Protection Orders

[desperado]

I am in the state of Washington,  My estranged wife filed a protection order that restrains me from Harassing or Stalking or Assaulting her, etc. and I am supposed to stay away from her work and residence.
I respect her boundaries and the law and I keep my distance.

Most of our contact is through attorneys though we have short conversations about the children or issues related to selling our house.

Lately, she has been calling me and initiating talk about "relationship  issues, the marriage, her feelings, etc."  This always goes nowhere and she gets mad and hangs up.  It is upsetting to me and I would prefer to not have to deal with her stuff.

1)  Is she allowed to "violate" her own protection order with impunity?

2)  Do I have to file one in return to get relief from her verbal attacks?

3)  Should I tell her I am recording our phone conversations and I do
     not want to discuss any relationship issues with her?

Desperado

[Ref]

let VM pick it up. Do you have a direct # for your kids such as cell or their own line?

Are you allowed to communicate with BM? I would do everything in writing using email for immediate communications. This will be good enough to cover your butt.

IMO, you are exposing yourself by verbally communicating with BM at all. She could claim you said anything.

Ref

[MixedBag]

I'm on the side of hanging up as soon as she calls.

Tell her "There is a protection order in place and therefore, we can not talk.  Sorry."  And click goes the phone.

Record the calls.

Also use Caller ID and don't even pick up the phone to begin with.

Skip telling her in detail that you don't want to discuss this or that because she isn't gonna listen anyways.

[Sunshine1]

I am curious to know why in knowing all that you do of the BM's history, and obviously having a custody decision made, why the hell is the child in her custody if she had precursors to sexual abuse AND she herself is a predator?  You didn't think the BM was a danger to the child at first?

Two words come immediately to mind.....PSYCH EVAL?  Why on earth is the child still in her custody?  I would have immediate emergency orders done if this was going on.

The longer you wait, the longer it looks like no big deal to you.  You better get a damn good attorney that has dealt with this sort of case before.

[desperado]

My first attorney was a senile idiot and did nothing.

My new attorney is very sharp and motivated and has accomplished alot in a short amount of time.  A Guardian Ad Litem has been appointed, Pysch Evals will be done on both parents and the children have been ordered into counseling.  My STBX has also been ordered to stop taking any sleeping medications or controlled substances.

In my county, allegations of Sexual Abuse are sometimes unfounded and my attorney recommended that we go through the evaluation process which would yield a more conclusive result rather than just calling CPS and having them do a cursory investigation.  CPS in our state has a reputation for sloppy work and poor follow-through and missing the boat.  My attorney feels that evidence revealed to a counselor will be more credible and will have to be acted on in the criminal arena and would not appear that it was just coming from a zealous father.

The gender bias is so strong in my area, people can't seem to believe that a woman could actually abuse a boy,  even though the prison that housed Mary Kay LaTourneau is right down the road from us.

I am anxious and concerned about my son's welfare and I am seeking the best counsel I can from my attorney, 2 different child counselors, and a forensic examiner who works at the sexual assault center.  They have all assured me that everything possible will be done to properly investigate the issues and that I have done the right thing in presenting my concerns in my pleadings to the court.

On a personal note, this situation really sucks and it sickens me to think that Mom could be so selfish as to use my little boy, just like her Dad used her.

I had NO IDEA I was marrying into such a twisted, sick family.

Thanks for your concern,

Desperado

[Sunshine1]

Now that you have elaborated a wee bit more, you no longer sound like you should be slapped up side the head.  You are doing everything in your power to get this child away from his mother.

Isn't there anything you can do in the interim to err on the side of caution like immediate temporary change of custody with supervised visitation for the BM?  Seriously with what you are describing every minute this poor baby is with her, you add on 5 more years of therapy for this child.

The courts are screwed up.  My county seems to be getting better at ignoring the gender biased, but if you get some good ole' boy who's done it his way for the past 20 years your screwed.  As my DH does whenever he needs to go to court for anything.  In the county he was divorced in it retains jurisdiction and the same judge F-O-R-E-V-E-R.

We tried to change the venue and it was denied, even though neither of the parties have lived in that county for the past 7 years nor will they ever probably ever live again.  Judge said " life ain't that easy Mr. DH....DENIED".  So we are waiting for him to either kick the bucket or retire, which should be within the next 2-4 years...retire that is.

There I go off in a totally different direction.... I am sorry you are going through this and I am truly sorry for your child to have to endure this ordeal.  i will be praying for you both.  Please keep us updated.  I am hopeful for your forensic eval.  The truth will come out.

Think of you...Sunshine1  :)