School Schedule

[CuriousMom]

Years later I'm back here for some help.
We currently have a 2/2/3, never really worked for our son for several issues but now we have reached kindergarten and it really is not working.  My son is exhausted, it has already been noticed by his teacher and his pre-school has noticed it for years.  Problem  now is he no longer gets naps to help catch  him up.  My son mentions that at school sometimes he almost falls asleep, has trouble paying attention, etc.  He attributes it to kindergarten but it is really starting at dad's.  I get a 5 year old wreck for a few days that I rush around and try to catch him up on some sleep as best as possible.  Keeping in mind I have asked several times (very nicely) if dad could please have our son in bed around 8-8:30 at lastest and I know sometimes that is difficult, but he needs it.
Son goes to school in my district, before and after program is in my district (both are literally less than 1 mile away from my home) and dad lives about 15 minutes away in a different district.
Proposed a school schedule to dad which of course was refused.  I really don't know what else to offer during the school year.  I asked that he be with with me Sunday - Thurs so I can have him in bed at the same time every night.  Dad can take him one evening or 3 evenings, really doesn't matter but he would need to be home by 7 to get ready for bed, etc.  Offered any in-service days and scheduled breaks during the school year to dad to keep him overnight instead since he wouldn't have to go to school the next day.  EOW - Sunday evening I would want to pick him up at 7pm so we can get back home and ready for bed.  Offered week on - week off summers with the start/end of those dependent upon when school year begins/ends. 
Any one have any other ideas or input on a schedule during the year?
When my son role plays he always says, "it's 10:30, time for bed!" Assuming this is coming from dad's, and probably about the time he's getting to bed given his exhaustion level.
I've consulted my attorney and we're working on gathering some observation documents from his teacher and his before/after daycare to support a new schedule.

Thanks.

[MixedBag]

That's probably where you need to start -- document and correlate behavior to late bedtimes at his father's home.

Then my guess would be round one in court -- a scolding to dad to make bedtime earlier.....and it would take a few rounds before a change in schedule would be forced upon Dad.

Just like it would take several rounds for a parent who refuses to cooperate and follow a parenting time schedule before a judge would order a change in primary residential parenting.

[ocean]

Kindergarten is a big change for most kids, especially with no napping and very academic days. Going to take a lot to change in court and is it worth paying a lawyer? Only you can choose your battles. Courts will look at lates/absences/ and if homework is turned in on his days. Most states Kindergarten in not even mandatory so even harder in those states to get courts/cps involved.

Keep track but different parenting styles usually do not warrant a parenting change. As child gets older each year this will become a non-issue. Not sure how behind the teacher/school will be if you ask them to put this in writing. Maybe they can have a group teacher conference with both parents and go over their findings and maybe dad will change, or have a social worker from school talk to him?

Dad is probably concerned that he will loose time with child and possibly child support will be ordered/changed if it is not truly a 50/50 shared plan. Maybe do a week on , week off with mid week dinner visit with other parent? This way dad has to deal with him the whole week and sees that kids need structure and bedtimes? Just hard as kids go to bed all different times for many reasons and not sure court will change it or make things better.

Good luck!

[CuriousMom]

Thanks, Ladies 
We're in PA and K is mandatory here.  His teacher already noted it in our first parent-teacher conference a month ago but sadly enough there hasn't been a change.  The change to kindergarten was for sure an adjustment at first, he is settled in now.  Both the school and before/after have put things in writing for me, I'd much rather keep it out of the courts myself. 
We have no domestics, he pays childcare and I cover insurance, although if I wanted I could file and he would have to pay me due to income differences.  Easier to just let it go and move on.
Dad is one that is all for show but typically the boys (he has a year younger half-brother) end up with a sitter all weekend or his mom is at the house because he really isn't interested in the kids.  She is by far the sharpest tool in the shed either.....  His brother will be attending another school district but is on the same schedule so still wondering how we is going to handle that, too.  He spends almost an entire evening running around to pick up kids at different child care places because he refuses to keep them in one.  He's a piece of work!

[ocean]

In PA, Kindergarten in not mandatory.
You can not change a persons parenting style. His house, his rules, your house, your rules. If you can prove it is affecting his education then you can ask for a modification to have child on school nights. Most courts will not do to much if CPS is not involved. Schools are mandatory reporters and they can call for education abuse but that take A LOT. (many absences, bad grades, repeat grade, failed tests).

[CuriousMom]

Didn't know it wasn't PA, he was going anyway from our standpoint anyway.  It's the norm around here.
Understand different rules in different households, was just trying to find out if there was another school option out there or schedule for school that others have done. 
It is impacting school, his teacher brought it up in our first parent/teacher conference and wrote it directly on her report.
Not sure what direction I'll go from here but thanks for all the info.