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Visitation - a lot has went on

Started by dipper, Jun 20, 2019, 10:14:57 AM

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We have primary custody since January 2018.  BM and her mother shared joint legal with us and had visitation.  Son had supervised visitation with no set times.   Things went on, I filed a show cause.  BM filed for sole custody.  Maternal grandmother was supportive of this and willing to come off of order completely.    During this time, bm was dating, planned on moving in with him, got pregnant on purpose - she had cystic fibrosis and it was not managed well.   She did not do what she needed to do.  Her health deteriated quickly.  Went to court in February- her lawyer told her to drop it.  She had notified everyone that she would be moving in December - into a trailer in the man's parent's yard and it still was not ready in February and no date in site.   Her attorney told our attorney - she will never move and she cannot take care of a child.   

So, an agreement was reached instead.  We dropped show cause.   She dropped sole custody.   We took Wednesdays out of visitation and some was altered to make up for that.   Maternal grandmother was not named in new visitation changes.   ONLY the mother was named for weekend visitation and 4 weeks during summer.    Grandmother signed the document.   I have emails from bm stating that when she moved child would be with her, living with her - nights with her.

BM had the baby three months early in March.   BM died in mid April.   Apparently a bacterial infection set up.  They let us know nothing of how serious her condition was until the night before she died.   It is awful...and we truly feel for everyone.   GD is doing okay....we already had her in therapy.  We work on a memory book.

But the situation now........the maternal grandmother, in our opinion, does not have the same rights she did prior to that amendment in February.   We have filed for a clarification from the court.   We have also filed to have the joint legal decision making taken away as we have never gotten along.  I found case law that cited that it would be stressful on a child to make a situation that requires cooperation and communication where none exists.   Anyway, talked with GAL and she agrees about joint legal.  She was not direct about visitation, but did ask if she could send our proposal of what we would offer to the grandmother - which kind of implies something to us. 

However, grandmother had approached her ex (bm's dad) within days of bm passing away asking him to do something about us having custody.  He said she also approached his family.    She has now made a bedroom for gd and her brother when he gets out of the hospital.   

Our son, who has supervised visitation, has been an issue for us.   He does not want to pay any child support and calls us money greedy.   I have filed through DCSE to let them handle it.    He has never acted so mean before.   We found out Tuesday that he is on Meth.  He called my husband out of his head and paranoid.   We went with him to the ER and found out he had went to the ER on Monday too for same reason.    He says he will get help and attend outpatient treatment.  But, he also says his drug use is all our fault for filing for child support.   

The part with the maternal grandmother - I expect she will file for sole custody.  It is typically their way to wait until the day of court or the day before to file.   

Son - I don't know whether to file to have even the supervised visits stripped until he goes through treatment and tests clean for a certain amount of time.  Or just give these facts to the judge and let her do whatever she does.


Quote from: dipper on Jun 20, 2019, 10:14:57 AM
We found out Tuesday that he is on Meth.  ....   We went with him to the ER and found out he had went to the ER on Monday too for same reason.    He says he will get help and attend outpatient treatment.  But, he also says his drug use is all our fault for filing for child support.
1) Right, everything is your fault, got it. That's mighty convenient for him, not having to take any responsibility for his actions.

2) They always say they'll get help, and 99.99999999% it never happens or it doesn't stick.

3) See #2.
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