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when NCP is tying to reconnect after 7 years but won't even try hard...

Started by balleros, Dec 23, 2018, 05:49:22 PM

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so after 7 years of being a ghost, my son's father is trying to reconnect.
I have no problem with that but the way he is doing it is not even that beneficial to create a bond.
Example 1: he showed up at a soccer game but he didn't stay for the end so they really didn't talk.

example 2: he asked me to pick up from Target a gift for my son for Christmas. yeah great....Nut I told him it would mean more if he actually brings it over.

He lives 8 miles away but I don't see that he TRYING is trying enough.
do I just play along?
play it by ear?
ask for consistency?


How long has he been back?You should not have to get him gifts from dad especially when he is that close. Is child comfortable going with dad? Maybe offer a few times in public places so you can stay around until child is comfortable again and then offer a day each week he can come get him? Since it is Christmas, offer a few hours tomorrow or this week for him to spend time even if it just going to fast food place and back so start the communication again.

Playing devils advocate maybe he had to leave his game for appointment, work, or pick up another child (if he has second family). Always encourage child time with dad but you both should not drop everything/plans if he can not plan ahead. Door should always kept open for dad but at same time tell him that consistency for children is key and can he come up with a day a week that he can see him regularly. (even if work gets in way , can be planned a month ahead and have days on calendar).

Good luck!