Welcome to SPARC Forums. Please login or sign up.

Feb 25, 2024, 11:41:26 AM

Login with username, password and session length

Grounds for show cause?

Started by dipper, Jul 30, 2015, 11:12:28 AM

Previous topic - Next topic


In our current order, it states that:
If an illness prevents care of child, and proper child care approved by both parties cannot be obtained, Mother will notify Father so that he and Grandparents may take custody during this time.
The mother just got out of hospital yesterday after being in for 8 days for pancreatitis.  She felt 'better' within hours of our scheduled court appearance.   Father notified her on Sunday that as this illness has her in extreme pain and on pain meds, he wanted a note from the doctor stating she was able to take care of child upon her release.   She did not reply.   Yesterday, around 5 she started texting that she was getting out and wanted us to meet her mother in a short period of time which was not doable for us.   I relayed that message to her and asked for doctor's note.  She later texted that she will be meeting us to pick up child today at 6 p.m.  Again, asked for doctor's note.  She not only will not reply at all to the request, she has not stated who will be taking care of child.  We know she is unable to do so on her own.  She lives with her mother, but she started a new job this week and no one has said the mother will be helping her.
If we take child this evening to the mother, can we file a show cause against her for refusing us the right to take care of her as in order?
Also, she refuses to give us name of her mother's live-in boyfriend.  Can a judge compel her to give us that little bit of information?


You have a very unique order because of the mother's illness clauses -- so quite honestly, it's really hard for us or anyone to say if it's a reason to file a motion to show cause....

As for the boyfriend....again, while I understand your concern....isn't that micromanaging mom?

Your already in the middle of a battle....not sure I'd add to that right now.

Considering you don't "like" your attorney (did I get that part right)?

The old order favors dad and you two as guardians....so I think I'd honestly just sit tight -- and be quiet because the new order balances things more out and I think I've said before....if the new order balances things when now Dad has the more favorable order.....why hurry back to court?  Let MOM push going back to court to get what she wants.

Was it in the new order about mom getting out and getting the child back and stuff?  vs. the old order?


The old order has the clause for illness.   However, our attorney told us today that a case could be argued that there is no order right now.  The judge had been told in  April that an amendment was being made and we are still in limbo.  I would think as long as we do not have a judge's signature on a new one, the old one was in effect, but not necessarily according to the attorney.   So...that would be a good reason to get this thing signed.

We did take child to exchange.  I understand about micromanaging but we do not care who is there when the child is not there...it's when she is there and overnight guests are there that it becomes an issue.

I had a thorough discussion with my lawyer today.  I think a lot of my frustration is related to this being drawn out.   Meetings cancelled, court postponed.  And mind you, we do not have a lot of money.  Yet, even though she could not make it to court, our attorney had to appear and that costs...and these cancelled meetings - costs for the attorneys to talk and take care of that and try to come up with new meeting times.

The judge has set a control date.  He specifically noted it was to reign the mother in and that no matter what is going on with her at that time, he will be making a decision.

Thank you for you input - I do value your experience in these matters!


In my middle daughter's husband's decree, there's a specific clause that says no overnight guests that are not family of the opposite sex.

In no other decree have I heard that exisits -- therefore, 99% of the time, it's a "non-legal" issue that you can't fight UNLESS the child says they've been hurt.

Good luck -- recognize what you're really frustrated about and go from there.


Recently a friend showed me her son's custody order and it has that clause in there - no overnight guests when child is present unless it is a family member.   Honestly, my son and his gf were not married, so that is not really the issue.  We never mentioned him being there overnight to begin with - they did.  They made it an issue by bringing it up last November.  The maternal grandmother said no one would have anything to use against her because she no longer smokes in the house and her boyfriend does not stay overnight when child is there.  Since then, they have repeated this numerous times and still say he does not live there.  Yet, his truck is there overnight and in online pics mother has posted...there are men's hygiene items in bathroom. 

It is the deceit that is the problem.  And we simply want to know the last name so we can do our own background checks.  He has been with the maternal grandmother since before child's birth but we have rarely seen him and he does not speak to us...never has.  Son would ask his last name even when he was with mother and she said she did not know it....really odd.

Frustration is coming mainly from not have an iron-clad order.  I think the judge will uphold our original agreement until we get a new one signed, but lawyer says it's not guaranteed.  The judge did ask the other day in court if we were all abiding by original order and he was told yes. 


Find a cop friend and run his tag.

Search through the grandma's facebook friends and find him that way?

Take pictures with date time stamps.

Follow him to work.