dad wtih custody

[John-J-Jay]

Thanks for you reply.
Yes, she would file a motion to "try" to modify custody as a retalitory measure. However, from all I've read and heard she wouldn't be successful. Her main thing is she told me she would try to show me as not being stable because my 2nd marriage failed. But other than that she doesn't have anything to go on and i doubt a judge would move a 10 yr old that's been in the same home, environment etc all her life. as you said they want to preserve the "status quo".

my ex beleives that because she is the mother she still has the upper hand even after many of years. I hope having 7 1/2 yrs under me speaks volums in court.

[John-J-Jay]

Thank you very much for your response.

She hasn't filed a motion for a modification of custody at this time. she has just mouthed the word to me. My atty has objected to almost all her request for discovery etc because the stuff she was asking for is irrevelant such as a credit score.

Going back to the school issue my child hasn't missed a day of school in two years nor been tardy ever. I think all she is doing is trying to imtimidate a father who has custody. I truly beleive that the court also wouldn't move a child 960 miles away from the only parent that has been there for her each and everyday of her life other than when she is gone on visits. I truly love my child and try to do what's best for her at all times.

[Giggles]

AND you may even get the court to stipulate that SHE pays attorney's fees...might put a kibosh on her filing for it!!

[John-J-Jay]

that's a good point. have a stipulation entered in the event of a frivilous motion being filed.

[John-J-Jay]

does anyone know if it is a given that the primary care giver has the upper hand in custody disputes?

my question for asking the board is, I have a hearing coming up for child support and to move to standard visitation and I'm sitting on pins and needles at this time. I'm concern because I have fear of her turning this into a custody battle, since I'm asking for child support. I've raised my child all her life.

what are the chances of her mother ever regaining custody after I've had her for 10 yrs with a perfect record? what would it take for her to win and for the courts to allow her to move my child 1000+ miles away from everything she has ever known?

[Jade]

>does anyone know if it is a given that the primary care giver
>has the upper hand in custody disputes?
>
>my question for asking the board is, I have a hearing coming
>up for child support and to move to standard visitation and
>I'm sitting on pins and needles at this time. I'm concern
>because I have fear of her turning this into a custody battle,
>since I'm asking for child support. I've raised my child all
>her life.
>
>what are the chances of her mother ever regaining custody
>after I've had her for 10 yrs with a perfect record? what
>would it take for her to win and for the courts to allow her
>to move my child 1000+ miles away from everything she has ever
>known?
>

Hopefully, her chances aren't good.  It would be too disruptive in your child's life.

I think that the courts aren't going to change custody when the child is thriving.  A lawyer would be a better person to ask.

[Mamacass]

I think you can relax.  The child's mother is going to have to show a change in circumstance to get custody.  And not a change in HER circumstance, but a change in YOURS.  So as long as everything is fine at your house, the courts aren't going to change custody.  The courts want to stay with the norm unless the norm is harmful to the child.  You do have the upper hand.  

[John-J-Jay]

did you read my 1st entry on the log?

Do you personally think that even though my home is very stable job, chruch, community, friends, my child makes the A, B honor roll and hasn't missed school in two years nor has she been tardy, etc.

Can my 1st ex-wife and use the fact my 2nd wife and i got a divorce against me? We didn't have any problems the 2nd marriage just didn't work.

Thanks for your thoughts.

[Kitty C.]

No, because she would have to PROVE that the divorce had a detrimental effect on your child.........and you KNOW she can't!  The court doesn't care if you got a divorce, only how everything effects the child.

[John-J-Jay]

yesterday when my atty and I spoke I feel like he is not shooting it straight with me. My ex wife moved away 8 yrs ago 1000+ miles away. I haven't rec'd child support in 4 yrs nor have I had time with my child during the holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas or summer) she is now 10 and I've missed out on holiday memories. He advised me that the child support is not a gurantee because she has to buy airline tickets, however SHE'S the one who moved not me. I've stayed on the east coast the entire time.  Regarding holidays his comments was why do you want holidays when you have her the during the school year, yet my ex makes our child travel twice a month to her place leaving on a Friday night and coming back late on a Sunday night. I know if men should pay so should women and this mother doesn't pay anything nor does she send our child anything in the mail, it's not a gender thing it's about child support it's about the child and it should also be about the child regarding the holidays.

what is the boards thoughts on child support and holidays? also does anyone know if a party can request the court to do a psychological evaluation on the other parent?