please give your opinion

[John-J-Jay]

Please give me your opinion

My daughter is visiting her mother for the summer. Each and every time I call my child my ex wife husband harasses me on the phone about the pending legal issues of non payment of child support and other issues.

I can't call my child to have a decent conservation and when I do call I'm in fear of being harassed by her husband. My child comes home in a few weeks but in the mean time is there anything I can do to stop him from harassing me about the pending legal situation that's before the courts?

I'm to the point where I don't want to call my child because of the harassment. should I not call because of the problems and wait until she returns in a few weeks or what?

my ex emailed me stating he wasn't harassing me if he was asking legitimate questions. It's not just a question it's the way he approaches it and ask and in fact making negative comments etc. not only that it made my daughter who's 10 begin to cry because of what she observed.

[mistoffolees]

>Please give me your opinion
>
>My daughter is visiting her mother for the summer. Each and
>every time I call my child my ex wife husband harasses me on
>the phone about the pending legal issues of non payment of
>child support and other issues.
>
>I can't call my child to have a decent conservation and when I
>do call I'm in fear of being harassed by her husband. My child
>comes home in a few weeks but in the mean time is there
>anything I can do to stop him from harassing me about the
>pending legal situation that's before the courts?
>
>I'm to the point where I don't want to call my child because
>of the harassment. should I not call because of the problems
>and wait until she returns in a few weeks or what?
>
>my ex emailed me stating he wasn't harassing me if he was
>asking legitimate questions. It's not just a question it's the
>way he approaches it and ask and in fact making negative
>comments etc. not only that it made my daughter who's 10 begin
>to cry because of what she observed.
>

You need to stay in touch with your child.

Once again, YOU are letting your ex get to you. You need to learn to ignore their questions or answer them calmly. No one can MAKE you get upset except you.

Not to mention that perhaps in ex's mind, the questions ARE legitimate.

[greatdad]

You might suggest via registered mail, return receipt ( or through you rlawyer if you have one) that any further questions be submitted in writing and that no further discussion take place in earshot of the child as it is damaging to the child. That if it continues you will file a motion to amend visitation and ask for a judge to institute rules on how this will be addressed outside of the childs prescence.

[John-J-Jay]

In the "event" she tries to contest custody after the judge orders her to pay her $48,000 delq child support, can i use situations like this agaisnt her to stiop her and limit the situation? if so will it hold any bearing since he is not a party to the suit?

[junglechicken]

that it's none of her husband's business, and you should state that in your reply to your ex-wife.  The matter is between you and her, and you will not be entertaining anyone else's quesitions or opinions, legitimate or not.

By all means, continue to contact your child.

[mistoffolees]

Only if you can prove it - which is one more argument for communicating only in writing.

[John-J-Jay]

She admitted to it in a email that her husband was only asking questions. I term his comments as harassment. she said because he was only asking questions it wasn't harassment. but the fact remains it was negative comments to try to get at me.

when i call to talk to my child, that's my only purpose and that's to talk to her. Not to talk to him or my ex.

I guess they are starting to feel the presure on having to pay child support and figure out how they will keep their lifestyle the way they have it now minus the cs.

[mistoffolees]

>She admitted to it in a email that her husband was only
>asking questions. I term his comments as harassment. she said
>because he was only asking questions it wasn't harassment. but
>the fact remains it was negative comments to try to get at me.
>
>
>when i call to talk to my child, that's my only purpose and
>that's to talk to her. Not to talk to him or my ex.
>
>I guess they are starting to feel the presure on having to pay
>child support and figure out how they will keep their
>lifestyle the way they have it now minus the cs.

Read my first response. YOU are the one getting worked up. She can't do that to you unless you let her.

If she asks a question that you don't want to answer, then don't answer. Just say you're not going to discuss it or don't say anything.

If she won't let you talk to the kids, then file for contempt.

You have to take responsibility for your own actions and hold her responsible for hers. Like it or not, she's entitled to ask anything she wishes. It's up to you to decide how (or whether) to respond.

[Jade]

When they start asking questions, simply state:

That is something that you need to ask your attorney.  Please let me talk to (insert child's name here).

And keep repeating it every single time.  Don't get dragged into it.  

[ocean]

Just ask for your child and say "please talk to my lawyer". After you talk to your child , tell your child "okay, I love you I am going to hang up now...talk to you tomorrow"...and hang up! IF they call back let it go to a machine/voicemail.

You can try sending an e-mail stating that you will not discuss the case on the phone, only through a lawyer (or e-mail if you want)...
Good luck!