Moving an hour away

[rgaines]

My ex-husband and I have joint custody of our 5 and 10 year old. I will be getting married soon and would like to relocate within the state, but an hour away from where we currently live. I currently work too far from my children's school district so they are not involved in any after school activities because I cannot get home in time. I would like to enroll my children in the school where I work so that we can all be in the same place, I can then be more involved in what is going on at school (since i will work where they go to school), and I can finally place them in sports. My parents currently pick up my kids from school and keep them until I arrive.

My ex currently gets the kids every other weekend and they spend the nights on Mondays. I am not looking to change the visitation since my job is the mid point between our new residence and old residence. I would be able to drop them off at their dads after work which would be a 30 min commute. I know their father will not want to go along with what I am asking and I'm just wondering if i even stand a chance taking this to court. Any advice on where to start is greatly appreciated!

[Waylon]

I may be wrong, but I don't think the courts will go along with this for several reasons.

1) You're the one deciding to move and change the current custody arrangement, and this will end up imposing a significant burden on the non-custodial parent. The courts are often reluctant to do that. If you were moving closer to the other parent then it would be a different matter.

2) Changing the current ECE (established custodial environment) is something the courts are also reluctant to do without a very compelling reason.
It's up to the court but in my experience what you mention probably won't be seen as a compelling enough reason to change the children's school and home environments. I could be wrong, but approvals for moves like this are a long shot.

Also, keep in mind that this could trigger a change-of-custody request by the other parent. The argument in favor of keeping them in an established custodial environment is significant, and the other parent might prevail. Judges are generally more interested in what's best for the children and not so much for the parents.

In short, you'll need to make a very good case for changing things. I'm not a judge but if things are going smoothly or this current arrangement has been in place for some time, you may not find the court sympathetic.

Yeah, I know- it's probably not what you want to hear, but based on experience this is my best guess on what's most likely to happen, i.e. the court will deny the move if the other parent objects.

[MixedBag]

Or the court will place a greater burden on the moving parent and allow the move....

I agree with Waylon.....be very careful, and 99% of the folks here would not agree with your plan or decision.  Normally "we" come from the Non-custodial parent's view....while I try to be neutral and think it through from all sides, when I read a situation like yours.....my gut and answer comes from the parent who will be left behind with less time with the child and that I never like.

[ocean]

I agree and a pending marriage is not enough reason either.
If they allow the move, you would be responsible for all the driving since you moved. Maybe sit down with dad and offer an alternate plan..maybe he can do Friday after school (same way you are doing now....) and he returns them to school Monday or you go get them Sunday night. Offer some school holiday Mondays to make up some days. You can still offer the day during the week or in exchange offer an extra week in summer or other days off. Offer and see what he sees and ask for him to make any changes that work for him.

Like the others said, if you take this court and dad gets lawyer the counter will be that he wants custody so kids stay in their school with friends.

Read your current court papers carefully. Some state how far you can move without the court's permission.

Talk to a lawyer in your area and see how judges in your area have been siding. Here , move aways have be drastically reduced when the other parent is involved. See if you can work this out then have lawyer write it up , both sign off on it and file with courts.

Good luck!

[rgaines]

Thank you everyone for your replies! You've given me lots to think about. I definitely do not want to diminish the time my kids have with their father, so I will try sitting down with him first to come to a solution. Again, thank you.