Parenting rights

[Justabovewater]

It has been 6 months since the court has ordered Joint Custody with my EX as the residential custody parent. I have been keeping a log day to day the contact that we have had. She has made many decisions about the kids without talking to me. From my understanding what my Attorney has told me, she is supposed to visit with me about everything except the children's day to day functions. I have a list as long as my leg of things that she has not communicated to me. Such as, I was told my son is now playing basketball. He is now in Boy scouts. My daughter is in Gymnastics, Dance, and she even wears glasses. I see my kids every other weekend and every weekend there is something new. I have tried to communicate to her that she has to at least ask my opinion of this before she enrolls them in anything and I should know about Dr. appointments so that I might be able to make them. I was even told at my sons Christmas, which my Ex was out of town for, by her New Husband That my Daughter could not sit beside me during the concert.

With them still being in school I don't want to disrupt their lives right now. Summer is coming and I'm thinking about taking her back to court to try to get custody of them on the grounds that they are interfering with me being a father to my children. My Question is, is it too soon? Will the courts think I am being petty? IF it is too soon, When is it not too soon?

[MixedBag]

some of that is so normal.....not appropriate, but normal.


I think you have to find backdoor solutions vs. taking her to her "so fast".


Like call the doctor and ask them to put a note in the file that IF the child has an appointment -- to call you too. 


If there's an on-going medical situation, call once a month to see if the child has an appointment.


YES, the other parent is supposed to tell you -- communicate, etc.....but don't hold your breath.


Down the road, when you have a great reason (like being denied TIME) add this to the list.


That's my humble opinion......

[ocean]

Agree, very normal. The only thing that can maybe halt it a little is if she is asking you to pay part of the activities or if the activities are on your parenting time. You can ask the courts that you are not required to pay your share unless she gives you notice/say in that activity before it starts. If she is trying to fill your weekend time, you can get it court ordered to that mom not allowed to sign up kids for activities on dad's parenting time. If she does, you need to make a judgement call. You are the parent too, so that is bringing kids to activities. However when it is too much or if you have family obligation, that comes first.

Use the activities to see kids more. Go to them     Go to dance class, see if you can help the leader in boy scouts, see if you can help coach or just be there for the basketball games.

This communication issue is not enough to change custody and may even back fire on you in court. The judge may say you both can not co-parent and give her sole legal decision making.