New custody case need some info

[Jells222019]

Hi all

I'm in the midst of a divorce and a new custody case.  Long story short, dad has been away on work for 2 years, met someone online  in a video game and now has moved in with them 1800 miles away.  He has a serious video game addiction. He has essentially abandoned his family.  He's depressed and lied about quite a few things and many of his actions have been detrimental to my oldest to where he hurts himself with his internal anxiety.  I already have the family in therapy and the therapist told my stbxh that he would be labeled emotionally detrimental to the children based upon his actions.   He has essentially not been a parent for two years.

The father is in no position to have the kids as he live with 3 or 4 other people including the other person in a very small location both males and females. He's purposefully working a job making less income, and ive been paying all the bills to not have my credit ruined. Additionally, his only contact has been a phone call over face time and usually the kids call him not he call the kids. He plays video games with them.

I've got three kids ages 8,6 and 7 months. The two oldest have the strongest bond, but our infant daughter doesn't know him at all.

I've never done divorce or this so I have a few questions.


Would it be possible to require him to attend counseling at least with my son to address these issues? Can that be court mandated?

I'm going to go after sole legal custody and I don't expect a fight from him at all.

Can standard visitation be modified to where he would need to be on a step plan and show he can maintain his visitation for x amount of times before he's allowed  greater time.

my ex can be a great dad, but his lack of judgement has affected the children greatly. 

Is there anything you in the forums would recommend I ask for when we go in front of the judge. 

My main goal is to protect my kids and make sure they're well.

Any advice info, etc. is appreciated.

[tigger]

My initial thought is that 1800 miles would make it quite difficult (if not impossible) for the dad to participate in counseling unless he did it via phone.

Do a search for "long distance visitation/parenting plan" and "supervised visitation" on this forum and see what articles and threads have to say.  It sounds like dad is going through a midlife crisis (with video games instead of a sports car).