I want my daughter back

[tmm1225]

Can anyone help me? We were never married. I have been recieving child support as primary custody of my children which I was told would be enough if my ex decided to keep my two children. I have never kept my children from seeing thier father in fact for 4 years I only lived 15 minutes away from him. He has not been consitent and has never called before a thursday night to pick up the kids. I have always given him the children even if it wasn't his weekend due to he may have picked them up 3 -4 weeks before that. I have always felt that their father should be involved but I stopped calling , begging and reminding him about how long it had been, come see the kids over the years.

I was in a head on collison back in May of last year , my husband had reenlisted into the military and lived 5 hours from the kids and I. I dwelled on wether or not to keep my job (which was cozy and paid the bills) or to make a change give up eating out and buying designer clothes for the kids and stop one extra activity So I could be home and  to give all my attention to my children. I have met my ex at the halfway point several times since the move and have encouraged him to call the children. I even went so far as to offer to bring the kids to him and then bring them back.

What happened in return is he met me on a friday. Took the kids to his place (which i didn't know the address of) He refused to give me back my daughter and dropped my son off at a mutual friends. I have not seen nor heard from my daughter since. My ex nor his wife will return any of my phone calls. My son cries every night for his sister.

He has taken an exparte out but was having it delivered to the wrong county and the county that the exparte order was issued would not be the correct county due to my children have never lived in that county.

I would have agreed to a trial change of home for them to spend the summer with their father. If he would have listened to reason on that sunday.Due to he has threatened this before but always brought them back after three days.

I have found out that he and his wife have a violent relationship and I'm not surprised because he took a swing or to at me (that's why I left). The son is his he tells everyone that he isn't his ( he did the same thing with my daughter ).

Please I have not heard from her in almost two weeks. I have never not talked to her for more than 2 days. She has only been gone once for two weeks to her grandparents in the last 8 years. NOt only has he hurt me but also 4 sets of grandparents and numerous friends that love and care for these kids as if they are their own.

[Jade]

You need to talk to an attorney ASAP.  

[mistoffolees]

In addition to Jade's suggestion to get an attorney immediately, I have a more immediate suggestion.

Do you have a court order for custody? If so and the father will not return the children, he's in violation of the court order - and needs to suffer the consequences. Take your court order to the police and file a kidnapping report. If they won't do anything and if the father is in a different state, call the FBI. Heck, you might be able to call the FBI even if he lives in your state if you have any reason to believe he might have left the state.

If you don't have a valid court order, then get your attorney to file an emergency ex parte hearing. NOW.

[tmm1225]

I don't have a court order other than the child support paperwork. The police department in that town would not even assist even if I had proof that she was residing with me for this amount of time. The main problem is that he has told friends that I am not allowed to speak with her until the custody is completed ... that could be years. By what I've been seeing. He hasn't left the state he's in a different county. Here's the clincher. She is enrolled in an elementary school on a Dept. of defense base. Somehow he has gotten her enrolled in a different school. She is now enrolled in two schools.



>In addition to Jade's suggestion to get an attorney
>immediately, I have a more immediate suggestion.
>
>Do you have a court order for custody? If so and the father
>will not return the children, he's in violation of the court
>order - and needs to suffer the consequences. Take your court
>order to the police and file a kidnapping report. If they
>won't do anything and if the father is in a different state,
>call the FBI. Heck, you might be able to call the FBI even if
>he lives in your state if you have any reason to believe he
>might have left the state.
>
>If you don't have a valid court order, then get your attorney
>to file an emergency ex parte hearing. NOW.

[mistoffolees]

>I don't have a court order other than the child support
>paperwork. The police department in that town would not even
>assist even if I had proof that she was residing with me for
>this amount of time. The main problem is that he has told
>friends that I am not allowed to speak with her until the
>custody is completed ... that could be years. By what I've
>been seeing. He hasn't left the state he's in a different
>county. Here's the clincher. She is enrolled in an elementary
>school on a Dept. of defense base. Somehow he has gotten her
>enrolled in a different school. She is now enrolled in two
>schools.
>
>

Then you need to get an attorney to file for an emergency order. With a good attorney, you should be able to get something pretty quickly.  If she has been living in your county and going to school in your county, you'll probably get an order returning her to you at least on a temporary basis. Once you have the temporary order, it's going to be hard for him to change it later.

[tmm1225]

Thanks. I'm lucky enough to have had a substantial retirement. Unfortunately I have to wait for the check.

[mistoffolees]

I wouldn't wait. Every day matters. The longer your daughter is at the new school, the more trouble you're going to have getting her back.

Explain your situation to the attorney and tell them you'll pay them on xxx date, but need an immediate ex parte emergency hearing. A good attorney will work with you.

DO NOT DELAY.

[tmm1225]

thanks so much for your info. I'll do that right now.

[notnew]

Are the kids enrolled in school in your county?

Go to the court and file an ex-parte motion for immediate custody. You have proof that the kids have been residing regularly with you for over 6 months.

You mean there is no custody order or CS order in place?

If not, then you may have a tough time.

When no custody is established, then no custody is established.

You need to move quickly.

Why is your son with someone else? Why would he have kept the daughter and dropped the son elsewhere. Is he trying to hide them?

Proof of domestic violence is needed. If there have been charges filed or reports made, then you need to get that information. What you have been told from somebody else is not submissable.

Are you able to care for the kids adequately after your crash?

You don't provide a lot of information that could be helpeful to help determine a better avenue to pursue.

Either way, you need an attorney fast.

[notnew]

Go to the courthouse and file pro-se today. You do not need an attorney to get this started.

You an always bring an attorney on board after you've started, but the longer you wait the harder it will be.

GO TODAY!! Tell the clerk you need to file an emergency motion for custody.

What about your son? Is he with you or what?