really much help.....your best shot is going before a judge, cooperating with all the pre-trial hoopla and prove why it is in their best interest to maintain a relationship with you.  Good luck!

[Kitty C.]

This might be a twist to things, but you might want to suggest to the parents that they ask their atty. to ask for all fees and charges from the grandmother, IF she fails in her attempt at visitation.  Her being informed of this up front just might deter her from pushing this issue way too far.  If she knows ahead of time that she could be footing the ENTIRE bill (home study, GAL, psych evals, atty. fees, etc.) if she fails to get visitation ordered, she just might back out.  It's called hitting her where it hurts most.  But the parents' atty. would be the best one to ask about this.