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Would Order Be Voided?

Started by dipper, Jun 07, 2016, 10:09:20 PM

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Recap:   my grandchild is 2 1/2 years old.  Her parents separated on her first birthday - never married.   Due to her mother's medical condition and her father's (our son's) work schedule, we took care of child at least 75% of the time prior to their split.  We have a court order that shares legal and physical custody between 5 of us.  It's her and her mother / us and our son.   

Well, a month ago the mother of grandchild wanted to meet with us and we did - and she apologized and professed her love for our son.  Next day she and her mother had huge fight and she was begging to come here to stay saying she had nowhere else to go.  Not wanting our grandchild to be in this situation, we allowed her to stay here for two days.   Looking back, yes I regret it.   She kept telling us how she loved our son and how we were her true family, etc...

We did encourage our son to spend time with child and her as we felt it would be good for the child to have memories of parents getting along other than just parents meeting at exchange.   That did not happen, instead they are dating and not spending time at all with the child with them.   

I have some very real concerns about where this may end up and her true motives.   I honestly 'feel' this is a way for her to regain control over custody - as thinking this would void the order if she got back with son for a little while.   They were not a good couple together and it was a bad situation for the child.   My husband and I and our home are the only stability child has had.   

If this relationship does progress, would they need to take us to court to void the order?   I cannot see our son doing that, but honestly who knows?  Whether I had a chance or not, I would fight it.   The judge already stated back in February when we went on show cause summons that obviously we had a unique situation in which both parents needed support to parent the child.   So, though we never fought over custody in open court, he does acknowledge that there have to be some issues that require additional support.   


No, it would not be voided by them just saying they are back together. Stick to the schedule as much as possible and keep documenting if you have child extra. Your hope should be that the two of them grow up a little and start taking care of the child especially when the child is getting older. Maybe if they are serious tell them to come up with one day a week that they will have child together as a trial with you and that they can still have their date nights to work on things between them? You may be right, this may not work out but they will have to see it for themselves. She will have to earn your trust back and that will take a very long time but her actions will show you.
Good luck!


I think voided is the wrong word...

Due to a significant change in circumstances in that the mother and the father are now living together (and are married), they now come to the court with a motion to change legal parenting responsibilities to simply the mother and father.

Yep, it can happen.

I'm not here to paint a rosy picture....

So....like ocean said keep documenting....on the entire situation so that IF this comes to fruition down the road, you will have your ducks lined up as best you can.

Focus on the child in your documentation and document everthing -- to include time spent with son/dad.


Thank you both for your input.  I do hope they mature and become stable parents.  I do not believe that would happen in the next few years.  I will be focused more documenting everything.  Actually, beyond keeping a journal, I plan on creating a notebook divided in issues to keep up with concerns that impact child.  I just did not see this one coming.  But when they first separated my regret was not being proactive all along.   


I wanted to add that one concern I have is that she only wants to see my son during his custodial time with child.   They never go out during her custodial time.   She is headed to the beach now with family friends for a week....she had acted like she wanted child to go and I offered to exchange some days.  She refused that offer and chose to go without child.  Child loves the beach. 


slick move to get more time with the child.


Time to have heart to heart with son about what you are seeing and tell him when she gets back from this week trip you want to have a family meeting.
Then at meeting lay it all out, if they are dating and acting like a family then you need days/times they both will care for child and it should take from both parent times for a period of time (3 months? to prove they are serious).
Good luck!