i want custody

[rookie2]

how to deal a very bitter and vendictive ex. the children are not happy their by thier admition. it seems that they are in the ex's way. however that party will never give them up as long as they can make life harder mentally and financialy for me. regardless of the feelings of the children. my oldest son will be 10 years old november 17, he wishes to live with me and gives my ex as hard time as he can give becouse of it. I tell him to obey and not to back talk just give me time and iI will try to get him out of there. Am I wrong in telling him that. Please i am desperate for answers. there so many issues at hand I really don't know where to start.

[Zephyr]

YES YOU ARE WRONG IN TELLING HIM THAT!

a common mistake that parents make is creating the atmosphere or mindset that they and the child are a "team" against the other parent...

this scenario is not good for anyone, please don't do this to your child...

you need to teach your child coping skills without painting the picture that the other parent is to blame, and the children should not be involved at all with court proceedings.....

[mistoffolees]

I agree completely. Parents need to support each other where the children are involved as much as humanly possible.

As long as parents continue to wage a battle against each other and put the children in the middle, the children get hurt.

As for his 'vindictive ex', I don't think I'd be very happy if I was faced with the things the OP is doing, either. It (usually) takes two sides to create a hostile environment.