Urgent, need help

[daddeo2007]

 My lawyer filed to withdraw from the case after I asked many times why the **** they didn't ever mention things in court about how my son needs serious help not only with developmental delays but also that he hits himself, bangs his head against the wall, and more. I know that that is not because of stress from the custody case and from his mother. I want my lawyer gone from the case because they won't do anything but I'm very hesitant to just let them withdraw and face mommy's lawyer by myself.

I say that some one in my lawyers firm overlooked things and they can't bring up severe issues from years ago starting now because it would show how stupid and careless they are. They would sound like idiots since they have never brought certain tings up.  

 Mommy has posted on her web page that she is homeless as recently as today and that her mother still smokes crack and beats her up, but she still takes my son around her mother. She has also admitted to drug abuse, swinging, having a swinger in his 30's that was caught kissing on 14 year olds and serving them booze as my son's baby sitter, and there's so much more. I can't get anything done in my county though.

Mommy posted that she will be moving to "a county that would give me a chance or at least have all issues addressed". She shut off her phone and has a fake address listed so that I can't serve her with court papers. She has denied court ordred visiation and vacations more times than I can remember.

I heard that I can try for an ex parte temp. order for emergency custody but in my county where the case is I can't win. Can I just see legal aid in the other county that mommy says she's moving to to ensure that I word things and go about things correctly, and is it illegal for me to start a custody case in another county when one is already pending? How do I go about this?

 I have documentation as far as expert and unbiased witnesses, police reports, court records, and more. My words would be (in other words): A child is suffering and no one has done a thing about it! This case has to be moved to another jurisdiction where something will be done! I know that I may very well not win custody based on so many other stories and facts but I do have to have the courts at least try to address certain issues for my son's well being.

Thank you for even reading this.

[mistoffolees]

I don't think that the mother saying that she's moving has any bearing on which county has jurisdiction. The normal standard is where the child has lived for the most recent 6 month period. THAT is where you should file.

Why can't you win an ex parte hearing in your county? Seems to me that with the evidence you have (you DO have hard evidence rather than hearsay, I assume?), you could make a pretty good case. Of course, that's no guarantee, but I don't see why you would believe you can't win - unless you're leaving something out.

If you're not happy with your lawyer, get a new one. Of course, it's worth really trying to understand why they're saying that they can't bring up the things you wish. There may be legitimate legal reasons (lack of evidence, only hearsay evidence, or perhaps they open the door for your ex to bring up certain things about you, or any of a number of other reasons). Simply switching law firms won't solve any of those problems.

I'd have a chat with your attorney and express your concerns AND THEN LISTEN. Whether their reasons are legitimate or not in your mind, you need to know why they're handling the case the way they are before you select another attorney. It's like a marriage - you want to understand why the first one failed before you get yourself into a second one.

Good luck.

[dipper]

You cannot file in another county, it has to be through the county that ordered the custody.  If the other parent does moves and she then files through original court to have case transferred to her new county, then you could go there and file motions.

As for your lawyer, if the issues were present say three years ago and were not brought up then, legally they cannot be brought up now.  From what I understand once an issue has been proven in court, then you can hammer at it the next twenty years...but if you miss your chance, then you cant come back later and try to throw them in.  

From what you are saying, if you feel you are not getting a fair trial, then I would file again if circumstances warrant and then if defeated again, file an appeal.  then, it will go out of the current judge's hands.  In Virginia, an appeal takes the case from J&D court to circuit court and you simply get a new trial, but I believe in most states you have to take it to the supreme court in that state and then prove where the lower court erred.  

As for your son, has he been diagnosed with any special needs?  If he hasnt, I would talk to social services about what kind of services they would be able to provide.   If he has been diagnosed with something and no action is being taken by the mother, you may consider taking her to court to get your son outside help - be it speech therapy, physical therapy, music therapy, etc.......this stuff is covered through medicaid (state insurance - cant remember if its medicaid or medicare) as part of having a disability....

[daddeo2007]

>I don't think that the mother saying that she's moving has
>any bearing on which county has jurisdiction. The normal
>standard is where the child has lived for the most recent 6
>month period. THAT is where you should file.
>
>Why can't you win an ex parte hearing in your county? Seems to
>me that with the evidence you have (you DO have hard evidence
>rather than hearsay, I assume?), you could make a pretty good
>case. Of course, that's no guarantee, but I don't see why you
>would believe you can't win - unless you're leaving something
>out.
>
>If you're not happy with your lawyer, get a new one. Of
>course, it's worth really trying to understand why they're
>saying that they can't bring up the things you wish. There may
>be legitimate legal reasons (lack of evidence, only hearsay
>evidence, or perhaps they open the door for your ex to bring
>up certain things about you, or any of a number of other
>reasons). Simply switching law firms won't solve any of those
>problems.
>
>I'd have a chat with your attorney and express your concerns
>AND THEN LISTEN. Whether their reasons are legitimate or not
>in your mind, you need to know why they're handling the case
>the way they are before you select another attorney. It's like
>a marriage - you want to understand why the first one failed
>before you get yourself into a second one.
>
>Good luck.


I don't think I can win an ex parte hearing in my county because fathers never win in my county. I also thought that mom's lawyer would find out and would fight it. Since mom disappeared and all I know is that she is going from here to there to sleep I can't have her served with a summons or the court ordered emergency custody because I can't find her. I think she has been denying visitation that's done at a mutual exchange place because she knows that I can have her served there. In most cases I've heard of when a mother found out that she lost custody she took off and they couldn't have her arrested because even though she heard about the court order she had not been served. Sorry, my mind is racing. I will try though and when I was Pro Se I actually did better than with a lawyer even though I don't know what I'm doing. My lawyer already filed to withdraw and won;t talk to me so there goes that and I can't afford another one for now. Thanks for your help. :)

[daddeo2007]

>You cannot file in another county, it has to be through the
>county that ordered the custody.  If the other parent does
>moves and she then files through original court to have case
>transferred to her new county, then you could go there and
>file motions.
>
>As for your lawyer, if the issues were present say three years
>ago and were not brought up then, legally they cannot be
>brought up now.  From what I understand once an issue has been
>proven in court, then you can hammer at it the next twenty
>years...but if you miss your chance, then you cant come back
>later and try to throw them in.  
>
>From what you are saying, if you feel you are not getting a
>fair trial, then I would file again if circumstances warrant
>and then if defeated again, file an appeal.  then, it will go
>out of the current judge's hands.  In Virginia, an appeal
>takes the case from J&D court to circuit court and you simply
>get a new trial, but I believe in most states you have to take
>it to the supreme court in that state and then prove where the
>lower court erred.  
>
>As for your son, has he been diagnosed with any special needs?
> If he hasnt, I would talk to social services about what kind
>of services they would be able to provide.   If he has been
>diagnosed with something and no action is being taken by the
>mother, you may consider taking her to court to get your son
>outside help - be it speech therapy, physical therapy, music
>therapy, etc.......this stuff is covered through medicaid
>(state insurance - cant remember if its medicaid or medicare)
>as part of having a disability....


Thank you. :)

Yes, my son was diagnosed with severe speech delays, cognitive deficits, motor impairment, problems with muscle tone, and the people that evaluated him said they believe that the traumatic birth (an emergency C and he stopped breathing and his heart stopped) played a big part in it along with mom's drug use (assuming that I was telling the truth about it).

 I have known what type of help my son needs and where he can get it but
mom refuses to do anything. Also social services and DCFS (same as CPS) never do anything either. A court order can help but I know that mom would violate that and my son would not get what he needs. I'd have to keep suing and my son would be 10 and still in 1st grade by the time anything was done, if anything.

[mistoffolees]

>I don't think I can win an ex parte hearing in my county
>because fathers never win in my county.

If that's the case, you're out of luck since the battle will be fought where the child has lived for the most recent 6 month period.

I would suggest that you verify your facts. There are certainly counties where it's hard for the father to win, but I doubt if there are many where it's outright impossible. If that's the case, then you need to work on improving your case to maximize your chances - rather than giving up and trying to find another county to handle it-which will end up costing you a fortune when ex finds out about it (after you notify her of the judgment) and her attorney has your decision thrown out because you went to the wrong county.

[dipper]

and she violated, then that would be grounds for contempt. Enough contempts at her not providing appropriate healthcare for son's special needs and a change in custody is possible.    Once he is in school, the special therapies can be provided during school time and he will better get these services that he needs.

there is money for birthing deficiencies, but I have no idea how to go about that.  It would provide for alot of these therapies though, and help if the mother feels overwhelmed.

[escape2paradise]

I'm no legal eagle, but it is my understanding that once your X has obtained counsel that any and all service of any kind is sent and served on the attorney's office on behalf of their client.  You stated that your X had an attorney, that being the case why can't you get your X served?