custodial father divorcing stepmom, wants child to live with stepmom

[silverbullet]

I am NCM, every other weekend, mid week visitation with my 13 year old daughter.

Her father has moved out of state, and is residing almost 5 hours from her residence.  He has left her with her stepmother.  I live 1 hour away in another state as well.  Per the court order, neither parent can remove the child from the residence without court permission if either parent disagrees with the move.  I don't agree, and have filed papers in court.  In the meantime, she's living with her stepmother, seeing me and her father every other weekend.  Any ideas on how to speed up the court process.  She's not living with EITHER parent!  He claims that this arrangement is best since her half siblings will be staying with stepmom and doesn't want to split the kids up.  He moved out Aug 2006, and i am ok with not splitting up the children, but I believe that he should take full custody of all the children if he wants to keep them together.  I would be delighted to have my daughter back, and she knows she is welcome here as well.

Any ideas on how to speed up court to get my daughter back with a parent.  I don't want kidnapping charges filed on me.


Take an interest in your future.  You'll be spending a great deal of time there.

[janM]

When did you find out about this? And when did you file papers?

I would ask socrateaser, but I would think that would warrant an exparte hearing, due to her father abandoning her and that is a huge change in circumstances. Unless the judge would be reluctant to change her living arrangement, I would think she should be with one of her legal parents. JMHO.

[silverbullet]

I actually posted to Socrateaser after reading other messages on the board.  We found out Aug 2006 this would happen, we filed Sep 2006.  Due to the continual "Motions to dismiss" we are still waiting on a hearing.
Thanks for a response.  I'll ask my lawyer about an exparte hearing today.

[williaer]

I guess my feeling on it is- if this woman has been doing a good job of raising her and she is happy and well adjusted- why do this to her. I understand that you are her natural parent and that her dad decided to leave the situation- but is it in her best interest to uproot her to another state and change schools and life styles, etc?
I am a step-mom and have 2 biological children of my own- and I can't imagine my children livign with anyone else...however- I'd like to think if that was the case and I had a good relationship with that person and my child was really thriving and doing well (I don't see where you say she isn't )- that I would either chose to move closer to where she is and have more time with her- or keep the status quo- knowing that she's in good hands.

[mistoffolees]

I have to disagree. I was a stepparent for many years and actually raised my stepdaughters far more than their father did. If my wife had died or left the household for any reason, I wouldn't have had any reason to expect that I would keep the kids - even though I was an exemplary 'father' in every way. It would have hurt me like crazy, but I would have to say that the best interestes of the kids are to be with their parents.

Kids belong with their parents unless the parents are unfit. If the father took off, the kids should go to the mother - unless she's unfit.

Just my $0.02.