another question

[LTaylor71]

I need some more advice,I am getting my daughter soon as I have mentioned in a previous post,I need to know that after the 6 months is up and I go for sole custody,is there any way that I can not allow her dad to see her as there is physical abuse,and neglect going on because of his current wife.He does not do nothing to put an end to it,so as I see it he is as much at fault as is his wife.There is rarely food in the house and my daughter is made to cook for everyone in the house....there are 6 people there and she also has to clean the house,babysit and help her younger 1/2 brother as well as her step sisters with their homework.Her attendance and grades are terrible,but that is not the issue at hand,I just want to know if I can protect her from having to go to see him in the summer as he has requested to have her for 6 weeks.His wife yells,screams,hit,grabs the kids by their hair and pushes them to the floors,refers to my daughter and her 2 girls as B****es and seems to thinks that she needs to do this to get their attention so they will listen to her and be at her beckon call and wait on her hand and foot while she sits and does nothing all day,not to mention the living conditions at the house,they have like 8 cats and numerous other things running around the house.sorry for getting off the subject but I wanted to add a lil back ground of things.I really need to know if it will be possible for me to do this so that my daughter dont have to go through all the stuff she has been for all the time she has been there.His family will back me up on this because they have been there and seen things going on as well.

[Jade]

>I need some more advice,I am getting my daughter soon as I
>have mentioned in a previous post,I need to know that after
>the 6 months is up and I go for sole custody,is there any way
>that I can not allow her dad to see her as there is physical
>abuse,and neglect going on because of his current wife.He does
>not do nothing to put an end to it,so as I see it he is as
>much at fault as is his wife.There is rarely food in the house
>and my daughter is made to cook for everyone in the
>house....there are 6 people there and she also has to clean
>the house,babysit and help her younger 1/2 brother as well as
>her step sisters with their homework.Her attendance and grades
>are terrible,but that is not the issue at hand,I just want to
>know if I can protect her from having to go to see him in the
>summer as he has requested to have her for 6 weeks.His wife
>yells,screams,hit,grabs the kids by their hair and pushes them
>to the floors,refers to my daughter and her 2 girls as B****es
>and seems to thinks that she needs to do this to get their
>attention so they will listen to her and be at her beckon call
>and wait on her hand and foot while she sits and does nothing
>all day,not to mention the living conditions at the house,they
>have like 8 cats and numerous other things running around the
>house.sorry for getting off the subject but I wanted to add a
>lil back ground of things.I really need to know if it will be
>possible for me to do this so that my daughter dont have to go
>through all the stuff she has been for all the time she has
>been there.His family will back me up on this because they
>have been there and seen things going on as well.

Contact an attorney.  If your ex's family will testify, I think that you would have a very good chance.  Your attorney can give you better advice on what to file when you get your child back.  Once she is living with you, you will be in a much stronger position.  

[mistoffolees]

You're going to need an attorney.

However, I think that asking the court to not let the father see your daughter is a bad idea. Instead, you should ask the court to order supervised visitation. That way, your daughter can get whatever benefit she might obtain from seeing her father, but would be in a safe environment.

Plus, it looks better if you're not trying to separate her from her father but are instead focusing on ensuring her safety.

[Davy]

I'm really trying to fully understand exactly what advice you are seeking.  Apparently, 1900 miles have separted you from your child for 10 very long years.  Now you want to trick this child and her father and create more turmoil in the child's life (i.e. sole custody, no access to long-standing parent, etc etc) just because you are the mother and you have this concept a new forum will be favorable to you after a short 6 months without any relevant data concerning the child.

Am I correct so far ??
 
If I'm correct I think you came to the wrong site.  This site is suppose to be or should I say usta be for the best interest of the child.  

First of all, the father surely had the child's best interest in mind or he would'nt have called and, more over, seems likely to work things out.
It would be best for the child if she sees her parents working together for her.  She would be more settled and secure in her new location.

In addition, the child's home state is clearly in a position to make a rational decision and the outcome would be much more viable with both parents present.  Another state would basically be making decisions based on a lop-sided social policy with possible continuing hpheaval in the child's life.    

I hope you let-go of your apparent emotional vindictive BS and settle things NOW with the entire focus on the child.

[mistoffolees]

>
>I'm really trying to fully understand exactly what advice you
>are seeking.  Apparently, 1900 miles have separted you from
>your child for 10 very long years.  Now you want to trick this
>child and her father and create more turmoil in the child's
>life (i.e. sole custody, no access to long-standing parent,
>etc etc) just because you are the mother and you have this
>concept a new forum will be favorable to you after a short 6
>months without any relevant data concerning the child.

I'm having trouble seeing where that comes from. As I read the post, I didn't see any reference to 1900 miles and didn't see any reference to 10 years of separation.

What I saw was a mother who was concerned about the conditions of visitation for her child with the father. I am certainly making some assumptions, but it read to me like they have JC and she's trying to change it to SC. After re-reading it, I may have misinterpreted it.

In any event, the major issue here seems to be living conditions when spending time with the father which need to be addressed if true.

[Davy]

LizTaylor referenced an earlier post (05/14) whereas she implied the Dad was primary and mother visiting. Dad is offering mom primary.
The previous post (in part) is as follows :

>I am so happy,I get to go get my daughter may 19th from her dad.He >woke up one night and decided that he simply don't want her anymore >which really makes me mad.He is also pulling her out of school almost >month early....is that considered neglect? He also informed me that in >exchange for her,he does not want to pay child support.He also said >that he wants summer visitation I told him OK but have not mentioned >any of the details...for the last 10 years I have had to pay all costs to >and from visitations which is expensive because we are in 2 different >states,about 1900 miles from each other,is it possible that he have to >pay all transportation costs if he wants to see her? I am not going to >make him think that this is the plan or I am afraid that he will change >his mind and keep her there where she is being abused at the hands >of his wife.

Dad's household management appears in disarray while current wife rules the roost.

[mistoffolees]

>
>LizTaylor referenced an earlier post (05/14) whereas she
>implied the Dad was primary and mother visiting. Dad is
>offering mom primary.
>The previous post (in part) is as follows :

OK. I didn't know that there was an earlier post. People need to make sure that they have the relevant information in one thread rather than scattering it all over the place - because not everyone will have your memory or time to cross-check every post.

Still, if there are legitimate concerns about the kids' safety, they need to be addressed. Unfortunately, it's impossible to tell whether those concerns are real or not since we're hearing only one side of every story presented here.

[LTaylor71]

First of all....he never called regarding this matter.I have had summer visitation every year so its not like I have not had contact with her,I also talk to her daily online or on the phone.I am not tricking anyone so how dare you imply that I am??? All I am doing is getting my daughter out of a bad sitiuation and working the details( most of them) out as soon as she is safe.We have agreed to visitation for next summer but things as transportation costs and such will be discussed at a later time.and as far as us working together for our daughter,we are attempting to do so,he has agreed with my proposal on her living here with me and getting her out of that house,I have been trying unsucessfully to do this for the last 6 years and finally he realized that I am right and this is the best thing for her.He has requested that he does not want to take this to court and to do this with as little hassle as possible,I told him that we could do it that way and then when I got her here I was going to take this issue to court and have it made legal,I am not sneaking around as you seem to think,I am just doing what needs to be done to get her out of there and somewhere that she is not being beaten on daily,and if you think that is wrong,put yourself in my place for a few minutes,would you not do anything and everything possible to protect your child,even if it doesnt seem right in someone elses eyes?? I have also put myself in her dads position and I know how he feels having to let her go,but he also knows this is something that he needs to do because she has threatened to run away to get away from the things that are going on.I dont know about you but I wouldnt want my daughter alone on the run to get away from there,he feels that he has lost the battle and I told him that she will be safe here and not getting hurt.I dont know why you claim that I am being vindictive,every detail of this has been discussed with her dad and we have talked many hours regarding the important issues,and to me trasnportation costs to and from visits isnt one of them.and as far as the visitation I am not willing to allow her back into that home where the other 3 kids are being abused just to see her dad and get put through all that again....would you knowingly allow your child to go somewhere that you knew they were going to be abused? Well I am not allowing that to happen.

[Davy]

You are clearly attempting to manipulate this board in order to justify your own wrong doings.

You have posted that your plan is to get sole custody in 6 months after  removing this child from her home of 10 years 1900 miles away and denying the long-standing care-giving father any access to his daughter based on fraudelent abuse and neglect charges.  You also say you don't want the father (or daughter) to know of your plan because you're afraid he would no longer agree to you taking the child.  No $hit !!    

Like I've advised, the father is willing to work with you and the best jurisdiction for that to occur is where the relevant data concerning the child is available with both parents present and agreeing to all matters.

Your plan puts you one-on-one with a judge throwing out 'abuse' acusations in order to substantiate your selfish endeavors.      

BTW, if you think what you described as neglect and/or abuse  then .....

[Jade]

>BTW, if you think what you described as neglect and/or abuse
>then .....


And if you think it isn't then............