We WON ( the children and I )!!!!!!!!

[greatdad]

To those that have followed my plight for the last year and a half, I want to let you know that the 3rd and final day of Final divorce, custody was today.

 Judge ruled that I have sole physical and sole  legal custody, X get's once a month visitation and 5 weeks in summer divided into 2 segments.
This was in Va, so no easy feat.
I am trying to get X to just stop all the conflict now and try and start with as clean a slate as possible. It did not help her that she showed up for trial 5 months pregnant ( not by me ) of course.

[Crockpot]

I have read many of your posts.  Best wishes!

[slickvirk]

Congratulation form the bottom of my heart. Enjoy your wonder full life with them.

[FLMom]

Wow oh wow oh wow! Fantastic for you and your daughter!!!!!!!

[greatdad]

>Wow oh wow oh wow! Fantastic for you and your
>daughter!!!!!!!
Son 4, Daughter 7............................Would you believe the X is now balking at visitation  saying " you won them, so now you enjoy them"
" I am relinquishing my title as mother to you, I am removing myself from the equation". "You'll be dead one day and I will have a relationship with them then".
So now, she apparently feels she will try and get to me, by denying herself to the children.

[KatieJJ]

Congratulations!  How wonderful for you!  My ncp husband and I envy you! (His kids are subjected to PAS by mom, who is custodial) :-)

[DevotedStepmom]

Congrats doesnt' seem to say enough!!  Congrats is when our graduate high school and college but when you win custody of inocent children who deserve to have a fighting chance in life congrats just doesn't say enough so awesome is my word and the utmost BEST WISHES for you and your family!!  My hubby NCP of 2- CP of 1 and myself as CP of 1 understand the feat that you just accomplished!  I hope to be able to say soon that we won too, were fighting for his NCP 2 from a mother who absoulutely does PAS and have a forensic pyschologist ready to testify to prove that!!  YEA!!  so enjoy and you have given me new hope to keep fighting!!!

DevotedStepmom

[greatdad]

>Congrats doesnt' seem to say enough!!  Congrats is when our
>graduate high school and college but when you win custody of
>inocent children who deserve to have a fighting chance in life
>congrats just doesn't say enough so awesome is my word and the
>utmost BEST WISHES for you and your family!!  My hubby NCP of
>2- CP of 1 and myself as CP of 1 understand the feat that you
>just accomplished!  I hope to be able to say soon that we won
>too, were fighting for his NCP 2 from a mother who absoulutely
>does PAS and have a forensic pyschologist ready to testify to
>prove that!!  YEA!!  so enjoy and you have given me new hope
>to keep fighting!!!
>
>DevotedStepmom

 I am glad to share what got me to this point, so here goes:

Friends who told me the truth, NOT what I wanted to hear.

Family who allowed me to talk about it, even though I was a broken record.

Absolutely giving up ego & pride and actually begging for help if it was what I needed to do, to get things for the children.

Realizing that if you really take "best interest of the children" to heart and live accordingly, that you just cannot go wrong.

Going broke to leave no stone unturned to save my children, but accepting it.

NEVER letting the lawyers run the case ( but also taking their advice after thinking it through), or allowing any communication with the other side that I did not get to see.

Doing as much document collection and investigation possible to save money , and because no one knows better than you, what is really important ( to the lawyers it is just another piece of paper, they don't know what it is until you tell them). Get everything to the lawyers, then sit down and review it to be sure they understand it.

Make sure you and your lawyer agree on a "strategy and presentation"  that will allow the Judge to gain the insight you need him to have, make sure you and your lawyer have a connection beyond that your a paycheck to them or get a different lawyer.That personal bond may well be the difference in whether they go that extra inch or not when it counts.

There is so much more, but here is the last 2:
PRAYER helps!

DO NOT EVER,EVER, EVER GIVE UP ON YOUR CHILDREN.............PERIOD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[gemini3]

I sent you a PM a few months ago asking what part of VA you're in, and who your lawyer is.  I'm in VA as well - Hampton Roads.  I filed for a custody change last year and it was denied (they said I didn't meet the change in circumstance rule).  I was not happy with my lawyer.  He didn't stick to the game plan we agreed to once we got into court.  He did not request a psychological test of my ex, as we had agree prior to getting into court.   My ex was previoulsy diagnosed with a personality disorder, but I don't have proof because the diagnosis was 10 years ago and she's refused to go to counseling since then.

I was able to get some help with all of the problems I was having with visitation interference, and I was able to stop some of the other PA behavior that was going on.  But - I know this isn't the end of it.  We started having problems again recently, and they have been escalating.  I've been out of town (I'm military) and my wife is supposed to be getting visitation with the kids, but my ex has been violating, so I can see that we'll be going back to court when I get back.  I don't want to use the same attorney.

If you want to send me a PM I would really appreciate the help.

Congrats to you and the kids.  It's encouraging to hear about a Dad that won in VA.

[greatdad]

>I sent you a PM a few months ago asking what part of VA
>you're in, and who your lawyer is.  I'm in VA as well -
>Hampton Roads.  I filed for a custody change last year and it
>was denied (they said I didn't meet the change in circumstance
>rule).  I was not happy with my lawyer.  He didn't stick to
>the game plan we agreed to once we got into court.  He did not
>request a psychological test of my ex, as we had agree prior
>to getting into court.   My ex was previoulsy diagnosed with a
>personality disorder, but I don't have proof because the
>diagnosis was 10 years ago and she's refused to go to
>counseling since then.
>
>I was able to get some help with all of the problems I was
>having with visitation interference, and I was able to stop
>some of the other PA behavior that was going on.  But - I know
>this isn't the end of it.  We started having problems again
>recently, and they have been escalating.  I've been out of
>town (I'm military) and my wife is supposed to be getting
>visitation with the kids, but my ex has been violating, so I
>can see that we'll be going back to court when I get back.  I
>don't want to use the same attorney.
>
>If you want to send me a PM I would really appreciate the
>help.
>
>Congrats to you and the kids.  It's encouraging to hear about
>a Dad that won in VA.
I dont know how to use PM feature here, maybe you can explain  hiow and I will be glad to assist you?