Mom Wants to Cut time >50% Again

[Samson2005]

Hi.

Petitioned court to enforce visitation, for specific visitation, and modify visitation (asking for more time and make-up time).

Mom's answer to it all was to submit and request the court to sign off on a schedule that cuts our time by more than 50%... 1wknd/mo, 1 week in summer, almost no holiday time. There was no reason given.

I am prepared to tell the court that her proposed schedule is further evidence of her inability to encourage a close and continuing relationship.

I will die if I leave that court with reduced time as a result of me petitioning for enforcement of visitation.

[mistoffolees]

For what it's worth, that's the way some people react. They think they can scare you into backing down. In the case of my stbx, the more things go against her, the more bizarre her demands.

If she hasn't been giving you the required visitation, your case is probably pretty solid. Does she have any grounds for reducing your visitation time? If not, don't worry about it.

[Samson2005]

Other than having me replaced with a perfectly good stepfather, there is no real reason.  

With her history in mind, she might say anything. She has been lying in court since the beginning. I have documented proof of blatant lies to the court.

[HelpingHands]

Have a prepared printed parenting plan in place.

Actually have a few different versions available- starting with More than you want, what you are actually seeking and then what you'll settle for. Basically,  what you are doing it 'mediating'.  You put up an offer, she puts up an offer, you counter , she modifies and eventually you end up with what you want(or more) to begin with.

If you show that you are willing to  be flexible and are only looking to maximize your child's time with both parents, your judge will see that she's trying to interfere with your time together.

What was your original visitation order? if she's proposing even less, your judge will likely see what she's up to and grant you more visitation. BM did that exact thing every year for the last 7 1/2 years and every single time she tried to limit my time, I ended up with more and eventually custody.

[Samson2005]

Thank you for the responses mistoffolees and helpinghands.

I have been working on a plan that I want.

The present plan is every other weekend, 4 weeks in summer, alternating thanksgiving day, father's day, half of christmas but never christmas day, half of easter break.

her proposed plan to the court is: 1 weekend every 3 weeks beginning on saturday ending sunday, 1 week in summer, alternating TG day, 3 days of christmas break, 3 days of easter break.

[jenkins9]

I just went through the same thing, except the ex tried to have all my visitation taken away. I dont understand what some women think and I really loathe the family courts. How do they expect a dad to build a relationship on 4 days a month and shared holidays. I would offer mediation to her, save on court costs and such. My ex spent over 20,000 trying to keep me from my son. I thank the Lord she lost. Good luck and keep fighting for your rights.

[mistoffolees]

>Other than having me replaced with a perfectly good
>stepfather, there is no real reason.  

Fortunately, that's not a valid reason in most (perhaps all) states.

>
>With her history in mind, she might say anything. She has been
>lying in court since the beginning. I have documented proof of
>blatant lies to the court.

She has to prove her complaint. It's not enough for her to lie, she has to back up her lies with facts. I'm not sure that you'll be able to introduce your evidence unless you can establish the relevance to her claims (for example, if she makes the same lie you caught her at before, you can introduce your evidence. If she makes a NEW lie, I don't believe you can introduce evidence of past lies. I could be wrong about that, though).

Judges are used to people who lie. My stbx is a pathological liar and fortunately everyone involved in the case has seen through her so far.

[Samson2005]

The last time we were in court, she said that daycare had a problem with me picking up the child at school. there was an order drafted that I had to pick up the child from daycare on fridays. I went to the daycare and the administrator wrote a note stating there was no problem with my picking up my child at school. the order was then rewritten.

Previously, all she has to do is say whatever and then I have to chase after evidence to prove her wrong or the court finds for her.

I used to have every weekend until mom decided that she wanted to be able to take the child to church. Our time was then halved. The child has never seen the inside of a church with mom.

[HelpingHands]

How sad to say this but BM did the same thing when we lived near one another. Sundays were cut short because she claimed she took her to church. It was just one more way to limit time and the court bought it hook line and sinker.

[Samson2005]

Mom's atty is taking control of the proceedings and asking for all kinds of financial info. I think that the original petitions will be postponed.  

Would it be prudent to submit an Emergency Petition To Reopen And Modify the Visitation Order to last at least until my petitions can be heard?

One of the grandparents is very ill and has a good relationship with his grandchild but lives many hours away.

It is likely that with the visitation order as it is, the grandparent will be able to see the child only for a day or so during spring break.

Thanks in advance!