Overweight child + issues = Neglect?

[superdad01]

I have a issue that is bigger then the thread title can describe. First off, after everything I have seen I can honestly say I don't have a ton of faith in this family court system to deliver what is truly in the best interests of the child.

It seems after years of fighting things have somewhat settled down. But I do not feel our child is in the best environment to thrive. Over the years There has been an obvious ongoing alienation in which the child worships the ground the mother walks on. I often feel like my name is Dad. No special meaning. My name is dad. I realize that if we were to go back to court and the court asked child their preference she would answer mom before they even finished the question.

My household has rules and apparently the mothers does not.

Mother allows a 11 year old child to stay home alone for hours at a time. (No state law on age requirement in MI)
Child is nearing 200lbs and is not interested in being active nor is a healthy lifestyle being promoted to her.
Mom seems to live in a state of denial where a diet of big macs, pizza, and chinese food is approved by her nutritionist friends.

Mother is not promoting a healthy body image for child. Often allows her to dress in ways that are simply just not flattering to the child. Child often does not even look like their hair is combed. Child wants nothing to do with sports gym class.

Mother has a personality in which she feels she knows everything and it is impossible to argue any sense of facts to support your argument because she is automatically right.

Child has a history of poor school attendance. ( I once attempted to admit report cards into evidence, but was denied due to the fact that I could apparently produce my own phony report cards from the school.... LOL  Yeah really...)

Now I know I can't walk into court and say the child is living on the street, or homeless, but at the same time I really feel like her best interests are not being addressed. I feel like I am watching a slow motion car crash and I am the only one screaming for something to happen.

I feel like we all recall those kids that were similar to what I described and I really don't want our child to be that kid in school. These kids are horrible nowdays.

Just feeling pretty lost, in fact it's kinda hard to even put it into words.

No idea if I might have enough to warrant a custody change or not.

[Waylon]

Generally to change custody you need a "substantial change in circumstances (http://deltabravo.net/cms/plugins/content/content.php?content.178)".

I'd agree that what you describe isn't in the child's best interests, but showing that in court AND getting a judge to do anything about it is truly an uphill battle.

[ocean]

I agree, prob not enough for change in custody but you could go for modifications to improve her life.
"father requests the court to order child to see a doctor and nutritionist and mother to be required to follow their instructions, child is 11 years old and xx pounds, father is very concerned on the medical well-being of child".

How many days absent this year? Call her school and ask if any letters were send to mother regarding absences, get a copy. Also ask for a copy of her most recent physical from the school or doctor.

Can you bring child to her dr on one of your parenting days? Get a full work up and report. Make sure there is not a medical issue for gaining the weight.

Try to be active when you have her. Some kids are just not physical. Pre-teens go through a state of eatings/sleeping. Her weight is an issue though but you can only do so much.

Sounds like she is at/almost in middle school. See if you can get her to sign up for activities after school to keep busy. They are usually free and right at school so no driving for mom. Is there anything she wants to do that you can sign her up for?

[superdad01]

I'd agree that what you describe isn't in the child's best interests, but showing that in court AND getting a judge to do anything about it is truly an uphill battle.

Sad isn't it?

Im gonna try and get her to the Doctor asap. I now live nearly 2 hrs from the child and during the school year it's weekend time only until summer where we split it 50/50.

The school also recomended the child be in some sort of counseling and Im gonna try and get that done to. Mother's response to this was she is fine when she is in my care. She aparently has a team of friends who are counselors and nutritionist and as we can tell are doing a outstanding job...

I called the school she is at 12 absences this year so far. I talked to the principal and he says he would look into it. But she should have had some letters sent home. I dunno if she has a person on the inside or what but the childs previous school sent me a letter about all her absences which all of a sudden were excused. They were close to contacting the courts.

I've basically figured out, that anything negative regarding anything is somehow directly my fault...hahaha