Welcome to SPARC Forums. Please login or sign up.

Jul 19, 2024, 08:06:45 PM

Login with username, password and session length

Not sure where to turn...

Started by desperateFather, Mar 10, 2021, 11:53:22 AM

Previous topic - Next topic


A bit of back ground is in order I suppose. My child's mother who my child stays with, declined child support years ago. My understanding is she has been collecting benefits by stating she doesn't know where I am, however I have proof where she has brought my child to me over the course of years. My work has me travel and I am away for months at a time. Recently, things have been much better for me as I landed a job that is above what I normally make. I made a post showing how my life had improved over the previous year and now she has refused contact between my child and I until child support is paid, and a visitation order in place. She is telling my child  that the reason I am not contacting them is because I refuse to do as she wants. She lives in KY and I am currently working abroad. I wish to file for custody because I can provide a better life, both mentally and physically for my child. Please help!!! The average percent of fathers with custody is less then 20%, so I fear that unless I come fully prepared, I have a snowballs chance of being able to provide my child with the life they deserve. I just don't know where to turn.


How old is child(ren)? You really can not just go for custody without a really good reason. If you are able to stay in same school district, you can fight for 50/50 time. They will not move child from home/school/activities/Friends especially when you are not even in the US. Once you are in court, they will make a child support order and a visitation order. You can put in there ways they will contact you while you are away (facetime? Put the exact days/times per week so there is no argument). You can mail them letters/packages. You can contact their school and ask for the parent portal so you can see their attendance and grades. If/when child is old enough for a phone, you can start to contact them directly. Good luck!


The child is eight years old. He was pulled out of school by his mother to be home schooled, however there has been no real record showing that. I am not out of the states, I just travel from state to state. There was no issue as far as visitation until very recently when I landed a better job. We communicated, dates and times, and there was video calling when I was away at work. She has declined child support for years. As far as reason goes to remove the child, I would state that I can provide a better life. One where they do not go hunger, and have clothes that fit. She has a history of violence, even being arrested for DV against me. She is on medications for her mental state but has stopped taking them.  There is an excess of alcohol present, and while I cant confirm, I suspect possible drug use.  The state of the home is deplorable whenever I would pick the child up.


The courts only care about the child. Call the local school district and see what has to be turned in as far as home schooling. Right now there are also kids on remote learning (not the same as home schooling) where the district does online lessons and child stays home. Which one is child doing? If it is remote, the child has a teacher you can contact.
The courts will not care about what you think or what you have seen. CPS would need to be called and open a file against mom with any charges. They rarely pull a child and change custody.
Once she puts you down as father or the state finds out , she will probably not receive any of the child support and any money will be given back to state to "repay" them.
If you ever feel child is in danger or no food, you can call the local police to do a welfare check.