dad wtih custody

[Mamacass]

I could be wrong here, but if she keeps dragging it out, and it is driving your cost up, you should be able to request that she pay your attorney's fees.  This might give her a reason to quit dragging it out.  
Also, I could be wrong here too, but I think you can request the support order be back dated to the date you filed.  I want to say that I remember hearing once that courts will sometimes date the order back to the date you filed.  That way the other party can't drag it out in hopes of saving money, and also that way the kids get the money they are entitled to.  Make sure your attorney asks for the child support order to include the last 5 months.  

[mistoffolees]

You are correct on both counts. Depending on the situation, it may be hard to collect the legal fees unless she's EXTREMELY obvious about delaying matters, but child support back to the date of filing should be nearly automatic.

[notnew]

The motion to compel is a normal part of the process and they have to follow the required steps regardless of what your attorney filed. Obviously, the judge hasn't ruled on your attorney's objection to the discovery requests.

You will have to wait until the court order comes through to see what the court will order you to do or not do.

There is a loophole in discovery law (if you have part or all of the documents), that you can respond by stating in a filing that all requested (or listed documents) are available for review at your attorney's office by appointment and at their expense. What she is doing is driving up  your costs and trying to win by beating you down.

I saw Soc's response to you earlier on this, he knows what he is talking about. This is not as big a deal as you think it is. Yes, redact information if you feel it is necessary. They most likely aren't looking for anything, just trying to be a pain in the ass and the rules of discovery allow them to be that way. It is up to the court to either put them in their place, or order you to produce the documents.

[notnew]

My ex hasn't provided ONE piece of required documentation in over 7 years of legal battles and the court hasn't called her on it EVER!

Snakes will find a way every time.

[John-J-Jay]

thank you for your response.

Yes the issue on discovery isn't finished. I'm puzzled as to why they are seeking certain docuements. i haven't been married to her for 8 years and i'm the one seeking child support since i'm the custodial parent. I suppose you are right they are trying to beat me down. But over the last 5 months she hasn't counter sued me for custody which i'm suprised because she told me if i was going to go for child support she would file a motion for custody.  I suppose she knows she doens't have grounds to file a motion for cusotdy otherwise she would have already done so.

i just don't get the delay and the discovery issues.

[mistoffolees]

As I said, some people just like to drag things out.

Things to watch out for:

1. She may be fishing. For example, is she looking for evidence of unsavory or unsafe activity (for example, if you had joined a cult and donated money to them or something). Seems pretty far-fetched, but if the fishing expedition isn't costing her anything, why not? (my stbx used this one).

2. She may be trying to establish your financial health to reduce her support obligations. The more money you have, the less you presumably need her money.

3. She may be looking for places she can obtain leverage. You've already pointed out that she might get your family's phone numbers to call them (my stbx used this one, too).

As for the rest, I don't believe you have any obligation to provide information you don't have if it's burdensome to get it. If she really wants your cell phone records, she can subpoena them from the phone company - although you have the right to object.

Personally, I'd file with the court for her to pay all your legal expenses because her requests were unduly burdensome.

[John-J-Jay]

I'm thinking about having my atty file a amended motion not only to get my ex to pay child support but also to go for full custody instead of joint that we currently have. My ex hasn't paid CS in over 4 yrs, she doesn't pay for any medical, clothing, school supplies absolutely nothing, she might call once a week at the most. Yet she thinks she should have custody back after 8 yrs. my 1st ex wife and my 2nd are continuously harassing me. making despairing comments to my 10 yr old while she is visiting her mother. In the presence of my child whose 10 yrs old straight A student who can read very well on 6th grade level (she's in 4th right now), they email each other back and fourth and show the emails to her, talk negative about me on the phone etc in the presence of my child. The two ex's are placing my child from my 1st marriage into a bad situation by placing her in the middle.

1. What do I have to prove to get full custody rather than joint which we currently have (I had custody for 8 strong years)

2 Can I get go after my two ex's for liable and slander (while I was married to my 2nd wife she never spoke to my 1st it only happened after she left) for making despairing comments about me to my child? I know it would be hard to prove but I have emails to confirm some.

3. can I get my ex's parental rights revoked?

4. anyone have any idea on how the court would view them two attaking me at all ends?

[mistoffolees]

>
>1. What do I have to prove to get full custody rather than
>joint which we currently have (I had custody for 8 strong
>years)

You have to show that it would be in the child's best interest. Given that studies have shown repeatedly that frequent contact with both parents is much better for the kids, this is hard to do.

If you decide to pursue it, I would suggest that you build a strong parenting plan which involves regular and frequent visitation for thi child's other parent. IMHO, the judge is more likely to give you full custody if you're willing to keep the other parent involved.

>
>2 Can I get go after my two ex's for liable and slander (while
>I was married to my 2nd wife she never spoke to my 1st it only
>happened after she left) for making despairing comments about
>me to my child? I know it would be hard to prove but I have
>emails to confirm some.

It's going to be hard to prove libel and even harder to collect. I would suggest that when you go to court to clarify issues you insist on wording involving parental alienation. My state actually has specific wording in the relevant laws.

>
>3. can I get my ex's parental rights revoked?

Not likely from what you've described. Parental alienation is not grounds for revoking parental rights. If it's severe enough, it COULD be grounds for insisting on supervised visitation.

>
>4. anyone have any idea on how the court would view them two
>attaking me at all ends?

In gneral, the courts take parental alienation pretty seriously - at least most courts do. Keep in mind that if you can't prove it, it never happened as far as the court is concerned. Check with your attorney on admissibility of email evidence.

If you are able to prove that significant parental alienation occurs, it might be grounds for sole custody and / or supervision of her visitation. I don't know how the real world compares to that theory, though.

[Jade]

>2 Can I get go after my two ex's for liable and slander (while
>I was married to my 2nd wife she never spoke to my 1st it only
>happened after she left) for making despairing comments about
>me to my child? I know it would be hard to prove but I have
>emails to confirm some.


Probably not unless you have ironclad proof.  

If it is any consolation, it is your ex that will end up regretting her actions in the long run.  My parents are divorced.  My father really bad mouthed my mom.  My mom took the high road (this isn't to say that she was a good mother, she wasn't, but she didn't badmouth my father).

While my relationship with my mother works better when we barely talk and live 2000 miles apart, we do still have a relationship.  I haven't talked to my father in 22 years by my choice.  He never met my ex nor has he (nor will he) met my children.  

All you can do is keep your promises to your child and fight for your child.  Your child will come to realize what her mother is like on her own and make up her own mind about her mother.  


>
>3. can I get my ex's parental rights revoked?

I seriously doubt it.  

[John-J-Jay]

my ex is now stalking me.

I've had custody for 10 years now that my atty has petitioned the courts for child support that my ex hasn't paid in 4 years. my ex wife is becoming ridiculous. She's emailing organizations within our community that she knows I'm part of asking about times I'll be there when I leave etc. my child plays sports in our town and she has emailed the organization we are part of for practice times dates etc. However, I coach her team and I've already supplied that information. She has even gone as far to email parents on our team asking personal questions about our team, when we will be at certain places and the times. I'm concern as to the welfare of my child. I'm concern as to the welfare of myself as well. she is also stalking me via the internet by accessing my credit report, mortgage, etc. I have proof that this has happened because she will be smart and email me harassing me about this and that.

1.   Can I get a protective order? if so what good do they do?
2.   I'm the CP can I get supervised visitation for her until the courts can rule on her mental state?
3.   I've feared her attempting to file for custody but these are the exact reason why she should not be granted custody. Do you agree being I've had my child for 10 yrs now.
4.             how would a judge view the stunts she's pulling?