Mediation ?

[Samson2005]

Hi,

I was in court the other day and heard we have to see a mediator. The judge approved the opposing atty's suggestion. That was the last I heard. There is no mention of it in the Order that was issued. What-tha-heck-am-I-supposed-to-do-now?

Thanks in advance

[mistoffolees]

>Hi,
>
>I was in court the other day and heard we have to see a
>mediator. The judge approved the opposing atty's suggestion.
>That was the last I heard. There is no mention of it in the
>Order that was issued. What-tha-heck-am-I-supposed-to-do-now?
>
>Thanks in advance


You're bound by the written order. If there's nothing in the court order, then you're probably clear (check with your attorney).

What was the mediator supposed to help you settle? For example, if the court said that you should use mediation to settle child custody and then gave you a written order defining custody, I would think that mediation would be irrelevant.

[becky]

if the opposing party requested it, you would receive a letter from the opposing attorney and the court mediation office mandating your attendance at the first mediation session.  If you fail to appear, you can be charged with contempt.  Mediation would take place and then you would receive a copy of what was agreed upon at mediation.  You can sign or not sign the documents.  If oyu sign, an updated parenting agreement is then signed by the judge and entered into record, then a copy is mailed to you.  I'm confused why an order was issued if mediation was ordered.

[Samson2005]

the order was written to shave 2 hours off my weekend. Mom wants our daughter to go sit home alone after school until I get there at 5pm opposed to me getting her at school when it lets out.

[Samson2005]

I think it is a good idea for other people to hear mom with her poor attitude and agenda to eventually cut me completely out of our daughter's life. - That is unless of course the mediator has a similar attitude and ideas that are contrary to law as mom does.

I wasn't in on discussion about the mediator other than it is supposed to occur.

[mistoffolees]

>the order was written to shave 2 hours off my weekend. Mom
>wants our daughter to go sit home alone after school until I
>get there at 5pm opposed to me getting her at school when it
>lets out.

But that doesn't explain why the court also said that you need to go to mediation.

What I'm saying is that something doesn't add up. A court shouldn't say that you have to go to mediation and then give you a final order, anyway. It just doesn't make sense. You said that the judge approved the other attorney's request for mediation. How did he do that? Is it in the order somehow? Is there a separate order?

AFAIK, if it's not in a written order somewhere, it doesn't exist.

However, if the judge ordered it, but it was inadvertently left out of the written order and the other party really wants it, they can go back to the judge and say "you ordered mediation but it was left out of the written agreement" and get it fixed very easily.

Without knowing the details, no one else can answer that. If it were me, I'd review the written orders first to see if I missed something. Then I'd ask for a transcript of the hearing if it's available. Finally, if all else fails, ask your attorney. If you don't have an attorney, as your ex's attorney.

[Samson2005]

The judge and opposing atty agreed that by law, in these circumstances, mediation is mandatory. The two agreed on who to use and that was the last i heard of it.

There is no mention of it in the order. The order was a final order on shortening my daughter's weekend by 2 hours and setting a hearing for 2 months later.

The original petitions were not heard.

The judge told me to see how visitation goes between now and then and then tell him if i want him to continue to micromanage the schedule.

I had a proposed specific schedule presented that was not read. The judge asked mom if she had any wishes and she responded by saying she wanted our daughter to be picked up at the residence at 5pm opposed to school. when he granted her that, she asked if it could be changed to 9am saturday morning. that was not granted.

[mistoffolees]

Unless you've left something out, you probably have grounds for appeal. If mediation is mandatory by law and he issued an order without giving the parties time for mediation, his order could probably be overturned. However, that presumes that he DIDN'T give you time for mediation.

It also seems odd that he asked her for her wishes and not you. Again, IF that's what really happened, it's probably grounds for appeal.

However, that would be very expensive and there's no guarantee that you'd get any better than what you have now. Also, if you lose, you could end up paying her legal expenses as well as your own.

You really need to see an attorney.

[Samson2005]

I interjected that we need a specific visitation schedule that the police will enforce. He said that he saw no reason for the police to not enforce the schedule as is.

I have had 3 different police departments tell me that they can not enforce it without specific dates and times listed. After he said that I will be picking up my daughter at 5pm opposed to after school, he asked me if that was specific enough. He then said that he will ask me in 2 months if I want him to continue to micro-manage the schedule. I repeated that we need a specific schedule with dates and times of visitation that the police will enforce. Reply was that the original schedule is specific enough.

I mentioned that my proposed schedule in his hands listed each weekend out of the 52 week year and which weekend went to who.  That schedule was not different than the one that says EOW besides that it numbers the weekends and assigns weekends in that order. The response was , "no."

The judge was quite hard on mom when telling her that one more bump in the road between now and june will make him upset. I was shocked when mom's reply was, "until june?" (taken in context sounded to everyone there that she was asking if she had to behave only until june)

[Samson2005]

I have been asking for mediation since the beginning (1994)

my lawyers all told me that is was futile.

it was never ordered.

we started out with close to 50/50 time and it was whittled down to what it is, EOW with major holiday time divided. I have not seen my daughter on Christmas, her birthday, my birthday, memorial day, labor day, and a few other special times since this started.... 12 years ago..... i have been denied visitation an average of 25 days/year...
 
This is ALL very significant.